Jackster and Ironside Review Planet of the Trolls
Jackster and Ironside Review Planet of the Trolls
Ironside: Welcome to another edition of Jackster and Ironside's Movie
reviews. Today, we review the movie Planet of the Trolls. Basically the
story is about a group of laker fans, the "B" team, Bozak, Ben, Bryan, and
Branden, who all travel to the Laker NG of the future and realize that the
Trolls have taken over due to all the Laker fans wiping each other out.
Meanwhile Jack White has forced all the trolls to work on their vertical
leaps to ensure their dominance. All intelligent Laker fans are gone. The
Trolls have become the dominant species. Only Al Wilson-like Laker fans
remain and they all have been rounded up into camps. Here's a scene from
Planet of the Trolls.
Bozak: what the hell happened to this place? where did all these trolls come
from?
Jack White: You SEE how PRIMITIVE these Laker fans are? They CAN'T even use
the caps lock correctly!
Spinhead: Yeah, I bet they don't know how to use Real Audio either!
Chrsan: Let's throw them all in the ocean and feed them to the sharks!
Jedi: Sharks don't eat humans. Besides, Sharks are now extinct. I had them
all exterminated. Don't you remember?
Chrsan: No sorry.
Jedi: Oh yeah. That's right. I forgot half your brain is missing after that
unfortunate shark attack. I still don't why that shark attacked you. Sharks
don't normally attack humans. Trust me on this one.
Ironside: Frankly, I'm disappointed in this film. I mean, there was far too
much clothing being worn and not enough sex involved. And it seems a bit
anachronistic. These primitive humans should NOT be wearing so much
clothing. And frankly, there were far too many male actors involved. A bit
sexist if you ask me.
Jack White: I TOTALLY disagree. The amount of vertical leap in this film was
absolutely AMAZING! Hands down, movie of the year!
Ironside: Uh huh. Whatever.
Jack White: Who do you think would win in a fight? The apes or the dinosaurs
in Jurassic Newsgroup III?
Ironside: Who cares? Can I get a new reviewing partner here?
Jack White: Frankly, I think with the power AND size of the dinosaurs, they
would prove to be WAY WAY better than any ape.
Ironside: Whatever. Anyways, I was disappointed in the lead actor Bozak who
seemed to go out of his way to insult everyone.
Jack White: Didn't you praise him for the exact same thing in the last
movie?
Ironside: Uh..... that must have been someone else. Anyways, join us next
week when we review Scary Parody 2.