Jacques and Christof
Jacques: I'm Jacques! Christof: And I'm Christof! Jacques and Christof: And we want to (clap) PUMP you up! Christof: Ya, you too can look like this. http://members.optusnet.com.au/~cepac/pictures.htm Take a look at my bulging biceps and pumpitude. No man named Jason can resist a properly pumped up jedi boy like me. Jacques: You LOOK like a LITTLE GIRLY man compared to Manfred! YA, Take a look at these GUNS! http://photo.starblvd.net/giantgonzolez/1-3-4.jpg Christof: That guy is actually me. The other pics I posted was me at a younger age, ya. Jacques: YA, join our club now! Work on your leg presses and squats to INCREASE your vertical leap! Christof: Ya, and you can also work on your leg muscles to become a faster following bitch! You will be able to catch anyone before they even have time to killfile you! Jacques: Join now! You DON'T want to look like Ben. http://www.webworldinc.com/shouses/photos.htm Christof: Ya, he's the girly man with the flabby muscles. Jacques: They ALL have FLABBY muscles. Ben is the one who looks like that SKINNY FLABBY muscled Bruce Lee. Christof: Don't compare Ben with Bruce Lee! Bruce Lee was a manly man, ya! He is the strongest man in the world pound for pound! Check out these pics of his properly pumped up body! http://www.allposters.com/Galleryc.asp?aid=73195&parentaid=0&search=Bruce+Le Jacques: You have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what you're talking about! Someone like 5'10" 186lbs Chyna who could benchpress 365lbs and HAS beaten up wrestlers WAY WAY bigger than Bruce Lee, would TOTALLY snap Bruce Lee in TWO! Christof: Ahem. Kareem, anyone? Jacques: That WAS totally FAKE! Bruce Lee NEVER really beaten up Kareem! Everyone knows those movies ARE FAKE unlike Monday Night Raw! Besides, Kareem had SKINNY and FLABBY arms! Christof: Well enough of our bulging bodies of muscles. Let's take a phone call. Chrsan from San Antonio, you're on with Jacques and Christof. Chrsan: oh man..i can't believe i'm on the air with you! christof, are you ever going to show up in san antonio and personally pump me up! Christof: No, I'm too busy pumping myself up.... with heroin. Chrsan: but i want to see you in person! i'm tired of pumping up my blowup doll! Christof: Give me your address and I'll send you an autographed pic of my perfectly pumped up body. Jacques: Let's take ANOTHER call. Ironside, you're on the air. Ironside: You guys are a bunch of cowards! Why don't you call out Bozak for his flabby muscles? Jacques: You calling ME a coward? If you were here RIGHT now, I'd CHOKESLAM you through the mat! Christof: Ya, I know you're not talking about me. I'd give you a headlock and start flexing my bulging muscles. Your head would disappear between my muscles! Ironside: I'm calling both of you cowards! Christof: You want to call me a coward in person? Ironside: Uh....ok, when should we meet? Christof: Uh.......two years from now? Ironside: Um...... that's too soon, how about 3 years? Christof: Uh..... that's too soon also. How about I send you an autographed pic of my fearsome manliness. Ironside: Ok fine. When I recieve your pic, I'll call you a coward right in your pic's face! Jacques: Well that's ALL the time WE have for today's show! This show HAS been sponsored by Paul Wight's Stero..... errr Performance Enchancement Health Products. I'm Jacques. Christof: And I'm Christof: Jacques: Remember to hit the weight room like a MADMAN and buy our fitness video of pumptitude so we can (clap) PUMP you up!
