• Last night!
  I went to bed alone last night. I've slept alone most nights, but it's never been compulsory before, so I sobbed all night until about midnight. I thought "I can't go on like this!" So I got up and went into Daddy's room.

I began to crawl into bed next to Daddy and he woke up and said "Not tonight, honey! Go back to your own bed!"

I burst into tears, and he said "Honey, what's wrong?"

I sobbed "I'm (sob) shut out (sob) forever (sob) aren't (sob) I, Dad! (sob)"

He said "Aw honey! There, there! It's not that bad, is it? Everyone sleeps on their own eventually. If Mummy hadn't died, you would have stopped sleeping in here by now."

I got into bed with him anyway. I said "We still need to comfort (sob) each other (sob) don't we Dad?"

"Sure, honey! But let's comfort each other during the day. Sleeping together isn't such a good idea any more. You're really too old for that now."

"I don't want to ever stop being able to sleep with you Dad!" By this time I was in his arms, feeling comforted, and my sobbing settled down.

"Why, honey? Don't you want to be a big girl?"

"Don't patronize me Dad! I just love you, that's all."

"Honey, there's two different types of love. There's love that daughters feel for their fathers, and there's love that wives feel for their husbands. Now, which type of love do you feel?"

I said, softly, "B-both, Dad."

He said "No, honey! You can't feel both! You feel...."

"Don't tell me what I feel, Dad! I know what I feel!"

"But honey, married love between a father and his daughter is utterly inappropriate."

"We got really close when we helped each other through our grief, much closer than most fathers and daughters. Don't you feel that too?"

"Oh, I'm too tired to argue. Go to sleep now and we'll talk about it tomorrow!"

"Okay Dad!" He turned his back to me, and we both went off to sleep. I felt relieved to be back in his bed, even if it's only for one more night.