from a yahoo! chat on 10/08/2002:

lashonhara: so my gym partner had to go to the dentist tonight, which is fine, so i made an appointment with my trainer tonight.
lashonhara: isn't that peachy keen?
ssean54: IT'S CUNTRAGEOUS!
ssean54: make sure you hit the packie before your workout
lashonhara: packie?
ssean54: liquor store- that's a townie Boston expression
lashonhara: oh, that's so cute!
lashonhara: i'm sure my trainer will be so happy to see me arrive all liquored up!
ssean54: smoke some Pall Malls too!
lashonhara: actually, instead of going to the gym as washed-up drunken 'ho,
lashonhara: i'm going to dress up as super-fag
lashonhara: in neon pink hot pants over a black leotard
lashonhara: with matching headband and leg warmers!
lashonhara: i'll swish around from one machine to the next.
lashonhara: my trainer will be so turned-on that he'll fuck me on the stretch mats!
ssean54: I'm sure and all the while "Flashdance" will be playing
lashonhara: i model myself after richard simmons. he's totally snatcherrific!
ssean54: he's such a total turn on- what a man!
ssean54: i bet he's a top!
lashonhara: and he's not any kind of stereotype in any way! i mean, he loves barbra streisand! who ever heard of a gay man who loves barbra?
ssean54: seriously- you would never be able to tell by the way he talks that he's gay
ssean54: he's so tough and quiet too
lashonhara: his high-pitched voice is so masculine! it really gets my juices flowing!
ssean54: and the way he screaks like a canary and his frizzy curly hair- Ultra-hyper masculine!
lashonhara: he's so bossy and commanding! i can tell he used to be a marine!
ssean54: I thought he was a straight antigay dude when I first saw him
lashonhara: you can tell that he keeps himself in shape because he likes himself the ladies!
lashonhara: richard simmons looooooves to eat pussy!!!
ssean54: i heard one time he was in a lockerroom and he kicked some queens ass that was checking out his huge chest and massive cock
ssean54: this is so fucking funny- I'm wetting my pants ; lashonhara: richard simmons looooooves to eat pussy!!!
lashonhara: i heard that he once had sex with madonna in the back of her limo, made her cum twice, and left her begging for more.
lashonhara: and this is after she married guy ritchie!
ssean54: he shot his load all over her tits, smacked her ass, squeezed her tits
lashonhara: called her his bitch while taking her from behind

[ ssean54 sends the following picture ]

lashonhara: that's too funny...
lashonhara: he's so butch in that tank top and those shorts!
ssean54: i'm almost crying
lashonhara: looking at that picture on my monitor makes me want to rub my crotch all over the screen!
ssean54: I want to be on my knees infront of Richard while he fucks my mouth with his enormous cock
lashonhara: i want to rip those striped hot pants right off of him and put them on my head while inhaling deeeeeeeply...
ssean54: Richard Simmons is like my Viking warrior fantasy in armor with a sword and shield

[ ssean54 sends another picture ]

lashonhara: oh my god, another picture...
lashonhara: i just want to be his personal valkyrie and ride him all night long!!!
lashonhara: "ohhhhh, riiiiiiiiiichard! yes! yes! yes!"
lashonhara: my deepest fantasy right now is to have a three-way with richard simmons and urkel from "family matters."
ssean54: what men!
ssean54: i want his 12 inch big fat black cock buried deep in my ass!
lashonhara: here's a viking fantasy for you!

[ lashonhara: sends a picture ]

ssean54: how did you ever find that???
ssean54: and he's stripping for money!
lashonhara: it was one of the first sites i pulled upon my search -- it's full of urkel pictures!
ssean54: he's a stripping viking! that's too funny!
lashonhara: i think that picture alone is sexier than all the richard simmons fantasies that could possibly be!
ssean54: well Urkel, we're not sure of his sexuality- it's the whole mystery- so manly, but could he be?
lashonhara: i love how he's stripping at "club buff"
lashonhara: and the old lady on the left has a bill in her hand
ssean54: she's gonna try to touch his cock i'll bet
lashonhara: she looks pretty sly -- i think she might try to put it in her mouth, too!
lashonhara: so i'm just going to have to be a big 'ho in montreal this weekend!
ssean54: that's right, you're gonna be whitney houston this weekend, girl!
lashonhara: yup! i learned from the best! i learned from you!
lashonhara: i hope we hear that "kiss my black ass" song from miami.
ssean54: me too, that's been in my head all day!
lashonhara: seriously???
lashonhara: that's hysterical!
ssean54: so funny you nemtioned it
ssean54: seriously!
lashonhara: we really are sisters -- we think so much alike!
ssean54: Kiss my BLACK asssss!
ssean54: we totally are
lashonhara: okay, i gotta fly.
lashonhara: chat w/ you tomorrow!
ssean54: okie dokie
lashonhara: tuesday is over! only two more days 'til montreal!!!
ssean54: yoo-hoo!