| Information on the current situation |
| LASAR FORCE |
| Lasar Force the website is created purely for the purpose of world protection and or education about the forces of evil. Any affiliation with any other entity is purely coincidental. This is created for no benifit to the creator other than aiding in freeing the world form the threat of alien invasion. Copyright Steve 2005. LASARFORCE is a subsidy of the Australian Space force. |
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| "Lasar Force: Unleash the power of Lasars " |
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| Freeing the world from the threat of alien invasion |
| Intelligence report |
| Danger metre: |
| 9:1:22 |
| Alien spacecraft are attacking the stratosphere. |
| Threatening |
| Dire |
| Critical |
| Dilute |
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| LATEST COMMUNICATION RELEASES: |
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| 16 March 2005........ -- Congratulations to the 105 members of Lasar Force team 198 under General Meneral who successfully deterred over 50 alien spacecraft last night. Their efforts are greatly appreciated in this dire time. |
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| BASIC NEWS= |
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| 24 Februray 2005........ -- Lasar Force Headquarters: We would like to bring attention to the excellent work General Garrison has achieved at the United Nations December talks by bringing worldwide attention to the Lasar Force crusade. It has taken many years for the world to acknowledge the work of Lasar Force and we congratulate General Garrisson on gaining the support of the world. He has secured over 20 billion US dollars funding from the United Nations which will enable Laser Force to widen it's range and continue protecting the world. |
| In event of an alien attack press this button to destroy all evidence of this website and the Lasar Force Headquarters IN EMERGENCY ONLY |
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| IMPORTANT 19 March 2005........ -- The Lasar Force intergalactic satelite has JUST INTERCEPTED AN ALIEN MESSAGE. THE EXPERTS HERE AT LASAR FORCE are unable to decipher the language. We are asking YOU to help decipher it and CONTACT Lasar Force Headquarters. Time is not an option. ---------------------------------------------------------- Received 1800 hours today: HELLO THIS THE MOTHERSHIP. Come in EarthKiller. This is the mothership. Gone is the human species. All hail the mothership. Attack on Human Species eminent.......prepare 500 ships for attack above Australasian ozone.....stratosphere weak. Breakthrough will occur within 1 hour of attack unless we are stopped so total secrecy is necessary. If humans attack will result in failure. Attack at 1800 : 260 mars rotations. End communication. |
| 21 March 2005........ -- Lasar Force was shocked to discover that an alien infilrated the Guest book. The alien refered to itself as Rufus Conroy-Sppla44rgz of the planet GFr3%arrH. The alien mentioned the iminent destruction of Earth. It is for this reason that the below message must be deciphered as soon as possible by vistors to this website. |
| 27 March 2005........ -- The earth has been saved thanks to Brett Simpson, Sarah K Sams and Rob Truong who similtaneously sent Lasar Force the solution to the Alien message. Coincidence or fate? Early this morning a force was sent to stop the evil alien attack above Australia, saving the earth. These three young recruits shall be promoted to Seargent status. ----------------------------------------- HELLO THIS THE MOTHERSHIP. Come in EarthKiller. This is the mothership. Gone is the human species. All hail the mothership. Attack on Human Species eminent.......prepare 500 ships for attack above Australasian ozone.....stratosphere weak. Breakthrough will occur within 1 hour of attack unless we are stopped so total secrecy is necessary. If humans attack will result in failure. Attack at 1800 : 260 mars rotations. End communication. -------------------------------------------- Rob: I hope to god this helps our planet.....this fighter prays so. P.S. I expect my promotion to Seargent within the LASAR force anytime ---------------------------------------------- Brett Simpson Viper Pilot Battlestar Galactica BSG 75 Am so glad that our intelligence could finally decipher this message, perhaps we have saved the earth from extiction for just a little while longer...Live long and prosper and ... Lasarforce, for those who tire of unheroism! |
| 7 April 2005........ -- We need your ideas for new spacecraft to combat the aliens and reduce Greenhouse gases! Have it posted to win! Click here SEE CURRENT ENTIRES HERE Please include your preferred name with your short plan (50 words max) |
| Number of times world has been saved: |
| 18 |
| 19 April 2005........ -- On behalf of the LASAR LEADER, General Garrison would like thank Yahoo! Inc. for adding this website to their global search engine and continuing their long support for Lasar Force. Unfortunately, political pressure and conspiracy means that google has not yet included this website to their network, as is the case with other link sites. Your contribution would be greatly appreciated by contacting such sites to counter political pressure. |
| 20 April 2005........ General Steve-- Lasar Force's popularity is rising with the counter making it's way past 1000. There were over 200 hits last night and more people all over the world are visiting and joining every minute. The revolution has begun! |
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| 1 May 2005.... -- ufo.it has added Lasar Force to it's website links. We thank it for remaining undaunted by evil conspiracy. |
| 12 May 2005........ -- Joyous is this day! Lasar Force recently passed the big 2000 and was finally accepted into Google!! We here at Lasar Force thank our loyal cadets for maintaining tough political pressure on Google. |
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| 23 May 2005........ -- NOW THIS is NEWS! CADET CENTRAL IS LAUNCHED. Messageboard and more! |
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| 8 AUGUST 2005........ Yesterday at 11am Lasar Force the website was compromised. This situation was averted however some forms and the website's counters have been damaged. It is now safe to continue using this site, thanks to the efforts of General Malay and Cadet Hex. |
| 17 October 2005........ The young Lasar Force cadets have just started the first of their many tests to facilitate their further success in life or signal their dismal faliure. We wish them all the luck and urge them not to worry or stress. |
| 17 MARCH 2006........ As many of you may know the past few months have been laborious for Lasar Force representatives. The U.N yesterday relinquished its 4 month enforced hiatus on Lasar Force activities. JOYOUS IS THIS DAY. Representatives from over 345 countries voted unanimously in favour of Lasar Force and its aim, no longer denying the existence of alien attacks. The 3 month court case, headed by Seargent/accomplished lawyer Mr. Finch delivered indisputable evidence to U.N delegates. We thank those who testified. Excerpt from the LASAR LEADER's speech to cadets and media representatives: "Cadets and fellow citizens of the world, this day has been a long time coming. Our past work has been vindicated, however future work is still at hand. This new relationship will only strengthen our efforts not remove their need." |
| 6 MARCH 2006........ Soldier Frank Simonson a delegate from the Mediterranean Lasar Force headquarters reports: Last night an alien engine mysteriously crashed into a child's bedroom in suburban Turkey. No trace of the aircraft it was attached to has been found giving a mysterious aspect to this peculiar occurrence. The engine is presumedly from an alien ship destroyed by the ozone in an attempt to reach the stratosphere. |
| 28 MARCH 2006........ The Lasar Force yearly seminar took place in Sunnyvale California last night. All 12 generals attended and the seminar was a huge success drawing an estimated 20 000. In other news Bollywood superstar Otm Shank is in talks with Hollywood executives concerning a multi million dollar biopic of Lasar Force founder L. Ron. Cupboard. Set during the mid 40's, excitment is mounting around the sure-fire blockbuster, set for a Summer 2008 release in the U.S. |
| 24 ARPIL 2006........ OTM SHANK SPEAKS OUT AGAINST PROCTOLOGY Bollywood Superstar Otm Shank's public outburst against proctology on The Today Show made headlines yesterday. Otm, who rose to fame in the early 90's in such Indian favourites as The Three and Fried Green Tomatoes, lashed out at host Tomas Ladar, "You don't know the history of proctology. I do". The ignorant host fought with the superstar over several minutes "I have friends with history of varicosities and inflammation of veins in the anus. If they say that this particular thing helped them feel better, whether it was the anal penetration or going to a proctologist, isn't that enough?" Otm rebutted his statements with ease, "Tomas, you have to understand this. Here we are today, where I talk out against penetration of the rectum via proctoscopes with individuals not knowing the effects of these tests. I've never agreed with proctology, ever. Before I was a Lasar Force cadet I never agreed with proctology". During the interview Otm regularly invited the glib Ladar to "shove it", finally remarking "Up yours". We here at Lasar Force wish to congratulate Otm over his un-failing public commentary against proctology. |