5/18/04
I've moved! Helen from broken-bracelet.net has been kind enough to host me at her site. So you can still read my blog, but it's at http://broken-bracelet.net/kofuku now. ^^
4/26/04
I was waiting for my dad to pick me up today. Was standing inside of Walter waiting, when this guy walked in and asked what time it was. After a bit, I left Walter to Fraser and waited for my dad there because that's where I usually wait anyways. A few minutes pass and the same guy that asked me for the time walks into Fraser. Yea...first thing he says to me is something like, 'yes I followed you from Walter to here. Do you want to get some coffee?' What the hell am I suppose to say?!
Please take note guys, do not admit to a girl that you just stalked her when you are going to ask her out to coffee or something like that. 10.37
4/23/04
I've been doing some research into the new treatments for psoriasis that have come out in the last 4 or so years since I've gone to see any kind of doctor for it. They've got shots for it now, where you either go into the hospital to get it, or administer it yourself. Yea...I hate shots, but I was thinking...maybe maybe it would be worth it. But then I was reading the side effects, and the pricing. Between $10,000 and $14,000 for a years worth (price w/o insurance coverage). Can we say 'holy shit!'? *sigh* I'm just so sick of my parents spending money on all these treatments that haven't gone anywhere. The only thing that EVER helped was when I went to Vietnam and they had me drink a whole bunch of weird crap. I swear there was snake blood in one of them. I don't really care, it totally cleared me up. For the first time since I had been like 8 yrs old, I was completely free of my damn skin disease. I have a picture somewhere of me in a swimsuit at the ocean with no spots. Nothing that would even make you think I hadn't always had troubled skin.
Does my skin disease bother me? Yes and no. I've lived with it for so long that I don't really give a damn a lot. And I usually don't give a damn either about what others think. Then again, I might have bad vision but I'm not blind either. I look in the mirrors when I try on clothes and it's not like I don't see those ugly scaley spots everywhere. I guess that's a reason why I don't wear skirts and dresses very much. I suppose that's another reason as to why I try to have a good bodily shape. And gosh damnit! I do NOT want to get any more questions fucking asking me if I'm contagious or what I did to myself!!!!
Why are stupid people able to reproduce?? *raises fist* 10.12
4/17/04
Whee, I got my refund from pinchpenny.org. That means I have $20 bucks put towards the hosting plan and the domain registration. I really want to register kofuku.net right now, but with finals coming up it probably isn't a good idea. I'd become obsessed with making a layout or something.
So I just finished watching the music video of December Love (yes by Gackt) that was dedicated to 9/11. The video is really good in what it's promoting which is love and peace not war. It's like watching a home video. And it just reminds me how people, complete strangers came together and lent their shoulders for each other. It didn't matter if we were in different states, different countries, different time zones, people all around the world realized exactly how special life is. And 9/11 was a horrible event it self, but it's a wonderful example of how things/people that we take for granted can be taken away in an instant. It reminded people to take available opportunities to tell others they cared/loved them. What happened to everything we learned and felt back then? Where did it all go to?
I look at my parents sometimes and I'm reminded of how slow people are to opening their minds. Religion isn't bad. There is not a single religion in this world that is horrible. Don't bother telling me otherwise because I won't listen. It's the people that twist religions, use them as manipulating tools to do evil. Don't tell me that Islam is a murderous religion. If you do, then explain to me the holy crusades. There's so many lessons we've been given. So many horrible consequences that we've seen from "good intentions." When are we going to really understand them. If we were given a final, pass or fail would we pass? 10.39
4/07/04
So I've decided that I'm going to buy a hosting plan from estarr.com. I emailed a few customers of theirs, and have only heard of good things. Plus they have 75MB for $35 and that'd cover a full 12 months. I don't think I'll be needing anymore then that right now anyways. Hopefully, I'll be able to register the domain kofuku.net. I really really want that domain name! *throws a tantrum* It just sounds pretty to me, and kofuku means happiness, and the .net just fits so well for it. At the moment, it hasn't been registered yet. *crosses fingers* I kind of hate to do this, but I've made a paypal account. 1) So it's easier for me to get my $10 back from pinchpenny.org. 2) Maybe...possibly some people would like to donate some chuck change to help me out. Alright, here's hoping that there's nice folk out there. ^^ Just kidding, I know that donating or not is something seperate from being a good/great person. Have a good day people. 3.42
4/2/04
Okay, so if I haven't told you then here's the official notice that I've been accepted into CEHD and the pre-physical therapy program. I've also sent in my letter of intent, so it should all be good. *grins* I'll party after finals though.
Anyways, I found the speech that I'm going to use for my critiqing (sp?) assignment. It's called "An Invisible Wall of Racial Segregation" from Jimmy Carter while he was running for president.
Oh and you can yell or hurt me all you want, but I think I might be making my next layout a Gackt themed one. Bwhahahahaha...
*Edit - Wahoo, I finally fixed the pop up windows. 11.57
3/16/04
Still no news from CEHD about my transfer acceptance or rejection. *sigh*
Anyways, I found something or that is someone to distract me from my studies and other issues. Gackt! Apparently he's this great Japanese singer. I've been listening to a few of his songs, and although I can't understand a single thing he's saying, his voice is really nice and strong. No wonder all his albums are always in the top 10 in Japan. I was reading some of his bio, and the guy is definately weird. Example, it takes him four days to cook anything, he wears more make up then I do, (but at least he can put it on decently) and says he can see ghosts. *shrugs* He's intelligent enough though. He can speak Japanese, Mandarian, French and English. Three of those which he speaks fluently and he's currently learning Korean and Cantonese. WOW! He can also play a bunch of musical instruments too. Anyways, here have a lookie curtesy of Cube -
The guy has AWESOME looking abs!! *drool* 9.32
2/29/04
So I got a notice from CEHD (college of education and human developement) that they received all the needed material they need to look over and approve or reject my intent to transfer. And I'm sitting here pretty nervous now. I hope that I get in. I don't think they're really choosey...but still the not knowing. I don't know what I'll do if I don't get in. I mean, yea reapply and hope things work out next time, but initially what am I going to do? Am I just going to fall apart, or what? *sigh* 1.23
2/22/04
I'm really tired right now. Probably should go do biology or finish my resume before I go to bed tonight though.
Service desk was really boring, I got an asshole guy right off the bat. He was stupid and wouldn't let me explain anything so I hope he isn't able to return his crap at all. I hate it when people yell at me, especially people I don't even know. They can just go kiss off. snur!
Friday was an alright day. I tried to do hw/study after I got out of chemistry. Unfortunately, I was very unproductive. I did do a little bit of stats hw though. I hung out with David some. That was fun, saw a bit more of The Matrix. I was late meeting up with Lyly, Mai and Ryan though. I did feel bad, I should've been watching the clock more closely. *hangs head in shame* We got lost a little trying to find Meghan's place, but we finally found her and eventually found the Thai place we were looking for. Met Hanh there, and her roomie Leah. Leah seems pretty cool and nice, I can see why Hanh and her make pretty good roomates. The service was slow, we waited for I dunno how long for our food. My dish was okay, but everyone else seemed to like what they ordered. The Vagina Monolouges was good. Only bad thing was that sitting on the floor watching it wasn't comfortable at all. It suprised me how many guys were there, although they all seemed married. So maybe their wives dragged them along. *shrugs* After the VM, we met up with Hanh again at their Student Center (correct me if I'm wrong). That place seemed really nice. Hanh finally gave me my bday present, it was poster of Legolas!!!! Bwahahahaha...very good porn *wink wink* I replace my old poster of the elf with that one. I'll have to iron it out though.
Which reminds me...Kaitlyn still hasn't given me my presents for 2 bdays blah blah blah...what a record. I don't think I'll ever see them, not that it matters anyways. She should've just not have gotten me anything. It would've saved her money. 9.50
2/13/04
Lately, I've been hearing quite a bit about gay marriages on the news. Not that much, mind you because I don't watch the news that much. But yesterday morning on The Early Show, they had this lady who was a lesbien and also represented one of the activist groups wanting to legalize gay marriages as well as some Reverend (sp?) guy. And while I was sitting there listening to them, the Rev. was just pissing me off. I remember him going on about how if we legalize gay marriages then we're essentially saying that being gay is okay. Well first off, what the fuck is wrong with being gay. From what I learned of the bible in my religions class is that technically God won't send you to hell simply because of your chosen lifestyle. Granted he might not look highly upon it (whatever.) but you aren't damned if you do. The Reverend didn't even answer this question of how gay marriages would harm straight marriages. He just started rambling about how it's not right and blah blah blah. I respect his opinion, but cripes man answer the question. In my opinion, there isn't any harm in having gay marriages.
I also talked to Mark about it a bit in biology lecture. Mark didn't believe in them from a religious perspective, as well as saying that two men or two women can't procreate which is one of the aspects of marriage. But thinking about, that isn't really true. The women could still have babies, they would just need to get some sperm. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with adopting kids if you want to have a family. After all, there are so many kids out there that would like to have parents and a real home. And in the end, good parenting isn't based on the sexual preference of the parents, it's based on the actions and decisions that they make for their kids.
Mark also commented on how in the end it's all about the tax benefits. And yes, I can see how those would come into play. I'm not completely blind after all. I don't think that's right though. I think that when it comes down to it, it's so hard to find someone who cares about you and wants to spend the rest of their life with you, just as you want to do with them. Maybe that's the kindegartener's comprehension of what marriage is, but that's what I think. Yes, marriage is a scarce thing that shouldn't be done carelessly. But what marriage done legally is, is only what society defines it as. The scarce part of marriage has nothing to do with being legal or not or what society as a whole may think, but is all about the two people whether they are straight or gay or bi and their souls becoming one.
I heard on the radio I think it was NPR, about a lady who couldn't vote for Unions between gay people, because it reminded her too much of Brown vs. the Board of Education. That is to say, the seperate but equal schools for blacks and whites, that in the end was seperate but really not equal at all. You know how they say history always repeats itself, well I'm getting a feeling that if it's going to be unions instead of marriages for homosexuals, then we're going to see a repeat of history again. 12.55
2/7/04
Chip can go to fucking hell. I don't give a fucking crap what he says. Or if he says that it's crap that I refuse to help with their damn abandons. Maybe if he didn't let them fucking sit there and accumulate he wouldn't have so many at the end of the night. Fucking screw him!!! I don't give a crap ass if he's pissed at me, fuck him! I swear today was the day for dumbasses. My neighbor plowed a path into his backyard to shovel the snow off of his deck. And later apparently my dad went and did the same freaking thing. OMG!!! This deck has been up for years and the snow has never been a problem. So Target changed the return policy, and we pretty much won't except returns w/o a receipt now. Just my luck I got some stupid lady who couldn't get that simple message/detail through her freaking brain. I don't give a fuck if have a receipt for this pillow. I'm not returning the other ones w/o a fucking receipt. No receipt = no return, how fucking hard is it to understand that?! I don't care if you threaten not to shop at Target anymore. I don't care what you fucking do with the pillows if you can't return them. I don't care, I don't fucking care!!!!
10.52
1/31/04
Someone sent this to my email for my birthday. I like the poem and how it gives a person strength, thought I'd put it up here.
Never Forget
Your presence is a present to the world.
You're unique and one of a kind.
Your life can be what you want it to be.
Take the days just one at a time.
Count your blessings, not your troubles.
You'll make it through whatever comes along.
Within you are so many answers.
Understand, have courage, be strong.
Don't put limits on yourself.
So many dreams are waiting to be realized.
Decisions are too important to leave to chance.
Reach for your peak, your goal, your prize.
Nothing wastes more energy than worrying.
The longer one carries a problem, the heavier it gets.
Don't take things too seriously.
Live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets.
Remember that a little love goes a long way.
Remember that a lot . . . goes forever.
Remember that friendship is a wise investment.
Life's treasures are people . . . together.
Realize that it's never too late.
Do ordinary things in an extraordinary way.
Have health and hope and happiness.
Take the time to wish upon a star.
And don't ever forget . . .
For even a day . . .
How very special you are . . .
—Dave Griffith
12.53
1/20/04
Yea, you know you really haven't updated your blog when you sorta forget which page you write your stuff in. So I didn't write all break. Overall it wasn't anything special. Hung out with friends, family, got to sleep in lots, worked, cleaned the house what seems like a gazillion times, etc etc. I can't remember all the highlights right now, okay that's a lie. My mind is still on vacation so I'll attempt to write later about how exciting my break was.
So first day back at school, and I was feeling like a freshman earlier. I couldn't figure out how to get into the darn Field House! But now I know...they're tricky these U of M building designer people. Yada yada yada...after that I dinked around and got a bottle of water at Coffman then headed over to the St. Paul campus. Stupid me didn't notice the stats class I was taking was located over there. Sokay though, because the building was easy enough to find. I also think I found a really nice place to study over there. ^^ Too bad I forgot that it was lab, which means it didn't meet today since I haven't had one lecture. Yup, that's why I'm in college. Now I'm just waiting for my other classes.
Lalala...Kaitlyn better have registared for her classes, or else I'm going to go kick her ass. Um...oh yea Lyly gave me my birthday presents yesterday while I was at her house watching her clean. She got me this cool li'l book which has a map of hwy 1 in Cali, so I can start planning the trip to Cali. Yea baby!!! Feel free to let me know if you'd like to join us. The more the merrier as well as cheaper. ^^ Other then that, Lyly got me a book with a sex position for everyday. Bwahahaha...now if only I had the time to actually try each one on their day. I suppose it'd help if I had a boyfriend to...details, details. 12.15
12/05/03
Chem lab is finally over, I just dropped of my last lab report. Yay! Well I should be studying right now, but ah well, much on the mind.
Lyly, Helen and I went to Coffman for lunch and got ourselves some niffty henna tattoos. Best thing is that they were free! Free is good. We also waited in line for a considerable time to get free tarot card readings. Mine's left a bit on my mind to think about. The lady said that when I do move out, my parents will by that time be okay with it. Mainly b/c they'll like my roommate, yea I guess I'm just going to be living w/one other person. However I won't be living near enough to campus so I could walk. But it's weird b/c I want to live in walking distance to school. Oy... On the bright side, she said that physical therapy is really right for me, and she said she sees me making a really good living doing it and making lots of companions in the work place. What I'm really pondering about is how she said my parents really wouldn't be happy if I married someone outside my religion. I asked her if she meant more like culture not religion, but she said it was religion. *shrugs* I think it's culture.
I wish I had had enough time to ask about my love life though. I'm not completely 100% believing what she said. However, it'd have been nice to know something. Whatever it might have been. So maybe I'll just go and pull out my deck and see how it goes. *sigh* 4.12
12/1/03
"Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better." -King Whitney Jr.
I haven't simply sat down to think for it seems a long while. Not sure if that's good or bad. Things race across my mind one moment and are gone the next. Maybe I'm getting old. Anyways, I ran across that quote and thought it interesting. When it comes down to it, I guess I've always been more worried, fearful of change. I don't know if it's just something running inside me right now, but I don't want to let fear anchor me down anymore. Maybe it's for wrong reasons to decide this...but I just feel like I'm missing out on so much.
I've also been thinking about circles. More specifically, the circles I keep running in my life. And perhaps...I can find the strength to break them. Even though I know other circles are going to develope in place of the ones I break, they might just be better ones. 2.03
11/29/03
I dispise my dad. He sits on his ass doing nothing. I dispise him for not trying to adapt to a new culture and way of life. I dispise him for being the lazy fucking jackass that he always is. I dispise him for opening his mouth and speaking about what he knows nothing about.
Do you think I give a damn if he thinks doing research would be an easy job. You know, that's great for him but otherwise I don't give a shit. If everyone in the fucking world only wanted to do easy jobs, we wouldn't have a lot of things we depend on. Who'd be the people in the ER's working day in and day out under all sorts of pressure? Who'd run for President?
He's such a fucking inconsiderate asshole!
I will get away from this place. I need to get away before it consumes me whole and leaves nothing to be salvaged. I hate to leave my mom alone with a jerk so prone to foot-in-mouth disease, but I don't know what else to do. 1.00
11/28/03
Although I really liked the old layout, it just felt like it was time for something new. Hmmm...maybe this will be my early xmas present to myself. 9.17