Dedication: To Melissa on her funny fic, Rach, Kris, Kelly, Hyacinth, and Jennifer ya'll are just too cool, and to my brother for having a copy of Austin Powers readily available to me :)
P.S. Excuse some spelling errors I know there are a few of them in here.

MESSAGE APEARS IN BIG BOLD YELLOW LETTERS ROLLING ACROSS THE SCREEN ALA STAR WARS:

IT IS THE YEAR 2018 WE FIND OUR ALIEN TRINITY GHANDHI, SPIKY, AND THE ICE QUEEN BACK IN THEIR HOME PLANET. WHERE THEY ARE SAFE FOR NOW . . .

IN SOME BIG EMERALD PALACE AT THE END OF THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD:

"Send in Agent 285," Max MakesMeMoanALot said into the intercom.

"Yes, sir," came the crisp reply. There was a brief pause.

"Sir," Max MakesMeMoanALot rolled his eyes and pushed down the button on the intercom.

"Yes?"

"Where should I start looking for him?"

"Dumb bannana curls blonde," Max MakesMeMoanALot muttered.

"Try the cheap motel rooms around the vicinity," He said patiently.

"Still hasn't gotten over that pixie has he?"

"Shut up Secretary Tess or I'll fire you!" Max MakesMeMoanALot screamed into the intercom. "I swear if you weren't my destiny . . " Max MakesMeMoanALot looked to the other side of his spacious office where Secretary Tess sauntered over to him in her extrememly short extremely tight steel blue secretary skirt hugged to every move.

"Could we do more of what we did last night?" She licked into his ear while sitting into his lap.

Max MakesMeMoanALot considered for a polite second before pushing her off.

"Maybe, now go get your oh so suave brother."

Tess pouted before going.

"I'll bring you back a mint."

Max MakesMeMoanALot wiped her saliva from his ear.

"Liz was better at it," he muttered glumly.

MEANWHILE IN SOME CHEAP PORNO VERSION OF AN ALADIN HOTEL ROOM:

Secret Agent 285 and some sultry redhead fell back on the red satin sheets. She curled up contented next to a slick and sauve Michael Guerin. He smirked sexily at her and went for a cigarette at the night table. He lit it up and proceeded to exhale perfect O's.

"I've never had so much fun in my life," the redhead sighed into her red velvet pillow.

"I aim to please," he patted her bare hip. "Shall we have another round?" he asked trailing his finger over her skin seductively.

"Oh, but didn't we just do one?"

"Baby, I could go for a couple more."

"Well . . . "

The door burst open with a flushed looking Tess inside the frame.

"Hey, my sexy sister."

"Michael, Max MakesMeMoanALot wants to see you," she gasped out of breath from searching all the cheap porno version of Aladdin hotels around the area. There were more than she realized. Hmmm . . .

"Well . . . " Michael looked at the sultry redhead at his side, the blonde

redhead,

blonde,

redhead,

blonde,

He always had more fun with blondes.

He slipped the redhead a little tongue before leaving her.

"Flexibilty Training?" Secretary Tess asked as they left.

"She was an amateur," the suave agent replied with a yawn.

BACK AT SOME BIG GREEN EMERALD PALACE AT THE END OF THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD:

"Ice Queen Isabel," Michael gave a short bow to the tiara wearing blonde at the throne. Max MakesMeMoanALot hovered nearby her encased in a floating chair a la the Professor in X-Men.

"Michael the Trinity is in grave danger. Nympho Nurse Susan is threatening to blow up our planet."

The debonair Michael gave a loud HAHA!!

"Where would she get such artillery?"

"Agent Stevens," Ice Queen Isabel rolled her eyes.

The Gorgeous Guerin gave another HAHA!!

"They somehow convinced the President our kind is dangerous."

"But baby the worst we are is horny."

"Michael!"

Michael ran a hand through his perfectly maintained spikes. A French maid in the wings fainted.

Max MakesMeMoanALot hovered over to Michael.

"Michael, Nympho Nurse is very disgruntled because you never got back to her when you turned 18, and now if she can't have you no one will."

"Michael why can't you ever clean up after yourself," Ice Queen Isabel frowned.

"Why should I when I have my faithful Candygirls to do it for me."

He snapped his fingers and a voluptuous brunette vaulted from behind a philendrome armed with hair products while another curvacious Candygirl manicured his nails. When they were done they gave him a kiss on both cheeks. Our sexy spikey haired agent gave another run through his hair.

"OoOoO Michael!!!!" Another French mind fainted beside Secretary Tess. She rolled her eyes.

"You'll have to go back to earth," Max MakesMeMoanALot said to him. "There you will meet someone who'll be assigned to help you."

"Topolski is still our ally?" Michael smirked sending the French maid who just regained conciousness to collapse again in the wings.

"Of course," Ice Queen Isabel huffed looking disdainfully at the maids piling up on her royal floor. "So easy to manipulate people through dreams."

"Especially if it's a wet dream," Michael laughed deeply at his own joke.

The three other aliens rolled their eyes.

"OOH Michael!" they moaned.

Michael licked his pinkie with his pink tongue and placed it to sizzle on his chest.

"The one and only."

"You have 24 hours to complete this mission," Max MakesMeMoanALot warned.

"You're our only hope," Secretary Tess pleaded.

"Michael don't mess up or I'll mess with the spikes."

Michael ran a hand through his hair again leading another of Ice Queen Isabel's many French maids to faint.

"Don't touch the hair."

"I gotta get better help," Isabel complained to her court.

"Michael?" Max MakesMeMoanALot called out to Michael as he turned to leave.

"I think you're going to like the location."

IN SOME TROPICAL SPRING BREAK RESORT ABDUCTED BY MTV:

"Hey guys this your VJ Carson and I'll be pulling you in for the play by play in this spectacular event '24 Hours to Save My Home Planet' and here with me is my own little MTV Vixen Liz LikesItInTheBackside Parker."

"Hey Carson," Liz WhyIDon'tMindIfYouDoMeInTheBackside Parker pinches him in the derriere.

"Oh baby not now," Carson whispers.

Liz pouts.

"During commercial?"

"You bet baby."

Liz DoMeNowIntheBackside Parker perked up.

"Well, spring breakers I have an informed source that one of the Czehloslovakians is going to come here."

"Is she sexy?"

"He sure is," Liz let's her hand rub against her chest in a seductive manner at Carson.

"Hey Barry I think it's time for a commercial," Carson says before humping Liz in the you know where.

IN SOME UNDISCLOSED LOCATION IN THE MTV SPRING BREAK RESORT CONDOS:

"Titillating Tolpolski," Michael Guerin greeted the blonde in a yellow string bikini.

"Agent 285 I presume," she looks him over through slited eyes.

"Yes, but you can call me Guerin, Michael Guerin."

"Agent 285 you will be going to Club Orgasm where you will meet your partner. There she will give you instructions on what you are to do. From here on I'll never see you the rest of the mission. It's too important."

She looked over at Michael again suggestively the Gorgeous Guerin knew what that look meant.

"So you want to have sex?"

"I thought you'd never ask," Titillating Topolski breathed as she jumped on the Agent.

LATER ON AT CLUB ORGASM:

"Hola MTV spring breakers Carson here at Club Orgasm the horniest hot spot in town right my little Liz SheLikesItWhenIDoHerInTheBackside Parker." She is conviently standing in front of Carson bouncing her booty against his frontside.

"It's the G-Spot of the town Carson."

"So I hear our Agent 285 is going to meet his partner in crime here."

"Yes and we all know who she is," Liz IWannaGetItMoreIntheBackside Parker bounced her booty harder against Carson's hard on.

"Barry time for another commercial," He said tossing the mike and grabbing Liz by the hips.

AT THE CENTER OF THE DANCE FLOOR:

Michael OH I'm So Sexy Guerin is surrounded from all sides by women in tight leather and lycra club gear gyrating to the music. A particular chickie with violet hair is jiggling her package in front of Michael.

"Oh I never had so much fun in my life!"

"I get that a lot," he said suavely runing a hand through his hair letting five of the gyrating Candygirls faint in mid swoon.

"Oh he's sooo DREAMY!!!" the others screamed as another one fainted.

"I never met a girl with your . . . hair color before," he said slipping his arm around her tiny waist.

The violet chickie smiled as she took out her poisonous hair pin and was about to stab it in his neck when . . .

"Can I join in?" came a voice sweeter than honey to Michael's ears. Michael turned slowly and looked at Maria in rapture. She was encased in a deep pink velvet tank low cut of course and matching velvet pink bikini shorts.

"Why honey we meet again."

"We can meet more if you like," she purred.

"Ohh you are a sexy chick," Michael rolled the words off his tongue. "Wait a tick."

Without looking Michael twisted the wrist of the violet vixen.

"Oww," she screamed as she ran away holding her wrist.

"How'd you know?" Maria wondered slithering up to Michael.

"Honey, I knew you just interupted me before I could get the job done," he explained slipping an arm around her waist. She smiled at this and let her hands play with his hair. Michael gently pushed her hand away.

"Don't touch the hair."

Maria looked put down.

"But you can touch anything else on me you pouty pixie."

Maria wiggled her eyebrows lavaciously and started nibbling on his lower lip.

"Mmmm."

"Is there a restaurant near-by?" she whispered in his ear. "We could relive old memories.

Michael looked at his watch and let his most I'm calculating how many hours I've got before I can save my home planet pause.

"Let's take a hump down memory's countertop." He said leading the way while holding onto her hand.

10 Candygirl club goers fainted in mid swoon.

"Why does SHE always get him!!" the remaining Candygirl's wailed.

OUTSIDE THE HEATWAVE CAFE:

"Hey my sun worshippers Carson here,"

"And Liz He'sBeenHumpingMeALotInTheBackside Parker."

"We're at the Heat Wave Cafe where our little couple are um . . ."

"Trying out the special of the day," Liz thinks for a sec. "I hope they get to the mission soon."

"You know Liz CanIHumpAgainThatBackside Parker those moves look damn entertaining."

"Would you like to try those during commercial break?" Liz IthinkI'dLikeAnotherRoundIntheBackside Parker let her mike slither down her body in a provacative manner.

"Barry. . ."

"I know," Barry rolled his eyes. "Hey guys go to commercial."

"Thanks Barry," Liz breathed as her and Carson went for another go around.

MEANWHILE ON A COUNTERTOP IN THE HEATWAVE CAFE:

"Remember Maria I like my Tobasco sauce, shaken, not stirred."

Maria nodded her head in compliance as she shook the Tobasco sauce on her bare chest.

Michael sighed.

"I sure do have more fun with blondes."

125 MINUTES LATER IN SOME PORNO VERSION OF AN ALADDIN HOTEL ROOM:

"Did I ever tell you you look smashing in pink?" Michael complemented as Maria emerged in a pink thong bikini.

"Did I ever tell you you're a hunk in a tuxedo?" Maria said playing with the zipper of his pants.

"Maria darling I just finished dressing."

"Wouldn't it be better if you're undressed?" Maria countered.

"Hold that thought," Michael said as a hotel employee tried to drop kick Agent 285. Michael caught his foot in mid-kick and karate chopped him breaking the bone. His partner came charging up from behind him.

Michael stood there calmly until at the last second where he pulled out a gun and shot the goon straight through the heart.

"Come my pink daisy, this room is getting a little crowded."

She kicked the conscious goon on the side.

"You weren't my type anyway."

GOING DOWN THE TROPICAL TURNPIKE:

"Hey my Swimsuit Swingers Carson coming live to you off the Tropical Turnpike on my motorbike."

"Hey you made a rhyme!" Liz I'veJustDoneAnotherHumpInTheBackside squeeled. She was conviently sitting in front of Carson on the motorcycle."

"Aren't I talented?"

"In more ways than one," she cooed.

"Just ahead of us are our M&M duo explaining the plan of attack."

"I'd like to attack you right now," Liz GimmieAnotherHumpInMYBackside Parker said stopping the bike.

"Barry go to commercial!" Carson screamed.

"Put on Areosmith's 'Amazing' video!" Barry yelled at the crew.

JUST AHEAD INSIDE A RED SPORTS CAR TOP DOWN OF COURSE:

"You're Agent Double D's Deluca now?" Michael asked Maria. He aimed an appreciative glance at them.

"I can see why."

"You're cute," Maria placed a peck on his cheek.

"Oh, I'm more than that."

"But call me Intensity. I like the sound of that better."

"Okay Intensity. So what are we to do?"

"The president is going to be one of the judges in the Beauty in the Beach Contest."

"But what about Nympho Nurse Susan and Agent Stevens."

"I took care of Agent Steven," Maria frowned at a hang nail and got a nail file from the glove compartment.

"But Nympho Nurse Susan is also one of the judges. So I say we enter the contest and . . ."

"I got the idea," Michael interupted as he barely noticed Maria stab a goon hiding in the backseat in the eye with her nail file. She looked at Michael and the way his spiky hair seemed to shine in the sunny wind.

"You know Michael I've always wanted to do it with you in a car."

"Sweetie we're running out of time," Michael scolded her gently. Maria crawled across the seat as she sat herself on Michael's stickshift ready to go.

"Didn't you ever see that Charlie Sheen movie? We don't have to stop the car to do it."

"Oh you're one Genie in a Bottle," as Maria started stroking Michael's stickshift.

"I definitely know how to rub you the right way."

LATER AT THE BEAUTY AND THE BEACH CONTEST:

"Hey my Gorgeous Babies Carson here,"

"And Liz HowManyTimesHaveIGotItInTheBackside Parker."

"At the Beauty & the Beach Contest we're at the final round now between our five couples: the Sixty-Nines, the Tossed Salads, Spits and Swallows, and our last couple I'm sorry what were your names?" Carson asked them rather apologetically.

"Intensity," Maria lowered her chest to accidentally on purpose flash the crowd. There was a raucous roar from the male audience.

"Guerin, Michael Guerin." Michael ran a hand through his perfectly maintained spikes. A fifth of the female audience fainted in mid swoon.

"OOOHH!!! That SIX-PACK is so SEXY!!!" They swooned.

Michael blew a kiss to Nympho Nurse Susan who smiled demurly at him.

"As you know folks the final round is the talent competition the couple with the most um . . . talent wins." Carson explained letting his hand slap Liz AlwaysInItForTheBackside Parker in the butt cheeks.

"Oh wait for the commercial love muffin," she whispered to him.

"And our judges will give them the score," she said outloud to the audience.

Michael gave a cautious nodd in the direction of the President who seemed to be wiggling a lot in his chair.

"On with the show couple #1," Carson prompted.

You all can guess what Sixy-Nine did with their act.

"The tongue action down there was left to be desired I must say," Michael yawned.

The Tossed Salads did some pretty interesting things with croutons.

"I say that does look a bit scratchy," Maria grimaced at their act.

"Yeah, too much of a turn off," Michael raised a brow.

And Spits and Swallows couples pretty much gagged on their acts.

"Downhill all the way." Our two agents said together.

"And now our last couple M&M!!" All of the Candygirl's showered the stage with M&M's. Michael caught one and brought it to his lips taking his time in letting the chocoalate melt in his mouth.

"Oh my hero!!" another third of the female audience fainted.

Nympho Nurse rolled her eyes. The President wiggled around in his chair more.

"Remember Maria I like my Tobasco sauce shaken, not stirred."

Maria gave him a teasing grin as she began to do things to Michael with the Tobasco sauce and the M&M's on the floor leaving the entire audience to tilt their heads curiously to the side and the censors to cut that bit off from the televised broadcast leading to the best selling uncensored videotape MTV ever sold.

"Well, I think we know who the winner is," Nympho Nurse Susan stood up walking towards Michael her hips swinging from side to side.

"Nympho Nurse Susan." Michael said suavely.

"Michael Guerin you never called me when you turned 18."

"I was back in my home planet. How could I?"

"You still should've called." Nurse Susan grabbed Maria and pulled an M-16 to her temple.

"And if I can't have you then the bitch can't too!"

"Michael!!" Maria chocked.

"Maria!!" Michael clenched his teeth.

"And when I'm through with her you're through too Agent 285." grinned Nympho Nurse Susan devilishly.

"NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Came the loud sonic boom of thousands of Pixie Chicks, Candygirls, and Lollies from the crowd. The MTV buzz and exposure on the internet on this event sent the masses to see their lovable couple together again.

"Oh no," Nympho Nurse Susan whispered turning different shades of green as they all over flowed the MTV stage attacking her while at the same time doing a minimal amount of harm to their beloved duo.

"Wow!" Michael awed as the two of them backed away.

"Yeah," Maria was equally awed. "I always knew we had the coolest fans."

"Excuse me Mr. Guerin? Ms. Deluca?" The President spoke finally sat up zipping up his pants as an intern came up beside him.

"Yes, Mr. President?" They both replied.

"I realized that the people from your planet are not bad. Ya'll just want a little love," he swiveled his pelvis like Elvis. "And I'm sorry for any harm that I've caused your home planet. If there's anything I could do for you just let me know," the President winked at the both of them.

In the background the Pixiechicks, Candygirls, and Lollies, were dragging poor Nympho Nurse Susan's body away behind a luscious palm tree.

"Well, there is one thing you could do for us," Maria looked at the President rather suggestively.

"Whatever can I do for you little lady," the President gazed longing at her Double D's.

"Well this is Spring Break and what every Spring Break needs is a . . ."

"PARTY!!" Michael finished putting an arm around Maria's waist in a she's mine attitude.

There was a loud cheer from all around.

"PARTY!! PARTY!!! PARTY!!!!"

THE BIG PARTY IS WELL UNDER WAY:

"So '24 Hours to Save My Home Planet' has brought the channel it's highest rating ever right my little love lily."

"The highest in the history of MTV!" Liz I'mTiredOfYouHumpingMyBackside Parker. She looked distractedly to her left and noticed a dark haired main with intense eyes off to the side minus the hovering spacey chair.

"Max," Liz was awestruck by the sight of him. Still his dream man in her eyes.

"Liz," Max answered his eyes shining as they walked to each other in slow motion as the rest of the world ceased to exist around them. They met each other in the middle of the beach.

"Whatever happened to Tess?" Liz asked Max.

"I fired her," Max said smugly.

"Did you ever love her?" She implored biting her lip.

"How could I when I was in love with you."

"Oh Max your the only one you MakesMeMoanALot," Liz swooned between passionate kisses.

"Liz you're more than SomeoneToDoItInTheBackside Parker."

Liz smiled at Max and noticed a bowl of strawberries on a beach blanket.

"Max."

"Yes my love," Max groaned licking her neck.

"Look strawberries, you know what that means."

Max smiled.

"Blondes aren't the only ones who can have fun."

"AAAAWWW!!!!!!" Came the swoon of thousands of Dreamgirls happy to see their beloved couple together again.

ONSTAGE OF THE MODEL MISSION 2018:

"Be back in five!" Alex said in the mike. His band 'The Whitts!!' was doing a special guest appearance for the MTV Spring Break Model Mission Show.

"Hello Alex," came a voice from behind him.

Alex turned around to see Isabel in a snug sequined red dress she was made to model for.

"Isabel."

"You look good," she smiled unbuttoning the top buttons in his Hawaiin print shirt.

"I um how've you been?" He asked finding it hard to breath with her near him.

"Pretty good actually," Isabel sauntered up closer to him.

"Oh, I'm happy to hear that," Alex gave a nervous grin.

"But I'd be even better with you," she grabbed him by the shirt and gave Alex the tongue.

"Oh wow," Alex breathed in shock.

"So what'd do say?" Isabel asked asked looking at him.

"I think it's time to melt the ice," Alex suddenly the man of debonair.

""AAAAWWW!!!!!!" Came the chorus of thousands of Stargazers happy to see their beloved couple together again.

IN A SECRET LOCATION ON A CLIFF OVERLOOKING THE OCEAN:

Maria snuggled up to Michael contented after their own little victory party. Maria glanced at Michael down there.

Well it wasn't so little by anyone's standards she thought with a smile.

"I never had so much fun in my life," Michael sighed kissing Maria tenderly on the forehead.

"I bet you say that to all the girls," Maria pinched his nipple playfully.

"Oh hey," Michael squirmed laughing.

"No, only with you," he gazed up in adoration at her sea green eyes.

"You know you're one intense chick," Maria kissed Michael then and there letting his whole become only her at that moment.

"And your my Moon Doggie Agent 285."

"That's Guerin, Michael Guerin."

Maria ran a hand through Michael's beloved spiky hair leading all the Candygirls to fall over in dead faint.

"She touched his HAIR!!! She always get's all the FUN!!"

Michael and Maria both winked at the screen saying together:

"You know what they say about blondes."

:) So what didya think??!!! I know it's not as hilarious as Melissa's but I need feedback on this PPPPLLEEASE ::gives big puppy dog eyes:: it's got to be the cheesiest fic I've ever written.