Ventriloquist

An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand, walks into a small town and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun.

Ventriloquist: "G'Day Mate! Good looking dog, mate. Mind if I speak to Him?"

Kiwi: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie."

Ventriloquist: "Hey dog, how's it going old mate?"

Dog: "Doin' all right."

Kiwi: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: "Is this Kiwi your owner?" (pointing at Kiwi)

Dog: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

Dog: "Real good - he walks me twice a day, feeds me great tucker and takes me to the lake once a week to play"

Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

Kiwi: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either ....I think."

Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"

Horse: "Cool."

Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at Kiwi)

Horse : "Yep"

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regular, brushes me down often and keeps me in a barn to protect me from the elements."

Kiwi: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

Kiwi: "The sheep's a f*****g liar"