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| You know that you've joined a redneck HMO if: * The annual breast exam is conducted at Hooter's * Directions to the Dr's office include "Take a left when you enter the trailer park" * The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles * The only proctologist lists his address as Rotorooter * The Lone Star Bar and Grill is an approved pharmacy * Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month * Preventive Care Coverage includes "an apple a day" * Your Prozac comes in colors and has little "m"s on each pill * The only 100% covered expense is embalming And the best one: *Your Viagra prescription includes a popsicle stick and some duct tape |
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