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| 11 Different Types of Women in the Bathroom Indifferent - Rushes in, raises dress with a "whoop", pulls crotch of panties aside and squats with great force, rattling windows and causing breasts to bob up and down. Hums lively tunes and sounds like a bucket of water being poured from a third story window. Cautious - Has heard of so many girls contracting VD from toilet seats that she straddles bowl, leans over to flush, pees on her nylons. Worried - A week past due. Squats thoughtfully, counting days overdue on fingers. Uses toilet paper, examines it hopefully. Peers into toilet before flushing, sighing deeply. Walks out biting nails after forgetting to wash hands. Resolves never to go to bed drunk again. Conceited - Approaches toilet with undulating movements, giving the other girls high-fives. Raises dress by fingertips. Expression while peeing indicates that such a lovely creature should not be compelled to attend to such lowly duties. This type farts louder than a firecracker and stinks like a goat. Sloppy - Skirt drags in toilet while squatting, pees all over front of toilet seat, never uses toilet paper, drags her business all over seat, forgets to flush and emerges with back of skirt caught in pants. Timid - Looks under stall door to see if anyone else is in the can, turns on faucet full force, backs up to toilet, squats quickly, flushes for constant flow of water, coughs, hums, listens intently to learn if sound other than faucet can be heard. Ends up with loud fart, walks out blushing. Cross-Eyed - Sits on one cheek on the side of the seat and pees all over the floor. Usually wears rubber boots on her visits to the can and carries a box of Kleenex in her purse. Frivolous - Lets stream go in little squirts to the tune of "Row, Row, Row Your Boat". Literary - Always takes book of the month to the can with her. Blames "Forever Amber" for her piles. Big Time - Always leaves toilet door open while she chats and brags to the other girls about the guy she "had" last night. Shows girls her panties with black lace edging and "Welcome" embroidered in the crotch. Has never been to bed with a man. Drunk - Wobbles to toilet. After several attempts, manages to raise dress. Squats on toilet with shrieks of laughter, pees for a while singing happy little songs. Suddenly starts sobbing uncontrollably as she realizes that she forgot to pull her panties down. Sighs, continues to pee and sob. |
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