Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.


If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will
cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.


If there is a worse time for something to go wrong, it will happen then.

 
If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway. 


If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can
go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly
develop.

 
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse. 


Everything takes longer than you think. 


Nothing is as easy as it looks. 


If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. 


Nature always sides with the hidden flaw. 


Mother nature is a bitch. 


It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious. 


Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first. 


Every solution breeds new problems. 


No good deed goes unpunished.

  
Inside every small problem is a large problem struggling to get out.

  
Interchangeable parts - won't.


A short cut is the longest distance between two points.


Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost more than you thought.


A $300.00 picture tube will protect a 10-cent fuse by blowing first.

  
Any tool dropped while repairing a car will roll underneath to the exact center.


If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, maybe you 
just don't understand the situation.


Everyone has a scheme for getting rich that will not work.

  
Beauty is only skin deep, ugly goes to the bone.


If everything seems to be going well, you obviously don't know what the
heck is going on.


No matter how long or hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it,
it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.


In order to get a loan, you must first prove you don't need it.


There's never time to do it right but there's always time to do it over.


Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference.


Ater all is said and done, a heck of a lot more is said than done.


The only perfect science is hind-sight.


A failure will not appear till a unit has passed final inspection.


To spot the expert, pick the one who predicts the job will take the
longest and cost the most.


Cahn's Axiom
      When all else fails, read the instructions.


Gordon's First Law
      If a project is not worth doing at all, it's not worth doing well.


Maier's Law
      If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of.


Lowery's Law
      If if jams - force it.  If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

  
Jennings Corollary to the Law of Selective Gravity
      The chance of a piece of bread falling with the buttered side down is directly 
      proportional to the cost of the carpet.


Grossman's Misquote
      Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.


Jone's Motto
      Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.


Shaw's Principle
      Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will use it.


Gumperson's Law
      The probability of anything happening is in inverse ratio to its desirability.

 
Rudin's Law
      In crises that force people to choose among alternative courses of action, most 
      people will choose the worst one possible.

 
Manly's Maxim
      Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

    
Ralph's Observation
      It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a
      hurry.

 
Sattingers law
      It works better if you plug it in.


Jacquin's Postulate on Democratic Government
      No one's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session.

  
Rule of accuracy
      When working toward the solution of a problem, it always helps if you
      know the answer.


Zymurgy's First Law of Evolving Systems Dynamics
      Once you open a can of worms, the only way to recan them is to use a bigger can.


Zymurgy's seventh exception to Murphys law
      When it rains, it pours.:


Murphy's Law of Research 
       Enough research will tend to support your theory. 


Murphy's Law of Copiers 
       The legibility of a copy is inversely proportional to its importance.


Murphy's Law of Thermodynamics 
       Things get worse under pressure.

 
The Murphy Philosophy 
       Smile . . . tomorrow will be worse.

 
Quantization Revision of Murphy's Laws 
       Everything goes wrong all at once.

 
Murphy's Constant 
       Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value 


Finagle's First Law 
       If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.


Finagle's Second Law 
       No matter what the experiment's result, there will always be someone eager to:
       (a) misinterpret it.
       (b) fake it.
       or
       (c) believe it supports his own pet theory.


Finagle's Third Law 
       In any collection of data, the figure most obviously correct, beyond all need of 
       checking, is the mistake.


Finagle's Fourth Law
       Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it will only make it worse.    


Murphy's Laws of Mathematics &  Engineering
       Any error that can creep in, will. It will be in the direction that will do the 
       most damage to the calculation.


       All constants are variables.


       In any given computation the figure that is most obviously correct will be the 
       source of error.


       A decimal will always be misplaced.


       The more innocuous a design change appears, the further its influence will extend.


       The firmness of delivery dates is inversely proportional to the tightness of the schedule.


       An important instruction manual or operating manual will have been discarded by the 
       receiving department.