| Daniel 'laser pointer penis' Jackson |
| by tigermoth26 |
 |
| Title: Daniel "laser pointer penis" Jackson By: tigermoth26 Rated: R Pairing: none Category: humour, gen Spoilers: Meridian (episode...tag...) Summary: Daniel Jackson was hot. He knew he was hot, and not just your regular 'hot', Daniel was 'only the sun shines brightly out of my ass material' hot. Literally. Disclaimer: Stargate is not mine. Daniel Laserpointerpenis Jackson Daniel Jackson was hot. He knew he was hot, and not just your regular 'hot', Daniel was 'only the sun shines brightly out of my ass material' hot. Literally. Granted, now he had ascended, the sunshine glowed from many other of his bodily orifices. For example, if he really put his mind to it, Daniel could use his penis as a laser pointer in case of an emergency. Everyone loved him, nay, fell at his feet in delirious puddles of lusty goo, in life, and yea, they continued to worship his glorious glowing hotness even in almost-sort-of-not-quite-ascension/death. Daniel smiled disarmingly to his bowl of existential soup as he thought of the many mortal hearts that he had captured. So many people worshipped the pants off him! Sarah, Sha're'ure'uri, Hathor, Sam (Oh! Sam), Janet...hell even that Lieutenant Hailey and Janet's League of Randy Nurses. He suspected that Jack and Teal'c and Hammond secretly coveted him too. He'd swear on his laserpointer capable penis that Teal'c and Hammond both stared regularly at his gorgeous, finely hewn behind when they thought he wasn't looking. As for Jack, well, it was obvious wasn't it? If it wasn't for Daniel 'laserpointerpenis' Jackson and his endearing adorability, the entire Stargate Programme, nay, the entire Universe, would cease to exist. Daniel sat cross-legged upon the floor to avoid blinding himself with the light that shone brilliantly from the crack of his exemplary arse. OhMy The Salad approached from the other side of the room. "Eat up your existential soup Daniel Jackson." She crooned mysteriously, "I have run out of warthogs and the Indians have gone cold." Daniel lifted an immaculate eyebrow, complete with funny-looking blob. "Say what?" "Salamander." Said TheSalad, and hit him with a spoon. OhMy vanished with a flash of glowing earhole before Daniel had time to launch a pouty protest. Instead, he picked up the spoon and looked at it. The silver surface swirled, and cleared. A vision appeared within its surface. Daniel squinted (sexily). It was Janet...and...and Sam. They were sitting in the Mess Hall, looking...dreamy. Aw, bless! Thought Daniel intellectually. They're busy worshipping me! He squinted more closely at the spoon (his glasses were unworthy of his beauty, so he opted to see the world through well...mud). Janet's rosebud (though of course, not as rosebuddish as the perfect, manly rosebudded lips of Daniel LPP Jackson) lips were forming enthusiastic words into Major Carter's listening ear. "...and you know what else?" She was saying. Sam nodded her friend on, "Oh god, what?" "...*increased* *stamina*" The Doctor emphasised each of her words with a jab of her finger into her palm. Daniel beamed jauntily. Yes, yes he did have a *remarkable* stamina! It was so nice of them to still speak of him like that. His muscled torso swelled with pride, almost to the point of causing permanent physical injury, but not quite - as that would have been entirely over dramatic. Daniel was anything but over- dramatic, he was the queen of subtlety...more or less. (unfinished) |