Sometimes Book dreams that the others know all about him and that it's all right and that everything is normal.
Usually he dreams the opposite. Probably because the opposite is closer to what the reality would be if they ever found out who he had been only a few years previously.
In his dreams, the look on Mal's face alone would give Book nightmares if he weren't already in one.
Zoe is enraged, a state Book has never seen her in during his waking hours. She throws things and screams at him.
Wash shouts insults, so colorful you could paint a rainbow of hatred with them.
Jayne growls and bares his teeth.
Simon just sits there, stunned, while Kaylee and River huddle crying in a corner.
Inara's hand flies to her mouth; her eyes are wide with disbelief as she just stares at him for what seems like an eternity.
The feeling of betrayal is evident on all their faces and he can't defend himself against their accusations.
River tears pages from the Bible. "Doesn't make sense," she says, and he feels inclined to agree with her.
They pick up guns, bigger than any he's seen them with before, and they hunt him through Serenity's corridors and into a desert, which is colored blue in the absence of sunlight.
They begin to shoot and he struggles to find cover. The sound of gunfire mingles with the echoes of Adelei Niska's laughter.
Usually he wakes up before they kill him, but sometimes he doesn't. On those occasions he awakens in a cold sweat, gasping for air, and wonders for the umpteenth time whether it wouldn't be better for everyone for him to just leave before they find out.
And every time he finds that he can't bring himself to do it, and hates
these people for making him care about them so much.