"Zoe's out on a deal, I always worry," Wash had told Simon earlier.
Now they were in their bunk, in the process of tearing each other's clothes off. And here, yet again, was proof that he had just cause to worry.
There was a new dent in her armor.
He tried to shrug it off as he undid the clasp and pulled the armor off. It had served its purpose, that was all that mattered. He should be grateful for it, really, it had prevented something much worse from happening, after all, and anyway, it shouldn't be important right now...
There was a large bruise underneath the dent.
It didn't need to be worse, he decided. It was bad enough already.
Zoe had noticed that he was distracted. She caressed his face, lifted it so he was looking at hers and could see the question in her eyes.
"New bruise," he said.
She smiled. "Got shot," she said, shrugging slightly with one shoulder.
Wash wished he could just smile and shrug. "Zo..."
"Shh." She put her finger to his lips. "It's okay, Wash. It don't even hurt."
Wash poked the edge of the bruise gently. Zoe hissed. Wash raised his eyebrows.
"Okay, maybe just a little," she conceded.
Of course it hurt, how coud it not, all purple and green and blemishing her skin, reminding him just how close he came to losing her almost every day, making him feel sick and wish for something better for them, wishes that he knew were pointless.
"I hope you killed the guy that did it."
"Sure did."
"I just worry about you, is all."
"I know you do, honey." She kissed him lightly on the lips. "But there's really no need."
"But there is!" He raised himself into a sitting position, pulling her up with him. "This," -he pointed at the bruise- "This is just proof that there is a need for me to worry. This, or, or when you come back with holes in you, or burns from where the bullets have just missed you. You have so many close calls, Zoe, and I just can't help being afraid that one day it'll be too close."
"Wash..." There was pain in her eyes now, and Wash regretted causing it, but he had had to say something.
"I just wish..."
"That things could be better." She looked at him and he knew she understood, had understood all along. "That we could grow old together and die in our beds when we're ancient an' wrinkled, that we could raise our children somewhere they don't need to know 'bout guns and violence, that your dinosaurs wouldn't get chipped from bein' thrown around so much... It's a nice dream, Wash. It's somethin' to aspire to. But just 'cause we have that goal don't mean we can reach it."
He nodded. "I know."
And knowing was all that mattered, really. Knowing that she understood, that she knew that he knew that things would never be perfect, but that knowing that didn't mean they would give up hope.
"Besides," He smiled, the usual mirth returning to his face. "You know how much Kaylee loves to help fix the dinos. It'd break her heart if they were all safe an' whole all the time."
Zoe laughed.
And Wash smiled and shrugged and made love to his wife, he being careful
not to touch her bruise, her ignoring the pain when he did, and they lay
inside a captured moment of happiness for the rest of the night.
Author's Note: Thanks to shyday for making me think a little more about
that dent in Zoe's armor :)