Bert Tearle's Odd Odes
These were all written by Bert Tearle in the 1970's. My best friend at school was Ann Tearle (now Ann Wilson) and I knew her parents, Bert and Sylvia really well too. I almost lived at her house in the school holidays. Bert loved to tease me about my crush on KC, so the first three of these odes are about that. In 1976 we joined the Sealed Knot, the Society of Cavaliers and Roundheads who re-enact English Civil War battles for charity. As we were both only 15 when we first joined, Ann's parents used to ferry us about. They held out for a while about joining, but did eventually. So quite a few of the "odes" are about that.
These were written in fun and tho' some of them seem to tease me, it was all done in good spirit and I loved them. I am so glad I kept them.
KC (Harry Casey) Odd Odes
There once was a fellow named Harry
With the girls he just loved to tarry
Till he met up with Jackie
Who drove the poor bloke whacky
And now he's just done hari-kari.
Signed Shortfellow.
There once was a fellow named Harry
In Jackie's small heart he did tarry
But he gives me the pip
For he is a big drip
In the picture that Jackie does carry.
Signed Oddfellow
I used to carry a picture of KC everywhere with me, which got somewhat tatty over the years. (scan on my KC pages soon) which this refers to
Jackie's been fickle while Harry's away
She's fell for young Graham, a cavalier gay
While Harry poor fellow is over the sea
He's faded and gone from her memory
The only slim chance that Harry has got
Is to come back and join with the famous Sealed Knot
To dress up and act like a young cavalier
To go to their meetings a lapping up beer
She thinks Grahams handsome and gives him a glance
I don't think poor Harry has much of a chance
So listen you fellows if Jackie you like
Join the Sealed Knot, get a muskett or pike
A big hat with feathers and all of the rest
Though I think you will lose, she loves Graham the best.
In my early Sealed Knot days, I fancied like crazy a man called... guess what.... Graham. KC had to take a back seat for a bit till I realised I had no chance with Graham.
Other Odd Odes
Jackie was a little girl
Her fingers hot and tacky
She ate a sweet for every mild
And drove poor Bertie whacky
The car was filled with wrappers
From toffees great and small
But if you asked her for a sweet
She said "I've ate them all"
Signed Bertie
I went on holiday to Wales with Ann and her parents and big black dog Cindy in April 1976. This is in memory of the fact that I had... and still have... a very sweet tooth!.
In elegant dresses and hair done in tresses
In lots of fine laces and bright smiling faces
Are Jackie and Ann of the Royalist Clan
They go into battle like stampeding cattle
Then come to blows, the blood runs and flows
Some come off and say its too rough to play
And go back to camp their sorrows to damp
With beer they bought on the way
If you want to play rough with some roundheaded tough
You should sign on without any delay
Just see Jackie and Ann and they'll say that you can
And they'll sign your freedom away
To this point I'd stress, take no notice of dress
Of hair of pearls and fine laces
If you take my advice you will find a device
That will take you away to far places.
I. A. M. Notjoining
Written when Bert was still holding off about joining the Sealed Knot
To the Rose and the Slipper young Jackie we took
We thought that was allright you see
It was only a fairytale straight from the book
Though I sat Jackie farthest from me
It was really so sad that it made Jackie bad
Down her face the teardrops did spray
And there on the floor a dozen cartons or more
In her teardrops they floated away
So the moral is clear if we go again dear,
It'll have to be something thats gay,
Or the carpets will shrink as your teardrops they drink
And the carpets will go the same way.
By Dry Eyes
This film was the story of Cinderella and yes, it did make me cry!
Jackie's Birthday
Jackie is 18 years old today
She seems a lot younger, she's funny that way
She eats candy bottles that have sugar teats
And packets of crisps are regular treats
She comes into camp in the middle of night
Wakes everyone up with a terrible fright
They think they're attacked by a thousand or two
But its her hitting pegs with a number nine shoe
She washes each morning without any soap
Her hair hanging down like lengths of frayed rope
Her dress is all crumpled, in the
tent theres no room
She comes crawling out like a witch on a broom
Off to the battle she gaily does go
Doing much damage to both friend and foe
She treats all the wounded, making them worse
She should get a job driving a hearse
When she has finished , to the station she'll go
Taking along a big suitcase in tow
Like Boadicea with her chariot of war
She'll charge from the station and get stuck in the door.
Passengers legs like a sickle she reaps
Throwing them down in untidy heaps
Cars don't escape her, some she has rammed
Under their bumpers her suitcase has jammed
She could transfer to the Parlenemtarian force
But it wouldn't be fair on those lads of course
So we'll have to keep her and let is be seen
If we can survive till she is nineteen.
Signed Royal Oak
ps The Royal Oak was called the Royal Oak because King Charles kept hiding in them. Perhaps there was another Jackie about in those days?
Written on the occasion of Jackie's 18th birthday, 12th July 1978.
For Jackie I've bought a small present
A cannon like Sweet Lips you see
Attached to the cannon a key ring
So Jackie can hang on her key
If hope you will like it, its such a small thing
Unlike the real Sweet Lips it is just a key ring
It won't go off bang with a horrible clatter
So it will be no good to hide Jackie's chatter.
This holidays peaceful I'm happy to say
Theres no playing cards, nor no Jackie to play
No toffees I've bought, no wrappers around
The evenings are silent with never a sound
Tho' I think of you Jackie and wish you were here.
The thoughts made me think of a big can of beer
Now I've had a big drink and feel stronger a lot
So I'll say cheerio to all fellow Sealed Knot.
Roundhead.
I don't think poor Bert ever recovered from taking me on holiday!
Off to college Jackie does go
We wish you the best of luck you know
That college will never be the same
When you teach them about the Sealed Knot game
But do your best and never fear
You'll go knotting again next year
Remember the more you learn the more you'll know
The more you know, the wiser you'll grow
So do the best to improve your lot
With Best wishes from the Sealed Knot
Signed Mr Tearle Sept 1978.
This was the last one, written when I went to college in London in Sept 1978. I got a little tear in my eye when I read this before typing it out last night.
Page created by Jackie Hewitt. 24th March 2004.