'Oh honey I didn't get drunk. I just went into a strange fantasy world'
'Marge, this ticket doesn't just give me a seat, it gives me the right, no duty, to make a complete ass of myself.'
'The doll is trying to kill me and the toaster hates me
Bart: Well who's in there?
Homer: Oh, uh...Hitler's dog, and that Nixon dog, whasshisname, uh, Chester...
Lisa: Checkers
Homer: Yeah! And one of the Lassies is there, the mean one who eat Jimmy
'Losers! Losers! Kiss my big Springfield behind Shelbyville!'
Homer: But I don't want you kids to see me sitting on my worthless behind.
Bart: We've seen it Dad
'Twenty of the suckiest minutes of my life'
'Foul temptress! I bet she thinks that Ziggy has gotten too preachy Too!'
Marge: 'Go Crazy?'
Homer: Don't mind if I do!!!!!!
Homer: I'm a bad father!
Selma: and your also fat
Homer: And I'm also fat!
'I thought it was chocolate inside...Well why was it wrapped in foil?'
Ooh I love legitimate theater
MMMMMMMM FORBIDDEN DOUGhNUT
Marge: Homer Quit eating yourself!
Homer: OHhh but I'm so sweet and tasty
Kirk Van Houtten: ONe day your wife is making your favourite meal. The next day, you're thawing out a hot dog in a gas station sink.
Homer: Oh, that's tough pal, but it'll never happen to me.
O I always wanted to be a tea master. So lazy and surly.
Second class? What about social security, bus discounts medic alert and GOLD BOND(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) powder pants up to their armpits and all those other senior perks? O if you ask me old folks have it pretty sweet.
All right, I have thought this through, I will sent Bart the money to fly home. And then I will murder him.
Bart: I'll take up smoking and give that up
Homer: Good for you son. Giving up smoking is one of the hardest things you'll ever do. Have a dollar.
Homer: Beautiful, Good Night.
Hey if you want wild bears eatin your children and scarin away your salmon that's you're business. But I'm not gonna take it! Who's with me?!
Homer: We did the only humane thing possible; We chained Hugo up in the attic like an animal and fed him a bucket of fish heads every week.
Marge: It saved our marriage
I'm just saying why not have two geniuses in the family? Sort of a spare in case Bart's brain blows up
Sure, I might offend a few of the blue noses with my cocky stride and musky odors-o I'll never be the darling of the so called 'City Fathers' who cluck their tongues and stroke their beards and talk about'What's to do with Homer Simpson?'
I can't live the buttoned down life like you. I want it all! the terrifying lows the dizzying highs, the creamy middle
I wore my extra loose pants for nothing nothing!
Marge try to understand, There are two kinds of college students: jocks and nerds, and as a jock, it is my duty to give the nerds a hard time.
Mmmmm....incapacitating
The reason why I'm unhappy is that I have to see a slide show starring my wife's sisters, or as I call them, the gruesome twosome
I'm not a bad guy, I work hard and I love my kids so why should I spend half my Sundays hearing about how I'm going to Hell?
Homer to God
It says it's for dogs, but she cant read.
Lisa: Remember Dad, the handle of the Big Dipper points to North Star
Homer: That's nice honey, but we're in the woods not astronomy class
Hey wait a minute, you're that guy from TV. my son's hero, Cruddy, Crummy, Krusty the Clown
Uh, so let's have a nice normal conversation, you'll find that we have very little in common
Homer to Mindy Simmons
Don't go easy on each other just because you're brother and sister, I want to see you fighting for your parents' love
Space Aliens! Don't eat me I have a wife and Kids, eat them!
Marge, tell Bart I just want a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning
You know Moe, my mom said something that really stuck she said, 'Homer, you're a big disappointment' and God Bless her, she was really on to something
Lisa: So gambling makes a good thing even better?
Homer: My God Lisa, it's like there's some kind of bond between us
You're every where, You're omnivorous
Homer to God
Could this be the best day of my life?!
You know as crazy as this sounds, I'd rather have the sweet breath of my loving wife on the back of my neck, than stuff bills into some stranger's G-string
Kirk: What makes you guy's so special?
Homer: Marge and I have something that can never be broken: A strong marriage built on a solid foundation of routine
I can understand why they wouldn't let in those wild jungle apes, but whattabout those really smart ones who live among us, who smoke cigars and roller skate?
Homer on Heaven
Don't let Krusty's death bother you. People die all the time. Just like that. Why you could wake up dead tomorrow. Well good night
Stealing?! How Could you?! haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those boring services at church? Captain What's his name?
We Live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to see all those Police Academy movies, for fun? Well I didn't hear any one laughing did you?
Bart: What didyou do, screw up like the Beatles and say you were bigger than Jesus?
Homer: All the time It was the Title of our next album
Asleep at the Switch? I wasn't asleep I was drunk!
Hey let's do that 2000 pound man thing. I'll be Carl Reiner, and you be what's his face
