verbal diarrhea part III
Failing bastards
27 September 2003 -- I had some very brilliant revelations lately, but alas I have promptly forgotten them all. Instead I'll insert an anecdote that my professor once told from his experiences (which will probably only be funny to engineering brethren). A student, on an exam, was required to calculate the required width, say, of a structural column. Unfortunately his numbers did not quite work out, and the answer he obtained was something silly like 89 metres. And so referring to this titan-sized structure, the student wrote on his exam paper "Dear Professor: Although I may fail, this bastard will never fail!". He passed the course.
Dammit hurts
21 September 2003 -- Toe nails are eeeeevil.
Picky picky...
11 September 2003 -- The big wigs at Taco Bell would've gotten a huge kick out of my encounter with a rather cantankerous street kid yesterday. She was milling about an intersection, yelling at people "Can somebody spare some change! I'm hungry!!" As I passed the MacDonald's on the corner, she grabbed my arm. "Please sir, I'm hungry!!" I offered to buy her something from MacDonald's, but she persisted. "PLEASE I'm HUNGRY!" Again I repeated my suggestion, and then out of the blue she remarked "I want Taco Bell!!!" Egads!
Friends are good, food is better
7 September 2003 -- Mike and Mel are a beautiful couple, in every way. I rather wish there was a wedding to attend every week, because those midnight buffets are very much to my liking. Scrumptious! Hmmm now I'm hungry again.
Damn those buggers
31 August 2003 -- Bee in my bonnet? ... I'm a skater at heart, and so I look like a dork when biking with my skating helmet. So I was riding along and some insect comes flying at my head. The last time this happened, I ducked and the big bugger ricocheted like a pebble off the top of my head. This time, however, the bug's trajectory was perfectly aimed at one of the little vents on my helmet (there aren't many on skating helmets, mind you). After a few moments of hoping that it hadn't in fact managed to get inside, I started to feel a strange buzzing against my scalp. This story would be all the more interesting had I been riding in heavy traffic, but luckily it was quite a simple matter to remove my helmet and shake my head to and fro. I never did see the bugger, so who knows, perhaps I just imagined this entire dooboodeedahdah
No, let's drink gasoline
26 August 2003 -- And speaking of hydration - bottled water still often costs more than gasoline, despite the latter's price ridiculously barreling past 80 cents per litre of late. Rather interesting, I say, that people complain of paying a lot for gas, yet gladly shell out mountains of dough for stuff that falls from the sky. Smacks of consumerism, and glaringly.
On the subject of gas prices, well, it also comes back to consumerism. (Or...on the subject of consumerism, let's look at gas prices!) People driving 3-tonne monstrosities, supply and demand, blee blah blah... you know the drill. To those getting gouged for their $40+ weekly fill-up, I say hahahahaha! Let's raise those prices some more! C'mon, $2, $3 per litre? Fine with me! It don't matter to me one bit. That day is coming soon anyway, so might as well get used to the idea. My weekly commuting expenses average $11.40 for about 270km of travel, and will continue as such indefinitely. Meanwhile I will laugh as I watch the rest of you go broke. Forgive me, I'm not nice sometimes.
Drink more water!
22 August 2003 -- Speaking of weight - it's all about hydration sometimes. After 2 hours of dehydration-inducing walking during the blackout last week, I got home and discovered that I had shed 3 pounds. That's with a tummy full of dinner too. Then, over the next few days I somehow packed on 9 pounds. A lot of it, I think, had to do with the 5 litres of water I threw back after street hockey one day. (To put it in perspective, that's 20 cups, whereas most people don't even get the recommended 8 daily). That's 5kg (11 pounds!) of fluid for a day.
During one of my bike rides shortly thereafter, I was uncharacteristically sweating buckets and it felt wonderful. Really. Which indicates that I usually conducted my rides in a not-quite hydrated enough state. The moral of this tale? Was there supposed to be one? Well I guess if you need to artificially deflate your body mass for weigh-in purposes, do it through your (lack of) water intake. That aside, drink up!
Wow, that was a big one
21 August 2003 -- Have you ever weighed yourself before and after taking a dump? Curious?
Let there be...
15 August 2003 --
Fiat lux.
It wasn't all so bad. For the first time I can remember, I was able to walk home gazing at the Toronto sky filled with countless thousands of shiny, twinkling stars.
Hi my name is raynomd
<0 August 2003 -- Hahahahaha. I'm such a genius. Only just now did I realise that I don't know how to spell (examine above very closely). And of all things!
heheeeheeahahahohoowhoohoheheahaha
4 August 2003 --
Cool link.
I just had to jot it down somewhere before I forgot. Enjoy.
The truth about telling the truth
2 August 2003 -- You have a FAT ass. I'd expect to receive more than a few punches in the face if I went around pointing this out to applicable individuals. Why should they be insulted though? Such a remark is *not* an insult. It's just a statement of truth; no unfair judgement, no derogatory slurs, not a hint of slander. Even if I really am insinuating that something's wrong by calling you blubbery, it's because there really *is* something wrong. No, it's not an insult, just the same as if I were to call you a brat, a messy slob, or a liar. I'm merely pointing out something I consider to be a correctable fault. I repeat: *correctable*, otherwise it wouldn't be your fault, and I would never think or say a thing. I suppose to an extent that such things are coloured by my own opinions, but I'm entitled to that, no? And just bear in mind that in the end, you can't sue me for saying what's true, but I can sure sue you for punching me in the face.
What a relief
29 July 2003 -- Returning to the subject of cycling and private parts... I don't get pains from long rides anymore. Hopefully this is due to the nice anatomic saddle I installed some time ago, and not because I have lost feeling in my crotch. The latter option would be bad (or perhaps good, depending on your feelings about my ability to reproduce). Tick tock tick tock. It's like 0015h and I am oh so hungry, again. Must eat - I'm gonna try for 150km on my bike this week (did 135k last week... and yah it's puny compared to the Tour de France guys, but this ain't France).
yes
26 July 2003 -- Voiture vroom vroooom. Moo.
A day in Collingwood
14 July 2003 -- Ok thanks to Alex for taking me mountain biking on the weekend. And thanks to my great skill, I nearly managed to crush my weewee - the handlebars smacked me literally one centimetre above my crotch. Unlucky spill or lucky break?
Silky smooth
11 July 2003 -- Hahahaha. How bout spraying some iron oxides, propane, and n-butane (among other chemcials) on your legs? "Makes your legs very very beautiful." Sounds dumb? Well such is the claim of the
Air Stocking. Is this font too small?
Shame on you
03 July 2003 -- Three things to say:
(1) Happy belated birthday, Canada!
(2) I went out to see the Toronto Gay Pride parade this past weekend, and it was really fun, but that's not what I want to express. What really disturbed me was the amount of litter on the streets at the conclusion of the parade. Thousands upon thousands of water bottles and food wrappers were left all over the streets and sidewalks for the clean-up crews to deal with. It's a bit ironic if you think about, since littering is illegal, after all. Effectively, organisers hired clean-up crews with the expectation that people would be engaging in unlawful acts en masse. It was responsible on the organisers' part, but grossly not so on the part of Torontonians.
Here in Toronto we often like to say that we take pride in our city. But how proud can we be, when we simply chuck our trash on our neighbours' front step? I would've liked to have seen all the post-event garbage simply left out on the streets for people to step on and trip over. Sadly, however, instead of feeling shameful, I think this would just reinforce a ridiculous notion that it's okay to dump your waste anywhere you please. Last summer's municipal garbage worker's strike showed very glaringly that the residents of Toronto have taken for granted that others will pick up after them. Shame on you, Toronto.
So today, as a slightly less proud Torontonian, I make a plea to my neighbours in all parts of the city: just once in a while, why not pick up a stray piece of trash and deposit it where it belongs? Even just one such act of benevelonce every fortnight would make a great difference. If you consider Toronto to be *your* city, then let's treat it as such. It's time to raise the bar.
(3) I was going to write something intellectual here but I've run out of patience. Chugga chugga chugga chooo chooooo!
Don't be a fool
29 June 2003 -- Hmm you know what, this web page is so self-centred, so self-serving. Makes me seem like the belly button of the universe. And so I implore you to please click here to read more about me.
Great boggan creations
25 June 2003 -- 1:12AM I'm hungry. This reminds me of some of the marvellous creations I enjoyed as a patron of some charity barbecues in the past: particularly noteworthy is my "sausage cheeseburger". Basically you take your hamburger and use a yummy sausage - in its sausage bun, no less - as one of the condiments. Sausage toppings, sauerkraut, etc...they all go inside the burger too. Then top it off with a slice of cheese. Mm mm oh boy, you'll never go back to MacDonald's again.
So I'm not polticially correct
17 June 2003 -- "Two Wongs can make it white". Apparently Abercrombie and Fitch is getting sued over making a t-shirt with this little "racial insensitivity" printed on it. Personally, I think it's hilarious! Heck I'd wear one of those. But I guess I'm only allowed to laugh since I'm Chinese. I can understand how it'd look bad on a white dude, but hey, sometimes you need to have a sense of humour, eh?