Drunken Quotes!
Who doesn't love drunk people? who doesn't love what drunk people say!! Nobody!! except maybe deaf people... It's always fun to remember the times we had when we were drunk and now we can! if you have random drunken quotes, feel free to tell me
Now without further delay, here are the quotes! (all quotes are anonymous so as to protect the idiots who said them
*all names have been changed)

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Nice! Then i can fuck her and when I'm done, I can break her back over my knee!


Are you the bastard who came in while i was sleeping and creamed in my hair?


He's not drunk, he's just retarded pie


How many dicks have you sucked today?
five
How many were Mr. Black's*?
seven


I feel bad man! I dumped in another mans toilet, you dont do that man, you dont just walk into another mans house and take a dump in his toilet, if you have to take a dump you do it in your toilet man, I feel bad


I spat in his face, man!


I'm special ops, man, I can tip toe! I can whisper!


I think he saw a penis
was it his?
probably not


He doesn't need a dick, because he is a dick, it's a paradox, man!


The joke's on you, I'm sober!


I don't care! I've got alcohol!


Put your shirt back on!
Shirts are for losers


What did you just spit on me?
I don't know, let's check
(spit)
Fuck you!

My socks are black, watch out or they might steal something from your socks