What idiots talk about at work:

Conversation #1

Timothy Matlack buy me dinner
The Dan 5-9774 why
Timothy Matlack cuz you owe me 10 bones
The Dan 5-9774 no i dont
The Dan 5-9774 that was a fat fine
The Dan 5-9774 in fact u owe me 10 more bones
The Dan 5-9774 i fine anyone i live with that weighs more than me 10 buck a day
The Dan 5-9774 so actually u owe me like 1800 bones
The Dan 5-9774 but ill take 180 dinners
The Dan 5-9774 which might be enough for me to stop fining u
Timothy Matlack thats against the law
Timothy Matlack then im gonna start chargin you the ugly fine
Timothy Matlack its 11 bucks a day
The Dan 5-9774 dude i could draw a smiley face on my butt and walk on my hands and youd still owe me 11 bucks
The Dan 5-9774 so 21 bucks a day....
Timothy Matlack nah
The Dan 5-9774 hahah
The Dan 5-9774 cmon dude
Timothy Matlack im chargin you the peein with the door open fine
Timothy Matlack thats 17 per offense
The Dan 5-9774 well im charging u the "im jealous of my roommates ability to produce a solid stream while takin a squirt" fine
The Dan 5-9774 i dunno how much that is a day
The Dan 5-9774 but its alot
Timothy Matlack pretty soon you are gonna have to be giving me the "(hot chick)'s over all the time doing me" fine
The Dan 5-9774 i hope so
The Dan 5-9774 cuz shes fiiiiiiinnneeee
Timothy Matlack yea, ill let you watch if you want
The Dan 5-9774 i dont think so tim
Timothy Matlack well then maybe youll be alble to hear us
The Dan 5-9774 yea...
The Dan 5-9774 "but tim we just started!"
Timothy Matlack yea its a new thing im tryin, instant lovin
The Dan 5-9774 certain things are supposed to be quick
Timothy Matlack im i could even get to the point where shes sayin that, moral victory
The Dan 5-9774 like makin popcorn
The Dan 5-9774 not love
The Dan 5-9774 ive decided that this is a terrible conversation
Timothy Matlack yea its not really that good
Timothy Matlack its like watching murder she wrote in german
The Dan 5-9774 yea or watching the gilmore girls and not being able to make sweet love to rory gilmore
Timothy Matlack which is pretty much every night for you
The Dan 5-9774 dammit i know



... and Conversation #2

The Dan 5-9774 u still owe me todays fat fine
Timothy Matlack im sorry dan, with out a properly calibrated scale in our house to prove that i in fact weigh more than you, i will not be paying you
The Dan 5-9774 we're just gonna have to have a fat-off then
Timothy Matlack yea
Timothy Matlack tubby magee
The Dan 5-9774 bring it on lardy anderson
Timothy Matlack you are a whales ass
The Dan 5-9774 u ate a whales ass before your main course: a herd of rhinos
Timothy Matlack you stepped on the scale and it read "reallly way too fuckin fat"
The Dan 5-9774 you stepped on the scale and it screamed "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah"
Timothy Matlack i saw 3 fat kids in your closet, they were all wearing shirts that said "dan's lunch on tuesday"
The Dan 5-9774 i saw 3 elephants and they were chillin. 3 elephants saw u and they ran.... cuz they heard u once ate a million elephants
Timothy Matlack i was watching family feud the other day and they asked, name something that is really fat, dan story was the #1 answer, and you were somehow also fat enough to be the #2 answer
The Dan 5-9774 yea well i was watching animal planet the other day and u were on it humping a donkey
The Dan 5-9774 hahahahhaha
The Dan 5-9774 oh man i switched it up
Timothy Matlack yea so then you lose the fat off
The Dan 5-9774 fine but u lose the "i didnt hump that donkey" off
The Dan 5-9774 hahah
Timothy Matlack but anyway, i heard you went to the mall to sit on santas lap, now i gotta explain to the kids of the world why there isnt gonna be a christmas anymore
The Dan 5-9774 on the first day there was light, the second water, the third day tim farted and the whole earth fell out his fat ass
Timothy Matlack i heard that your belly will one day protect the planet from global warming
The Dan 5-9774 yea well i heard that when the earth runs out of natural resources it aint no big deal cuz everybodys just gonna pack up and move to yo fat stomach
The Dan 5-9774 im out
Timothy Matlack peac



there will be more idiotic work conversations to follow i am sure..........