My Journey To Motherhood

By Tracy

Hi! I am Tracy I am 33, and my husband, Doug, is 34 years old. We were high school sweethearts; we meet in the 11th grade and have been together ever since. He is my soul mate. W have four sons, Zachary (8), Jacob (7), and Matthew (3) and Lucas (7 months).

I am a stay-at-home mom, and my husband is a self-employed contractor.  Not long after we were married, we became pregnant by surprise. All was fine until I reached 10 weeks when we lost the baby due to a miscarriage. We were very sad but to be honest we were not ready to be parents and somehow I saw this as a good thing. We were young and we had a lot of time to have children. But it wasn't long after that I was ready to try again. In fact we immediately got pregnant in February of 1986.

All was going very well until one day (during my 22 week) while I was out running some errands. I felt like I was coming down with a stomach bug of some sort. I went to see my husband at the real estate office we was working at at the time and shortly felt the need to get home and lay down. On the drive home, I felt like pulling over may times but somehow I got home. I laid down and called my husband and told him that I needed him at home. By the time he arrived, I was in a lot of pain. I had no bleeding or anything to indicate a miscarriage from what I knew. We went to the hospital emergency room and while there, my water broke. I was taken into a room and an OB was called in. While in that room alone, I gave birth very quickly to a tiny baby girl that weighed only 15 oz. Just then the OB walked in and the baby was taken immediately to NICU. She lived for a short three hours. We were devastated at this loss! We were so sad in fact that we couldn't bring ourselves to name our daughter. She was born and died as Baby Girl and our last name.

We had no clue why this loss happened and so we never suspected that we would have to ever endure that kind of pain ever again. So when I became pregnant for a third time in November of 1987, we we nervous but expected this time to be different. The pregnancy went great, we had an ultrasound mid-second-trimester, and it revealed that we were expecting a baby girl that seemed healthy in every way. But the following week (week 22), I passed a large mucous clump. I called my OB's office worried, but I was told that it was normal. Since I had never passed a mucous clump like this with my previous pregnancy and I was not having any contractions that I knew of, I believed all to be well.

Five days later (at 23 weeks), I once again was experiencing something that felt like a stomach bug but I also noticed that I had a strange feeling in my vagina. I checked myself, and I could feel what felt like a water balloon in my vagina. We called my OB, and I was told to go directly to the hospital. When we got there, I had started my bloody show, but I was not feeling the contractions that were showing up on the monitors. I was transferred to a level III NICU hospital by ambulance should the baby be born. All that night I was given Magnesium Sulfate to stop the contractions that I still was not feeling.

At 1 pm a new OB came to see me, and he found me to be at 10 cm dilated. His words will forever stay with me, "I am so sorry but you are fully dilated, there is nothing we can do now." I lost all control because I knew what was about to happen. We were once again going to lose a baby. Baby Alicia Larren was born on March 19, 1988 at 1:05 pm weighing 15 1/2 oz and only 11". Like her sister, she lived for a very short three hours and right before she passed away, I was given the chance to hold her and say good-bye. She was perfect but so very, very tiny!!!

It was then that I learned what was causing the premature labor. I have an incompetent cervix that we can only relate to the D&C I had after my first miscarriage. It had been a very traumatic D&C that had weakened my cervix.

It was then that I decided I could not go through another loss, and we decided that maybe we not meant to have children. But in 1991 I was once again ready to try and had been told already about a procedure that could help me carry a baby to term. In July of 1991 when I became pregnant with our oldest son, Zachary, it was the cervical cerclage surgery that allowed me to carry him two weeks shy of his due date, and he was born on March 8, 1992, a healthy 6 lbs. 15 oz! We were ecstatic, our dreams had come true!!

Then six months later, it happened again while we were on vacation in Texas. I was once again pregnant. Happy but surprised, we had just relocated to Connecticut and had an infant that was very colicky, and I still hadn't lost 30 lbs. of the 45 lbs. I had gained while pregnant with Zachary. But once again we were blessed with the birth of Jacob on May 26, 1993, three weeks shy of his due date, weighing 7 lbs. 9 oz.

After his birth we thought we were done with the the building of our family. But on my 30th birthday and one week late with my period, I took a home pregnancy test, and it was positive. So, we were once again surprised!! I had had very irregular periods and the birth control pills obviously failed us, as I had been very good at taking them. But after some serious thought, we decided that with our history of losses, this was God's will to be pregnant again and on March 28, 1997 (Good Friday) after being on bedrest since week 29, Matthew was born at 7 lbs. 9.25 oz at 37 weeks.

He, unfortunately, was taken to NICU shortly after his birth; he was turning blue. It was determined the following day that he had a heart condition known as Patent Ductus Arteriosis. He spent six days in NICU. He has since had numerous echocardiograms and electrocardiograms and just a couple months ago, we found out that the PDA has cleared up itself. Surgery was no longer needed.

We decided to try once again in the Spring of 1999 and we quickly became pregnant. I had a McDonald cerclage placed at 14.5 weeks and all was going well until week 25 when I went for a regular OB checkup, I had been having some strong Braxton Hicks Contractions and I mentioned it to the doctor I was seeing that day, he sent me for an u/s that day and monitoring at the Perinatologist 's office. I was sent to the hospital to stop the contractions with a shot of Terbutaline after a few hours the contractions slowed down and I was kept over night, in the monring I was sent home with a weeks worth of Brethine and no further instructions. I called my OB and asked about where we go from here, he was so nonchalant about he whole thing it scared me. He said that he wasn't sure that I was in pre-term labor but only had pre-term contractions, I explained my concern with my previous history and this seemed to follow the same course. With no hesitation on my part I changed doctors and then continued my prenatal care with the Perinatologist that I had been seeing. I was given vaginal u/s that reveal my cervix had shortened to 1.3 cm and I was placed on immediate bedrest and Procardia to control my contractions. We continued this treatment with occassional increases in the Procardia unitl week 36. During that time it was discovered that my baby was frank breech.On Monday, November 22, we were scheduled for the "version" to try and flip baby into position. We arrived at hospital at 3:30 pm and had to wait in the main lobby until there was a room available for us in the birthing suites. Seems the looming full moon had things hoping there!

Once in the room we learn that we are also going to be induced after the version, no matter the outcome. Yeah!!! Good thing we brought the hospital bag with us. About 4:30 pm we had a room and the version was attempted, but no luck. Each time Dr. G. got him turned halfway, he'd flip back into his breech position. So it was decided that I'd be started on a slow pitocin drip, and we'd attempt a vaginal breech delivery. I slept all night with dh in the pull out couch next to me. In the morning my pitocin was increased and I still was not feeling contractions, except for some crampiness, period like. About 9 am I was checked, and to my surprise I was 7-8 cm and still having no contraction pain. Pitocin was increased again, now up to 45 ml an hour, started at 2 ml an hour the night before. I labored for another hour and now had to breathe through a few. But I was still able to laugh, talk, and sleep. And I was hungry!!! I had not had anything since lunch the day before.

At 10 am I was readied for delivery in the OR as he was still breech and we had to be in there in case of a c-section. Once in the OR we had a few minutes of panic; the baby's heart rare was not being picked up on monitor. It turned out to be a bad monitor. Phew! I was checked again and I was still at 8 cm and the baby was very high. It was also discovered that he was now in a Complete Breech position and not Frank Breech any longer. Dr. G broke my water to see if that would help bring him down but it only caused his feet to come down and the cord when we tried a few pushes. Dr. G said she was sorry but we would have to do a c-section. I told her whatever it takes to get him here safely. I was then prepped for the c-section, had a Spinal started and to my pleasant surprise, it went in painlessly.

At 11:49 am November 23, 1999 Lucas Benjamin came into this world weighing 7 lbs, 8.5 oz and 19 1/4". 17 days early! He had Apgar scores of 8 and 9. He was taken to be cleaned and warmed. Oh that first cry!! It was heaven, and I was in love!!! Doug left with him and I then received the Tubal Ligation surgery. This was the hardest hour, all alone... Doug and Lucas were together without me. But I knew Lucas was in good hands and Daddy deserved this time alone with him.

After Tubal and C-section was closed I was taken to Recovery for an hour. Another hour of torture and waiting. Finally at 2 pm I was wheeled upstairs to be with Daddy and Lucas. I was feeling good for about an hour when I started vomiting. I had a reaction from the Anesthetic and all that I tried to get down came back. I was given medication to stop the vomiting but it continued for a few hours. That first night I did not sleep well. Since Lucas was being breastfed the nursery had him only an hour before he was back to nurse. Slept maybe 2 hrs that night. The next day another fun reaction . . . Spinal Headache!! OUCH!!!! I was given a medication and large doses of caffeine. If those things did not work then we would have to do a blood patch. Luckily the medication and caffeine worked.

The next night Lucas went back to the nursery from 1 am to 6 am and had 1 oz of formula. It was that day that my milk came in, no engorgement. That was Thanksgiving Day, November 25, and the same day that we went home, one day early.

He is now 7 months old and we fell so BLESSED to have 4 healthy sons! Everytime someone see me with all for boys and sarcastically says "4 boys?? Oh God Bless you!" I answer them "Yes he surely did!"

You can contact Tracy at TABess@worldnet.att.net