Dreams Do Come True

By Laura

For as long as I can remember I always knew my future would include a family. Little did I know the pain I would have to endure to make this dream come true. I met my husband shortly after my high school graduation. I was 18, he was 19. We dated for 3 years and in April 1987 we married. Our future plans were carefully laid out, save some money, buy a house, start a family.

In 1990 we moved into our home. Then in 1991, logically we decided to start our family. After a few months of trying we found out we were pregnant! Our families were excited and so were we! I had recently started a new job but new that our plans were for me to be a SAHM. During my last week of work I noticed some unusual wetness but being naive I dismissed it as no big deal. A couple of days later I noticed a pink tinge in my panties and immediately called my Dr. She told me to come into the maternity ward at the hospital. After a pelvic examination it was discovered that my cervix had dilated and I was leaking amniotic fluid. On top of this I had a fever which indicated an infection. I was told there was nothing we could do but deliver the baby and that at 20 weeks the baby would not be able to survive. I was devastated and so was my husband. I was started on pitocin but after an entire day no contractions. I was taken to a private room but still, I could here the other babies on the floor and to make it worse they kept checking my babies heartbeat. During the night I had a dream of a blue angel. In the morning I felt a peace with the events that would take place. I was moved to labor and delivery and started on pitocin again. This time it worked. My beautiful baby boy, who we named Justin, was born on November 7, 1991. We buried him in the family plot with his grandma and grandpa.

I returned to my Dr. for a 6 week check after his birth. She told me that I had and incompetent cervix. I had never even heard of this. She said that if we tried again, she would put a stitch in my cervix at around 16 weeks to keep the cervix closed. We waited about 3 months and tried again! Got pregnant in the first month! Imagine my dismay when I saw Dr. and she advised a wait and see approach. My husband and I debated about changing doctors but we really liked the one we had. So we stayed with her. Then on July 15 I discovered that my membranes were bulging out of my vagina. I went immediately to the hospital. I had no contractions so I was put in bed with my head down, trying to get the membranes to go back in so a McDonald suture could be placed. I was in this position for 3 days! Then on July 18 1991 my water broke and later that day I delivered my daughter. I couldn't face the thought of another funeral for one of my children so we did nothing for her. Didn't even name her at the time. I now call her, Alyssa.

I thought my heart would never mend. I had buried two of my children in less than a year. I couldn't even think about having another baby. I would see babies in the store, at church, etc. and have to leave in tears!

A year went by and I started to feel the need to try to have our family again. I still couldn't imagine our lives without children in it! I started out by finding a new OB. He agreed that I was a candidate for the cerclage and gave me the go ahead to try again. This time it took a while to get pregnant. It was Christmas of 1993 when I discovered I was pregnant again! My OB said we would put in the stitches at 14 weeks. After the stitches I put myself on light duty as we called it! I did very little. At 32 weeks the stitches were removed. Everyone expected this baby to arrive any day! Imagine our surprise when I was 1 week over due! On August 18, 1994 I was induced and delivered a perfect little boy with red hair! We named him Jared Ryan!

In 1996 I started to feel that our family was not complete. Since we had no problems with Jared we expected the next pregnancy to progress the same. While we were thinking about trying again, God blessed us with an unexpected pregnancy! We could hardly believe it! My Dr. again put in the stitches and life continued. This time with a 2 1/2 year old I couldn't put myself on light duty. The pregnancy was continuing normally until the 30th week when I awoke to a wet bed. I called the labor and delivery suite at the hospital and was told to come in. When I arrived we discovered that I was leaking amniotic fluid. No contractions though and the baby's heartbeat was strong. Well, to make a long story short I was on bed rest in the hospital for 12 days! On the day that I was 32 weeks along I started having contractions! The doctor removed the stitches and labor progressed. On October 27, 1997 exactly 6 weeks early weighing 4lbs. 9oz. Shannon Elizabeth was born. She was perfect! The Doctor believes that the only reason she wasn't born sooner was because of the stitches! She had no problems at birth or after except for jaundice. She remained in the hospitals nursery for 11 days and I brought her home on my birthday! She is now a happy, healthy 2 1/2 year old!

I believe that because of my losses I am a better mother. I often remind myself that these are the children I prayed for and that God chose me to be there mother. Justin and Alyssa are angels in heaven but they gave me gifts that I cannot put into words.

I hope that this story will give someone else the courage to move ahead, to believe that their dreams can still come true and to offer hope to another mother who may find herself in a similar position. I wish I would have had this type of support during those difficult years! May God bless you all!