My big lil' page of social commentary.
Some critical, some nice, mostly sarcastic and occaisionally humorous.


Tues, June 24, 1997. The U.S. Air Force reported that ``space aliens'' who alledgedley crashed in the New Mexico desert 50 years ago were only aluminum and plastic test dummies used in high-altitude parachute drops; releasing a picture of replicas of these dummies:
It's a picture of clowns, get it? HA
One of the few living witnesses still insists he saw dead aliens put into body bags after their spacecraft crashed near the town 50 years ago. He was a civilian employee at Roswell Army Air Field in 1947 when he was sent to see what had crashed into a dry river bed.

''They were very good-looking people, ash-colored faces and skin ... about five feet five tall, eyes a little more pronounced, small ears, small nose, fine features and hairless,'' he said, adding that he saw military personnel place five corpses into body bags and remove them in jeeps.

The government, however, insists that people are miraculously mistaking these happenings for incidents that supposedly occoured in the mid 50's as well as with early Viking space probes such as this 1972 picture of a Viking space probe awaiting recovery in New Mexico:

?





All kidding aside, these are the dummies that the military recreated etc, etc:




Sat. July 26, 1997
Today I have come upon an amazing discovery.
I have discovered that the Russian space station Mir, recently holed by a run away space freighter, was not, in fact, harmed by the elder Russian Cosmonot as is rumored. It was in fact, run amuck by the creature you see here before you in this very image:



Click on for Full Image



Yes, this GREMLIN portrayed to be fought by such modern American icons as William Shatner and Bart Simpson has found his way to spread his havok across foreign waters and even into the vastness of outer space...
This DEMON, highlighted on the screen right this very moment is now terrorizing the fate of the entire planet.

This is where you can help, my fellow Americans:
We, as the people of Earth CANNOT stand for this. That is why I have founded

OPERATION PLEDGE RAID


Attempts in the past to corner this plague on humanity (and cartoon-dom) have lead to sorrow and failure.
No matter how often bad actors, cartoons, or exhausted Cosmonots yell that there's something on the wing (or what have you) no one believes them until it is too late. Once the ride is over, the creature has already left. When the next U.S. space shuttle is sent up to retrieve our Astronot on board the Mir, we plan to send a GIANT BOTTLE OF RAID up with it.
Like a pesky hornets' nest in the corner of your house this menace will be stopped!
Please give generously, thank you.

ALLPROCEEDSFROMSENTCREDITCARDNUMBERSWILLBEATTRIBUTEDDIRECTLYTOILUMNIKARLANDWILLBEKEPT
FORHIMSELFFORHISOWNSELFISHNEEDSILUMNIKARLREALIZESTHATIFHEDOESGETCREDITCARDNUMBERSHELL
GIVETHEMBACKORBEPROSECUTEDAND,OFCOURSE,IFTHEmirDOESCRASHHEWILLBEVIEWEDASAHORRIBLEHUMAN
BIENGFORWRITINGTHIS
thanks you



Tues, October 28, 1997



I was just looking at the back of a package of recently purchased Energizer batteries (the ones with the bunny) and I noticed a highlight that said:

For best performance:

Never mix types of batteries           There's some hidden message here... i don't think it's a nice one...


It is important that your batteries are installed correctly, observing the polarity (+/-) signs. Follow device instructions.           I have news for ya, Sparky: THOSE WERE THE INSTRUCTIONS!

This one's the kicker:

Do not incinerate

Thank you all mighty Bunny people!!!
This is truly a revelation handed down unto us by that wascally wabbit!
I could only wish for them to clarify if they meant before or during the installation of the batteries!
While I'm just going all nuttty here i just have one thing to say to all those people who tease the morning news in my local community nad possibly the ones throughout the world:
Please watch Today tomorrow at 7 on 5!

What!?


Now, I'm sorry, but i'm just a simple person who likes to sit back and enjoy some TV, sometimes i get confused by little things like batteries... but I really don't need this.