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They both died in my arms after I said my last goodnight to them - not goodbye. I held on to both of them on seperate occassions, in my arms, kissing and hugging them so they would not leave me but I failed. I told them of past times we had.The fun, the laughs, and all the love we shared and grew so much. How it hurt to say such things. I kissed her frozen cheek, cuddled up to her, wrapped my arms and hand around hers, craddled my head in her shoulder and we both felt our love surging even though no one spoke. I woke up 5 min. later with this tapping on my shoulder and a big need to vomit. I bolted up sideways on my elbow and looked at the pulse in her neck and saw no movement. I believe the tapping on my shoulder was her telling me that I can rest now for its over. To go get some real rest in my own bed for once. She passed away, in my arms, she waited for me to be with her as we were always and for years of her sickness. One of my best friend died that day. I craddled my dad in my arms for days as I knew, again, he will leave me also. I whispered constantly that it was okay to leave, to go to mama, that I will be fine here, and one day all of us will be together again, all the fun he will have, and how MUCH mama misses him. He did not want to leave me...nor did I want him to leave so, I held back the tears as much as I could, and held on for his life. I would tell him how much he and mama taught me and will continue to no matter what, how much I love them, and it / THAT will never end ... all he could do was muster a whimper. Yes, I knew what that whimper meant. Everytime I said I love you so much daddie. that whimper that took all his strength to make, came out just for me. I told him I know, I understand that he loves me so. There I was just finishing a kiss, extra tight squeeze, and whispering I love you so much daddie SO MUCH - and he left in seconds. I learned that love hurts beyond any words I could type here. ' The love of a parent for their child is stronger than a love from a child for a parent ' , my mama use to say to me for we always argued about this issue...She WAS wrong. I love you mama. I love you so much too daddie. My best friends always, ALWAYS!!! You have my broken heart with you in your hands ; I know you will keep it safe...it is yours and always was, and will be. LOVE YOUY ALWAYS. HUGE KISSES FROM YOUR kaTerina MY ANGELS. GOODNIGHT MAMA !!! GOODNIGHT DADDIE !!! |
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| November 10, 1934 - March 13, 2006 |