A Powerpuff Girls - Rowdyruff Boys story
By
Gary CurtisPowerpuff Girls created by Craig McCracken and all related characters owned by Cartoon Network.
TOWNSVILLE SKYLINE - DAYTIME
NARRATOR: The city of Townsville...
(Pan to Mojo Jojo's lair and down to the ground.)
NARRATOR: ...where those ever lovin' Powerpuff Girls have just given the big kiss-off to the evil Rowdyruff Boys...
(The POWERPUFF GIRLS are standing where the ROWDYRUFF BOYS exploded. BUTTERCUP is putting sticks in the ground and BLOSSOM is winding yellow tape around them, like at a crime scene. BUBBLES is kneeling on the ground, smiling with her tongue sticking out in concentration. She is drawing chalk outlines around the snips, snails and puppy dog tails. She is using different colors of chalk and she pauses to look at her assortment, trying to decide which color to use next.)
BUTTERCUP: (spitting) Ptt! Ptt! I can't get that taste off my lips!
BLOSSOM: (giggling) Aw, come on, Buttercup! It wasn't THAT bad, was it? (frowning as she sees what Bubbles is doing) Bubbles! Hurry up, we don't have all day!
BUTTERCUP: Yeah, dummy, it's a crime scene, not one of your stupid drawings!
(Bubbles ignores them and smiles. She rises in the air as the camera pulls back to show her happily pointing at her masterpiece. She has played connect-the-dots with all the little outlines and it looks like a big bunny.)
BUBBLES: I hope the professor gets here soon so he can take a picture!
BUTTERCUP: Oh, brother!
BLOSSOM: Bubbles, he's not coming to see your wonderful artwork, he's coming to get those ingredients so we can find out what made those boys so rotten!
BUBBLES: I know! Mojo used some nasty Chemical X!
BLOSSOM: (thinking) Hey! That makes sense! But, where did he get it?
BUTTERCUP: Yeah, he was in jail, wasn't he? I say we go pay that jailbird a visit!
VOICE: (off-camera) Oh, hello, Goils!
(Fast pan to the AMOEBA BOYS.)
NARRATOR: Oh, brother. The Amoeba Boys, the lamest brains in town! They've occupied cells their whole lives and they STILL don't know how to be good criminals!
(Camera is on all six.)
BUTTERCUP: The Amoeba Boys!
BLOSSOM: Oh, not now, guys! Can't you see we're busy?
BUBBLES: Heyyyy! What are YOU doing out of jail?
BOSSMAN: We escaped, copper! Hahahahaha!
JUNIOR: Yeah, escaped!
BUTTERCUP: Well, you can just turn around and...huh? How did YOU escape? You couldn't get out of jail if the Warden opened the door and said 'Scram!'
SKINNY: Hey, how did YOU know?!
BOSSMAN: (smacks Skinny) Shaddup, stupid!
JUNIOR: (also smacks Skinny) Yeah, shaddup!
BOSSMAN: Oh, no! We weren't fallin' for THAT trick!
NARRATOR: See? What'd I tell ya?
BLOSSOM: I can't believe you guys could escape on your own!
BOSSMAN: Oh, yeah, it was our best plan ever! We made 'em take us back to our cell so we could take a nap and when we woke up, we were out. Nothin' to it!
SKINNY: Yeah, Mojo Jojo's toilet overflowed and took us right out the winda!
BOSSMAN: (angry and sad at the same time) Shuddup, you joik! You just gave away our secret!
JUNIOR: Yeah, joik!
BUTTERCUP: Oh, brother!
BUBBLES: Well, you can just go back to jail!
(All three Amoebas grin evilly.)
BOSSMAN: Make us!
GIRLS: Sigh!
(There is a screech of tires off camera as a car skids to a stop. Pan to the left. PROFESSOR UTONIUM jumps out of the car with a look of worry that changes to happiness when he sees them.)
PROFESSOR: Girls!
(He is knocked down as they fly into him. They hug him, saying things to him rapidly over one another. The next begins to speak before the first is finished, so it sounds garbled, but it gives the impression that they are all saying the exact same thing.)
BLOSSOM: Oh, Professor!
BUBBLES: Professor, they were so mean...
BUTTERCUP: But we kicked their butts...
BLOSSOM: Only they were better than us...
BUTTERCUP: And they kicked ours...
BUBBLES: Until Ms. Bellum told us to...
BLOSSOM: Be nice to 'em and we kissed 'em...
BUTTERCUP: And they blew up...
BUBBLES: And 'sploded...
GIRLS: And we thought we were never gonna see you again!
(During the middle part of that sequence and while the speech continues, there is a fast pan to the Amoebas. They look disappointed.)
BOSSMAN: (crossing his 'arms') Gee, why can't we get 'em to knock US down like that?
(Pan back and finish sequence. The professor stands, lets go of them and pats them each on the head. They float off the ground and hover around him, forgetting all about the Amoebas.)
PROFESSOR: Girls, when I heard the explosion, I knew something terrible had happened. I turned on the TV and that's when I found out what Mojo had done, and it's all my fault.
GIRLS: Huh?
PROFESSOR: Bubbles, do you remember yesterday when that stranger called? It was a student who wanted to know how I made you but it turns out it was Mojo Jojo.
(They look shocked.)
BUTTERCUP: (angry) And you just TOLD him?
PROFESSOR: (grins sheepishly) Well, us geniuses have big egos and like to share what we know...
BLOSSOM: That's OK, Professor. Do you think you can find out what caused them to be evil and explode?
PROFESSOR: Yes, Blossom. They were so evil that your goodness was too much of a shock to them. It's like when matter and anti-matter meet. Whichever is the strongest wins.
BUTTERCUP: (grinning) Kissing...the final frontier!
(Her sisters point.)
BLOSSOM: Hey!
BUBBLES: I thought you hated it!
BUTTERCUP: (smug, arms crossed, eyes closed) So I lied! (opens her eyes and looks up at the professor) But Professor, how could Mojo make those guys and get bad Chemical X in JAIL?
PROFESSOR: I know that, too, Buttercup. All I did...
(Fade to a flashback scene. The professor dials the phone. Cut to MOJO JOJO in his cell in prison stripes. A GUARD steps into the scene and hands him the phone through the bars, then steps back.)
GUARD: Hey Mojo, you got a call!
MOJO: Hello?
(At this point a split-screen pops up, with Mojo and the professor having a conversation.)
PROFESSOR: Uh, hi, I'm calling from Townsville Community College, and I'm doing a report on the Rowdyruff Boys, and I was wondering...what exactly are those little boys made of?
MOJO: (remembering) Oh, well, the Rowdyruff Boys...let's see...snips... though it may be permissible to substitute snakes, which were not available to me at the time but it is just as well for I do not like snakes, although perhaps the formula may have been more successful had I substituted the snakes that I don't like and didn't have.
PROFESSOR: Uh, I'll put them both down. What else?
MOJO: Oh, of course. Snails, which were actually escargot. Maybe my day would have gone better had I instead eaten them. They looked pretty darn good.
PROFESSOR: (making a disgusted face, prompts) Was that all?
MOJO: Oh! No, you must add a puppy dog's tail, then wait until the witching hour, and finally, drop the ingredients into the cauldron, er, I mean, a prison commode containing Chemical X.
PROFESSOR: Excuse me, Mr. Jojo. How did you get Chemical X into your commode? (makes another face) Oh, wait, I just figured it out...
MOJO: (grins) Indeed!
PROFESSOR: Well, thanks!
MOJO: (holding up a finger) I also have a great recipe for Powerpuff Pumpkin P-
(The screen disappears, the flashback ends and fade into the present. The four are chuckling. Buttercup suddenly looks disgusted.)
BUTTERCUP: Egghhh. Those guys were made out of poop?
BLOSSOM: (shocked) Buttercup!
BUBBLES: Potty mouth!
BUTTERCUP: Bubbles, we KISSED them! That makes us ALL potty mouths!
BLOSSOM: I guess now we know what the X stands for.
PROFESSOR: (chuckles) No, Blossom, it doesn't. It's the same Chemical X that gave you your powers. It was whatever witching thingie Mojo used that made those boys evil.
BUBBLES: But if the Chemical X came from Mojo...
GIRLS: (putting their hands to their mouths) Ohhh!
BLOSSOM: Oh no! What about US?
(He begins walking toward where the Amoeba Boys are, near the Rowdyruff leftovers, still standing and watching them.
PROFESSOR: Not to worry, girls. All our household waste is treated first to remove any traces of Chemical X.
(The girls start to float over with him.)
BUTTERCUP: Good thing. I'd hate to think WE'RE the ones responsible for creating all those monsters!
(Blossom and Bubbles shake their heads, agreeing.)
PROFESSOR: Hmmm, maybe I ought to do the same thing with the prison toilets. Now, let's get those ingredients and go home and have some lunch.
(Pan to the Amoebas. They misunderstand.)
SKINNY: Lunch?
BOSSMAN: No fair! Them's PRISON escargot!
JUNIOR: Yeah! Snails!
(The Amoebas leap over the yellow tape in slow-motion effect, while the Girls try to stop them, also in slow-motion. Before they can be stopped, they gobble up all of the stuff from the ground. Next follows a rapid-repeat zoom shot on the Girls showing the shock on their faces. Then the Amoebas laugh.)
BOSSMAN: Youse snooze, youse lose! Get yer own lunch!
BLOSSOM: (furious, waving her hands) You IDIOTS! You destroyed EVIDENCE!
PROFESSOR: It's not THAT important, Blossom. We know everything that happened.
(But the Amoebas' eyes grow wide.)
SKINNY: (pointing at the yellow tape) Hey Boss? We did it! We just committed a REAL CRIME!
BOSSMAN: (twanging the tape, with a huge grin) Hey yeah! Looks like youse Powerpuff Goils are gonna have to take us in! But we ain't goin' without a fight, right, boys?
JUNIOR: Yeah, fight!
(The Girls cross their arms and trade glances. Their expressions change from scowls to evil grins. They turn their backs and float toward camera, smiling. The dismayed Amoebas call out to them as Blossom turns and looks over her shoulder.)
BLOSSOM: Sorry, Amoeba Boys. We made a mistake! You guys are doing the city a big favor cleaning up that mess!
BUTTERCUP: Yeah. Maybe we'll see if we can get the mayor to give you a medal!
BUBBLES: Tee hee!
BOSSMAN: Aw! Come back!
NARRATOR: Hahahahaha!! So once again, the Amoeba Boys' scheme to accidentally trip over a REAL crime is foiled by the Powerpuff Girls, and the day is saved!
(Just then, a rumbling is heard. The Girls spin around to look. The Amoebas begin to wobble and vibrate and they don't look well.)
NARRATOR: They're SO dumb! Huh? What's going on? I THOUGHT it was too early to end the show! It looks like the Boys' snack isn't sitting too well with them!
SKINNY: Ahhh, I don't feel good!
BOSSMAN: Darn rotten prison food!
JUNIOR: Yeah! * buuuurrp! *
GIRLS: Amoeba Boys! Are you OK?
(There is a blinding white flash. The Girls and the professor cover their eyes from it. Cut to a faraway shot as a mushroom cloud rises above the city skyline. Fade to white. Fade back to scene. It is silent. Pan along slowly to show the telescope on Mojo's domed observatory pointing down to the ground except the tip, which is pointing up. Trees are blown over. The Girls and the professor are sprawled unconscious on the ground. Their car is resting on its roof. The Amoebas are nowhere to be seen. The camera moves in on the Girls as they slowly come to. They open their eyes, rubbing their heads as they get to their knees. The professor does the same thing as he sits up.)
BUTTERCUP: NOW what happened?
BUBBLES: The Amoeba Boys 'sploded!
BLOSSOM: (frowning) Bubbles, sometimes I think you just LIKE saying that word!
BUBBLES: (sticking out her tongue) 'Sploded, 'sploded, 'sploded!
(Off-camera, child-like voices are heard, accompanied by sound effects of a collision and three grunts and two slaps):
VOICE #1: (O/C) Hey, watch it, clubfoot!
VOICE #2: (O/C) Yeah, clubfoot!
VOICE #3: (O/C) Sorry, Boss!
BLOSSOM: Well, don't say it again! Professor, what do you- huh?
(The four whip their heads around. Pan to (another repeat zoom) the Rowdyruff Boys floating in the air. Butch is in the center, with Brick and Boomer giving him scowls. They don't notice anyone else yet. Their voices don't have the meanness in them they had when first created. They sound like normal little-boy voices.)
BUTCH: Hey! We'se back!
BRICK: (grins) Hey, so we is! Let's see if we can get another smooch from them goils!
BOOMER: Yeah! Smooch!
(Pan to the shocked Powerpuffs and the professor. He is standing now and they are floating, arms at their sides and wide-eyed.)
BUBBLES: It's those Rowdyruff Boys again!
BUTTERCUP: Yeah. But they SOUND like the AMOEBA Boys.
BLOSSOM: Professor?
PROFESSOR: (scratching his head) Girls, there's only one possible explanation for this. The Amoeba Boys must have gotten some Chemical X into their systems somehow.
BUBBLES: Professor! They DID!
BLOSSOM: Yes! They told us they got caught in the flood when Mojo's toilet overflowed!
PROFESSOR: That explains it! They absorbed it into their cells, and by eating the ingredients, the Rowdyruff Boys were reconstituted!
BLOSSOM: Like grape juice?
BUTTERCUP: I'll make grape juice out of 'em if they try anything!
BUBBLES: (puts her hands to her chin with a sleepy-eyed look and a little smile) I don't know, they look pretty harmless...and cute!
BUTTERCUP: (scowls) They look stupid!
(Pan to Boys, who all share the same vacant gaze toward the Girls, dumb grins on their faces. Pan back to others, this time from an angle that shows the Boys in the background.)
BLOSSOM: So, what do we do now?
PROFESSOR: Well, I don't see the Amoeba Boys anywhere, so it may be possible that they've combined. They LOOK harmless enough, but that kind of stupidity inside super-powered bodies could prove more dangerous than they were before. Why don't you Girls try kissing them again?
(Bubbles doesn't need to be told twice. She begins to float right over. Blossom starts to go but Buttercup crosses her arms.)
BUTTERCUP: No way. I'M not kissing a toilet!
BLOSSOM: (grabs her arm and pulls) Since when do stinky things bother YOU? Now, pucker up!
(They float up to the boys.)
BRICK: Hold yer ground, boys, here they come!
(As the Girls begin to pucker up, the Boys turn their faces again and lean away. But at the last second, they whip their heads, pucker up themselves and get the Girls right on the lips.)
GIRLS: Yuck!
BUTCH: We got 'em good, this time!
BRICK and BOOMER: Yeah!
(Suddenly, the boys begin to shake and glow like before.)
BLOSSOM: It's working!
BUTTERCUP: Let's get outta here!
(But instead of an explosion, with a loud * pop * each Amoeba Boy flies out of the mouth of its respective host. (Bossman/Brick, Skinny/Butch, Jr./Boomer.) They start to fall but the Girls grab them and take them to the ground. The Girls take off, back to the sky.)
BUTTERCUP: G'wan, you guys, we'll deal with you some other time!
BUBBLES: We got those other boys to worry about!
BLOSSOM: (stops, turns, flies down to the car and rights it) Professor! Maybe you should go home, this could get nasty!
(She rejoins her sisters and they fly off after the Rowdyruff Boys, who have flown off themselves.)
(Pan to the Amoebas.)
SKINNY: Aw, come back!
BOSSMAN: Shaddup, you dope! Let's amscray before those goils come back and try to kiss us again!
JUNIOR: Yeah! Amscray!
NARRATOR: Oh, Boys, I think kissing is the LAST thing on the Girls' minds right now! Looks like with YOU out of their systems, those bad boys are back!
(Here would be a good place to break for a commercial. This looks like a half-hour episode at LEAST.)
(The Rowdyruff Boys fly straight at the camera after banking into the picture from the right. They have evil grins on their faces. After flying by, the Girls repeat the sequence, giving chase. Cut to a wider angle. The boys begin firing their lasers at buildings, blowing off the tops. The Girls fire their lasers at the boys, missing. Cut to a tight shot of citizens in the street running in panic. Pull back to show the Girls flying past a skyscraper and the Boys swooping from behind it, now on their tail.)
BUTTERCUP: (glancing behind her) I don't get it, Blossom!
BLOSSOM: (dodging a laser from Brick while Bubbles avoids one from Boomer) Kissing won't work anymore! It's like they WANTED us to kiss them!
BUTTERCUP: (dodging a blast from Butch) So they could get rid of those dumb Amoebas!
BUBBLES: (looking behind her) Girls! They're gaining on us!
Cut to a shot of the Girls being blasted and held in place in the sky by the Boys' lasers. They scream, and start to fall when the beams stop. The Boys grab them by the dresses with one hand and rain punches on them, then hold them out and kick them like a punter does. The Girls each crash through a skyscraper and make craters in the street. Cut to a shot looking down into the holes as people creep closer to look down. Move in closer as the Girls struggle to get up.)
BUTTERCUP: Uh...I'm still worn out from this morning...
BUBBLES: It's no use...if being nice to them won't work anymore...
BLOSSOM: We're finished...and so's Townsville.
Camera pulls away from their sad faces as they grow smaller, and then stops on the Boys, high-fiving each other in mid-air.
BOOMER: That was easier than I thought!
BUTCH: Heh heh, yeah! They ain't getting up, are they?
BRICK: Then, I guess we'll just have to go down there to finish this, won't we? Come on!
(They zoom toward the street, while horrified citizens back away from the craters.)
NARRATOR: Oh no! If love conquers all, it picked a bad day to call in sick! Are our Girls really finished for good this time? Oh...oh, I can't look!
(Cut to under the street. The girls are sitting up.)
BLOSSOM: Girls, we have to stay away from them for now. Maybe Ms. Bellum will have another idea...
(Pan toward a tunnel running underground away from them.)
BUTTERCUP: (off camera) Let's try to escape underground. We know it better than they do.
(Pan back to Girls.)
BLOSSOM: Good idea. I don't hear them out there...
(The Boys' incoming whine is heard. They jump up.)
BUBBLES: I do! They're coming!
(Before they can go anywhere, the Boys are down there with them, but standing off to one side, arms crossed, looking very pleased with themselves.)
BRICK: Had enough yet?
BUTCH: Admit it! We kicked your butts good!
BLOSSOM: (small grin) Uh, excuse us for a sec, OK, guys?
(A tight shot on the girls, with the Boys in the background scratching their heads. The Girls whisper.)
BUBBLES: Why aren't they attacking?
BLOSSOM: Maybe that's what they want, for us to admit defeat!
BUTTERCUP: No way. I'll never do that!
BLOSSOM: Wait, Buttercup, maybe we should play along. They'll expect us to keep fighting, and when we don't, they'll be surprised!
BUBBLES: Then we can surprise them!
(Her sisters give her an annoyed look.)
BUBBLES: Sorry.
BUTTERCUP: Oh, OK, but the second they start some victory dance, I'm poundin' 'em!
(Shot is now on all six as the Girls straighten up. They put on false smiles.)
BLOSSOM: Okay. You win!
BUTTERCUP: Yeah, heh heh, you guys sure are tough!
BUBBLES: Yeah, you were just too much for poor little us.
(The boys are all smiles.)
BOOMER: (holds his arms out wide) Then slide on over here and give us a big, fat, wet one!
GIRLS: (shocked) What?!
BUTTERCUP: (making 'fists', much to the Boys' dismay) Why, you!
(Blossom shoves Buttercup out of the way, takes a step closer and the Boys shrink back.)
BLOSSOM: You destroy Townsville and...
(Bubbles shoves HER out of the way, with her 'hardcore' look.)
BUBBLES: And you meanies expect us to KISS you?!
(The Boys are cowering under the angry stares and smiling nervously.)
BRICK: Uh, yeah.
BUTCH: You did before.
BOOMER: What's the problem?
GIRLS: (screaming) YOU'RE CRAZY!!
(They zoom out of the hole, leaving three perplexed Rowdyruffs. Butch looks askance at Brick.)
BUTCH: Dude, I am NEVER gonna understand girls.
NARRATOR: Man, I'm just as confused. It seems the Rowdyruff Boys have been bitten by the love bug and now it's the Girls who want no part of it!
(Cut to the street. The Girls are standing in a semi-circle, looking VERY angry. The Boys float out of the hole, looking confused and contrite. Brick is holding his baseball cap in front of him demurely.)
BLOSSOM: (tapping her foot) Why, the nerve of those guys! I mean, REALLY!
(They sense the Boys behind them and they spin, scaring the Boys back some.)
GIRLS: YESSS?!
BRICK: What'd we do?
BUTCH: Yeah. We don't get why you're so mad.
BOOMER: I mean, you kissed us before so I don't see what the problem is.
BRICK: (explaining) Yeah. We do bad stuff and beat you girls up, and then when you've had enough, you give us smooches!
BUTCH: (smiling) Yeah! It's great! I even forgot where I was there for a while!
BOOMER: (shivers) Made me feel all tingly!
(Blossom and Buttercup couldn't be any more shocked, but Bubbles sees Boomer grinning right at her and giggles and bats her eyes coyly. Blossom yanks her into another group discussion.)
BLOSSOM: Bubbles! Stop that!
BUTTERCUP: (glances briefly at a grinning Butch) Blossom, what the heck's going on?
BLOSSOM: Girls, I think I've got this figured out. I don't think they're evil anymore.
BUBBLES: Me too! I don't think they're so bad after all!
BLOSSOM: They just don't know any better!
BUTTERCUP: Well, I'll teach 'em, all right.
BLOSSOM: No, let ME handle this.
(They face the boys.)
BLOSSOM: Look, guys, things don't work like that. If you want people to like you, you can't go around doing bad things and hitting people and stuff.
BRICK: We can't?
BUTCH: Then what's the point of having all these awesome powers if we can't use 'em?
BUTTERCUP: Ah, but you CAN! You guys never heard of monsters?
BOOMER: No, what're those?
BUTTERCUP: (in her glory, making hand gestures) They're these big, nasty-
BLOSSOM: (shoving her aside) Buttercup! Not now! Now look, guys, we use our superpowers to HELP people.
BUBBLES: (still looking at Boomer) Yeah! We STOP bad guys when they do bad stuff.
BRICK: How do you do that?
BUTTERCUP: Simple. You see somebody do somethin' bad, you make 'em stop.
BLOSSOM: Don't listen to her. You should always ASK them to stop, then tell them, THEN make them. But you guys don't know yet what's right and what's not.
BUBBLES: Neither did we at first, so we had to wait for the mayor to call us.
BUTTERCUP: Except you guys might not have to wait for the mayor! Look!
(An alarm is heard. Pan across the block to the Townsville Bank being robbed. Two masked men run out, holding pistols and moneybags, and run away from the 'Puffs and 'Ruffs. A getaway car, both passenger doors open, comes screeching around a corner and stops and the two robbers hop in. It speeds away.)
BLOSSOM: They're getting away!
(The Girls take off, leaving the Boys standing there. Brick looks at his brothers.)
BRICK: I think we can handle those clowns!
BUTCH and BOOMER: Yeah!
(They zoom after the Girls, blowing right by them, leaving them spinning and coughing, and dazed on the street for a second. In amazement, they watch Boomer use his lasers to melt the rear tires and the wheels screech and throw up sparks. Butch gets in front of the car and simply lets it hit him, and he makes a V in the hood. The robbers and their driver are thrown through the windshield, yelling their heads off. Brick collars them with one hand and grabs the loot with the other. His brothers join him and start pounding away as a cheering crowd begins to form. Cut to the Girls floating nearby, smiling at what they see.)
BUTTERCUP: Boy, they learn fast!
(Cut to the boys. The robbers are holding up their hands.)
BLOSSOM:(off camera) Yeah, they sure do!
ROBBERS: Stop! OK, we give up!
(When the boys hear that, they stop punching and each boy plants a kiss on the cheek of one of the bad guys. The shocked robbers run away screaming.)
GIRLS: (off camera) Noooooo!!!
(Cut to the Girls and Boys flying away from the scene. The crowd is laughing hysterically at them. Bubbles has her hands over her mouth and the Boys are red-faced and spitting.)
BLOSSOM: (holding her head and shaking it) How embarrassing!
BUTTERCUP: You dummies! You don't kiss the bad guys!
BUTCH: (spits) I guess not! Man, that gave me the creeps!
BRICK: (spits) Yeah, but now I'm confused. Where does the kissing come in?
BLOSSOM: (momentarily loses it) Forget about the kissing! I'll explain what that was all about later, but for now, just worry about stopping the crooks, OK?
BOOMER: OK! You don't hafta get mad!
(The whole scene shakes. All around them as they fly, buildings tremble. They all stop. Everyone looks surprised except Buttercup, who looks ecstatic.)
BOYS: What the heck was THAT?
BUTTERCUP: A MONSTER! All right, this is the really GOOD part of being a superhero!
(Pan to the right as everything is shaking and the sound of stomping is getting louder. It's the monster from 'Three Girls and a Monster', or his older, bigger brother.)
BOOMER: Awesome! We get to fight THOSE?
GIRLS: Uh oh.
BUTTERCUP: Maybe this one ain't the best to learn on.
BRICK: What's THAT s'posed ta mean?
BUTCH: (grinning) Is this how you girls psyche yourselves up?
BUTTERCUP: (angry) Shu-
BLOSSOM: (stepping in, covers her mouth) What she means is, that for THIS kind of monster, we have a very special attack that we can't let you see yet. It's too DANGEROUS for a BEGINNER to try. So cover your eyes and don't peek!
(So they do.)
BLOSSOM: (whispers) OK, Bubbles, ask it to leave.
(Bubbles smiles and flies away.)
BLOSSOM: This shouldn't take long at all.
BUTTERCUP: Heh, hardly worth showing up for.
(There is a loud scream from Bubbles, and they all look, as camera pans to her. The monster has her in one fist, but not for long. She becomes a speeding missile coming right toward them, her pigtails trailing out behind her. Boomer picks her cleanly out of the air and turns her loose.)
BOOMER: (grins at her) Hardly worth showing up for, huh?
BUBBLES: Uh, it didn't work this time.
BUTTERCUP: Well, this'll work!
(Off she goes.)
BLOSSOM: Buttercup, wait!
(Off she goes. Follow her as she catches up.)
BLOSSOM: Buttercup, just hitting it won't work! We tried that already!
BUTTERCUP: I know! I just didn't want those guys to see us standing there without a clue! Maybe the six of us can do something with this thing.
BLOSSOM: Oh, good thinking. I hope you're right, because here they come!
(A red, green and blue streak blows past them. Bubbles pulls up alongside them.)
BUBBLES: I hope they know what they're getting into!
(They watch as the Boys fly up to it and stop. Its eyes get bigger as it seems confused by seeing boys instead of girls. It looks around and sees a building that says 'Townsville Optical' at the top in big letters, and grabs the huge display eyeglasses off the roof. It balances them on its nose, takes them off and rubs them on its chest, then puts them back on. It gives a huge shrug, turns around and starts to walk out of town.)
GIRLS: What the?
(The Boys fly back to them, all big smiles.)
BLOSSOM: What did you guys do?
BRICK: We asked it to stop, just like you said we should always do first.
BOOMER: (smirks at Bubbles) Worked better than your 'secret' did!
BLOSSOM: (very happy) You remembered!
(She gives Brick a big smack, then realizes what she just did, putting her hands to her face.)
BLOSSOM: Ooops!
BRICK: Oh, I get it now! Kissing is a reward!
BUTCH and BOOMER: Hey, don't we get one, too?
(Bubbles and Buttercup have no choice. Bubbles doesn't seem to mind THAT much, but Buttercup scowls at Blossom. The Boys, with their eyes shut, don't notice.)
(Cut to the six flying over Townsville. The Boys are slightly ahead and look very happy. The Girls are behind them.)
BOOMER: Man, I can't WAIT for the NEXT monster!
BUTCH: Yeah, but I hope they're not ALL that easy! I wanna HIT something!
BRICK: Word!
(They fly forward out of view, leaving the shot only on the Girls.)
BUTTERCUP: Thanks a lot, Blossom. Some explaining THAT was!
BLOSSOM: I know! But I'll straighten this out right now!
BUBBLES: Blossom, look!
(Pan to a huge apartment building fire that is raging out of control.)
BLOSSOM: Ohhhh! Sorry, girls, it'll have to wait. (points) Guys! Fire! Let's roll!
(They all fly off to put out the fire.)
NARRATOR: (speaking over the following MONTAGE) And wouldn't you know, today turns out to be one of the worst on record, and Blossom never gets the chance to explain. She's too busy doing something else, and it ISN'T fighting crooks or monsters. (snicker) Go, Girls, go!
(When the fire's out, before the Girls can tell the Boys they aren't getting their reward, a huge foot stomps down near them. But the Boys won't budge until they get their kisses. The same follows each disaster, as one comes on the heels of the next, with no time in between. Each time, the Boys smile and hold up their hands as if to say, 'No, WE'LL take care of it!', and the Girls can only float, watch and give the Boys their 'rewards'. Blossom gets an angry glare from Buttercup at not being able to fight, and Bubbles seems to be getting increasingly tired of it. All Blossom can do is shrug as they fly off to the next emergency. After the one-horned purple monster is taken down by the Boys, it's the bank again, then the jewelry store, then the Gangreen Gang, spraying graffiti, smiling sheepishly until they see the Boys, then running like mad but getting spray-painted themselves. Then there's a whole sequence of monsters going down left and right, to the Boys' savage display of kicking, punching and eyebeaming. The MONTAGE ends with the sun starting to go down.)
BRICK: Well, that looks like all of 'em. How'd we do?
BLOSSOM: Uh, great!
(Buttercup and Bubbles are forced to go along but don't look happy with her about it.)
BUTTERCUP: Oh, yeah, just great!
BUBBLES: Yeah, not bad for beginners!
BUTCH: So what're you waiting for?
BOOMER: Yeah! We did OUR job, now you do YOURS!
(The Boys pucker up.)
BUTTERCUP: (angry) That's IT! No more! (she flies away)
BUBBLES: I'm going home! (she flies away)
(Blossom is left facing the Boys, who look confused.)
BLOSSOM: Look, guys, it's been a long day and we're tired. We just wanna go home. You can follow us. (she flies away)
(The Boys look at each other and shrug.)
BOOMER: THEY'RE tired?
BUTCH: Man, WE did all the work!
BRICK: Hey, maybe they're just pretending to be mad! Girls do that kinda thing.
BOOMER: (chuckle) Hey yeah, maybe they're gonna cook us a big supper or somethin...
BOYS: (all) Let's go!
(They take off and camera zooms ahead to the Girls, who don't look like cooking is what they have in mind.)
NARRATOR: I don?t know about that, Boys. The only thing served up by our Girls when they're this upset is knuckle sandwiches! And they aren't the only ones who are upset.
(Cut to Townsville Prison, then to a cell holding Mojo Jojo. He's wearing prison stripes again and is watching the Girls and Boys on a TV screen. At the top of the screen are the words 'Boys return...for Good!')
MOJO: Curses! Those imbecile Amoeba Boys have recreated my greatest creations into imbecilic recreations! And now the Powerpuff Girls have turned them into spineless, do-gooding, lovesick puppy dogs!
(Cut to Mojo's commode, with fumes rising from it.)
MOJO: (off-camera) Everything those accursed Powerpuffs get their hands on comes out smelling like a rose.
(Cut to Mojo.)
MOJO: (gripping the bars with an evil grin) But they will find out that these roses have thorns! For I, Mojo Jojo, will reclaim my sons and turn them into the evil little...oh, wait, this is a children's cartoon. They will once more be doing the vile and despicable deeds for which I created them to be doing, and they will do them! (maniacal laughter)
(Cut to the Girls landing in front of their house and the Boys landing right behind them, just as the sun finishes setting and the moon pops up, cartoon-style. The six float through the front door of the Girls' house.)
NARRATOR: And so our weary Girls return home with their new pupils...I wonder how the professor's going to react to that?
(Cut to inside. The Professor sees them and looks excited.)
PROFESSOR: Boys! That was unbelievable! You sure don't need the training the Girls did when they were first born!
(He gets a dirty look from the Girls but doesn't notice. The Boys float around him, all smiles.)
BOOMER: Hey! Nice digs!
BUTCH: Yeah! Can we hang out here? It's better than Mojo's pad!
BRICK: But he's in jail, so do we call YOU Pops now?
PROFESSOR: (chuckles) No, you can call me Professor. And you boys can stay for as long as you want. Come on with me, I've got just the place for you!
(They leave the scene. Buttercup and Bubbles turn their angry glares on Blossom.)
BUTTERCUP: This is just great, Blossom!
BUBBLES: Yeah! My lips are about to fall off!
BUTTERCUP: (looks at Bubbles) My lips are the ONLY thing that got a workout. I didn't get to hit another thing all day!
BLOSSOM: I'm sorry, Girls! I didn't mean for THIS to happen. Those boys are taking over, like we're only good for one thing!
BUBBLES: (frowns) Yeah, to make them happy.
BLOSSOM: We HAVE to put a stop to this!
PROFESSOR: (off camera) Girls! Come quick!
(They looked shocked.)
GIRLS: Professor!
(Pan to the professor, sticking his head out of the door to his lab. He looks happy.)
PROFESSOR: Girls, you've gotta see this! This is amazing!
(Cut to the lab. The professor stands, indicating with pride. The Girls float near him.)
PROFESSOR: All I said was there were a few things I needed to do to make a place for the Boys to stay, and look! It's all done!
(Cut to Boys' location. They float, arms crossed and proud. Behind them, a section of the lab is now their 'room'. There are three single beds with each of their names carved into the wood headboard. The space is decorated like a typical young boy's room would be, with nothing 'girlish' in sight. Toys suitable for boys are on the rug. The bedspreads are the corresponding red, green and blue. A Periodic Table of the Elements hangs above Brick's bed, a wrestling poster above Butch's and a crayon drawing of a monster above Boomer's.)
BRICK: So, whattaya think?
(Pan to others. The Girls are very surprised.)
BLOSSOM: Wow!
PROFESSOR: Aren't they something?
(Pan to Boys.)
BUTCH: Did we do good enough to get a reward?
(Pan to others)
PROFESSOR: I'd say so. What special reward do you Girls think the boys deserve for being so good their first day with us?
(Pan to Boys, with big smiles.)
BOOMER: Oh, I think they know!
(Pan to others. The Girls slump dejectedly as they begin to float over.)
GIRLS: Sigh!
NARRATOR: Don't worry, Girls, you'll be able to kiss this day goodbye pretty soon.
(They give the camera a dirty look.)
(Cut to Girls' room. They are in bed and the professor is sitting on Bubbles' edge, on the right. Blossom is in the middle and then Buttercup.)
PROFESSOR: Well, Girls, you've done a wonderful job so far showing the boys how to be good superheroes, except for this thing with the kissing. It's just not right for girls your age.
BUBBLES: We know, Professor.
BUTTERCUP: (frowning at Blossom) It's Blossom's fault! She taught 'em it was a reward for saving the day!
BLOSSOM: But it was an accident, Professor!
BUBBLES: And fun, for a while! But I don't wanna kiss no more boys.
BLOSSOM: Ugh. What DID we see in that?
BUTTERCUP: THEY sure like it, though.
PROFESSOR: (stands up, chuckling) Well, it's easy to see how someone could get addicted to you three little angels. But I think I can fix this problem, so go to sleep now.
(Thinking all is fine, they close their eyes and smile as the light goes out.)
NARRATOR: I sure hope so, Professor! The Girls don't need THESE beaus in their hair.
(Cut to the computer training room, where the Girls practice fighting monsters. The Girls and the professor are in the control room. The Boys are on the other side of the glass looking at them, their faces pressed against the glass.)
BUTCH: We get to fight monsters without leaving the house? Radical!
PROFESSOR: Yes, Boys, this is where the Girls have learned to be such good crimefighters.
BUTTERCUP: Yeah, some of my best work has been splattered against those walls!
BLOSSOM: (frowns) Why do you always have to be so gross? (looking in at Boys) Brick, this is a great way to learn strategy in dealing with the criminal element.
BRICK: (smiles) Strategy! Now you're talkin'!
PROFESSOR: Now, Boys, the Girls will be in there with you, in case you need any guidance.
BUBBLES: (smiling at Boomer) And to reward you!
(They all smile at that and the boys move away from the glass. A tight shot on the professor and the Girls, looking up at them as they stand in a circle.)
PROFESSOR: Now, Girls, the minute they're distracted...
BUBBLES: ...we slip out...
BUTTERCUP: ...and our computer simulations take over!
BLOSSOM: And those boys will be so sick of kissing, they'll never want to see us again!
BUTTERCUP: And we'll be back to being the only superheroes around here!
BLOSSOM: But Professor, what will we do with them?
PROFESSOR: I think we can find a suitable home for them, but first, let's get them ...cured.
(They all share a conspiratorial chuckle, and fade.)
(Next follows a time-lapse sequence of them watching as shadows of the unseen fights flicker on the walls and themselves, and glowing and flashing comes from the room through the glass. First, as the wall clock reads 9:00 A.M., everyone seems very attentive, and the girls seem awed. At 10:30, Buttercup leans on the control panel, on her elbows; Blossom is watching but yawns, Bubbles is on the floor drawing and the professor is reading the paper. At 12:15, Blossom and the professor are playing cards, Bubbles' eyes are nearly closed as she leans against the wall, and Buttercup's head is tilted forward against the glass. At 2:30, they are all sound asleep, snoring with their mouths open. Then, a bright glowing starts coming through the glass and they wake up with a start. The professor jumps up.)
BUTTERCUP: (glancing up at the clock) Whoa! They're still at it!
BLOSSOM: (tears off and scans a printout from the computer that is yards long and folded under itself) Professor! They've saved Townsville for a whole year!
(Bubbles' face is pressed against the glass and her wide-eyed look is reflected back. The professor is looking at the controls, alarmed. He starts turning dials and throwing switches.)
BUBBLES: They don't SEEM to be sick of us...
PROFESSOR: Girls! It's going to overload! Get them out of there!
(The Girls jump up and fly out. There is a huge explosion. Fade out, then back in, to outside the ruined room. The professor stands there while the six children float. All are blackened and their eyes blink through the soot.)
BUTCH: Guess we don't need any more training, huh, Professor?
PROFESSOR: Not until I can build a new one.
BRICK: It was a good thing we got you Girls out of there in time, or you coulda got hurt!
BLOSSOM: But, you didn't-
BOOMER: (grinning) Yeah! Aren't you gonna thank us?
GIRLS: Groan!
BUTTERCUP: (looks at the professor) NOW what?
(The doorbell rings and the Girls look VERY relieved.)
GIRLS: I'll get it!
(They streak away.)
NARRATOR: Ah, saved by the bell!
(Cut to the front door. The Girls float as Blossom pulls the door open. The Boys are right behind them. Magically, they are all cleaned up. (How does that always seem to happen?) When the door is opened, standing there, with another one of those rapid zoom shots, is Mojo Jojo, wearing an angry look.)
GIRLS: Mojo Jojo!
BOYS: Pops!
MOJO: Indeed, it is I, and I have come to reclaim my sons! I heard that you boys were recreated and doing many good things, which I did not create you to do, so you will immediately come with me and help me to take over Townsville or you are all grounded!
GIRLS: Not so fast, Mojo Jojo!
(The six fly at him, as he puts up his hands in shock. Then the boys screech to a halt. The Girls float, speechless, watching this next exchange. Their heads move back and forth between the Boys and Mojo.)
MOJO: Excellent! Now, finish destroying the Powerpuffs that you didn't finish destroying!
BRICK: Uh, we can't.
BUTCH: Yeah, if we do, then they won't kiss us anymore.
BOOMER: And besides, you're evil and stuff.
BRICK: And being good is more fun. And so is beating up bad guys!
BUTCH: Even IF it's our old man!
(The Boys start pounding on him.)
MOJO: No! I order you to stop! Ow! I am your... Oof...father! I am giving you one more...grunt...chance.
(He is now a lump in the doorway, looking like he usually looks when the Girls beat him up. He groans. The Boys all of a sudden look sorry for what they've done and start to help him up. The Girls see this.)
BLOSSOM: Uh, oh, Girls, they're feeling sorry for him.
BUTTERCUP: Oh, I don't wanna, but I guess we're gonna have to.
GIRLS: (all, batting their lashes at the Boys) Oh, Boys?
(They and Mojo look over.)
BLOSSOM: Aren't you forgetting something?
BOYS: (dropping Mojo): Oh yeah!
(The Boys get their rewards and Mojo jumps up.)
MOJO: That is it! I am disowning you! You are disowned! That means you are no longer my sons!
(Pan on Mojo as he stalks off and climbs into his Robo-Jojo.)
MOJO: I brought you into this world and I will remove you from it!
(He blasts off. Cut to the Girls and Boys.)
BRICK: You hear that? We're orphans!
BUTCH: Yeah. I'm all broken up over it.
BOOMER: (grins, spreads his arms) I need a hug!
GIRLS: Groan!
(Cut to the hotline ringing on the living room table. The six all fly to it and Blossom answers.)
BLOSSOM: Yes, Mayor? What? Mojo Jojo has constructed a giant Rowdyruffo Destructo ray? We're on it!
BUTCH: Man, I guess he's really mad at us, huh?
BLOSSOM: Let's roll!
(As the Girls take off, each Boy grabs his counterpart.)
BRICK: We'll handle this!
BUTCH: We're startin' to think this superhero stuff is too dangerous for you Girls.
BOOMER: Yeah! A woman's place is in the home!
BOYS: See you tonight!
(They fly off after Mojo. The Girls stand there in shock. Then, Brick pokes his head through the door.)
BRICK: (grins) Oh yeah, after you clean our room and make our beds, could you make sure-
(Fade out.)
(Cut to the Girls sitting glumly on the living room couch, watching TV.)
ANNOUNCER: And so Townsville's newest heroes put yet another evil monster out of commission, and we can all rest assured knowing the Powerpuff Girls are home, safe and sound, without a mussed hair on their pretty little heads.
(Buttercup angrily aims the remote at the TV.)
BUTTERCUP: Oh, shut up!
(She crosses her arms and scowls at Blossom.)
BUTTERCUP: (snidely) My plans ALWAYS work!
BUBBLES: Not only won't they let us fight crime, but NOW they expect us to be their SERVANTS!
BLOSSOM: (shrugs) Hey, how was I supposed to know they'd turn into chauvinist piglets?
(Her eyes blink and she grins.)
BLOSSOM: Girls. Who's the biggest chauvinist we know?
BUBBLES: The mayor?
BUTTERCUP: No, Bubbles, he's the SMALLEST chauvinist we know.
BLOSSOM: Right, Buttercup. There's a MUCH bigger one, and he doesn't know it yet, but he's gonna solve ALL our problems!
(Cut to the Girls in the living room near the front door. Blossom is putting the finishing touches on a note, and then starts reading it out loud, blocking her face.)
BLOSSOM: 'Boys: We had to go out of town on a secret mission to help an old friend. If we aren't home when you get back, you'll have to come save us. The professor will tell you where we are.'
(She lowers the note and they all grin.)
BLOSSOM: 'Love, the Girls.' OK, let's roll!
(As they fly off, the note floats down to the coffee table.)
NARRATOR: Who's this old friend, I wonder?
(Cut to the Girls angrily striding through an office, right past a startled PHILLIP, the receptionist for the MAYOR OF CITIESVILLE.)
PHILLIP: Hey! You can't go in there!
(Pan on the Girls as they keep going, barging right into the mayor's office as surprised office workers get out of the way. Seated at his desk, he is startled, as are three men who are standing around him. Outside his window, a huge fire burns across the street and sirens and gunshots are heard.)
BLOSSOM: (peevishly) Hello, mayor!
MAYOR: (standing) What? You three? I thought I threw you out of this city!
(He looks at his assistants.)
MAYOR: That will be all for now.
(The same scene. The door is heard closing as the assistants leave. The Girls float there staring at him.)
MAYOR: (furious) What do you want? Citiesville doesn't need the likes of you to protect it!
BUTTERCUP: (half-smile, eyes closed) Oh, yes, the criminals are taking REAL good care of the half that hasn't already burned to the ground.
BUBBLES: (angry, pointing) But you don't think girls are good enough, do you?
BUTTERCUP: (angry) We could have fixed your stupid bridge!
BUBBLES: If you'da asked us nice!
BLOSSOM: (angry) We fix things ALL the time after we break them. But you chauvinist pigs are all the same. You can't stand the thought of your bacon being saved by a girl!
MAYOR: Ridiculous!
BLOSSOM: Oh yeah? We'll prove it to you!
BUTTERCUP: Right about...
BUBBLES: ...now!
(The Boys crash through the ceiling into the office and land in a shower of dust and chunks.)
BRICK: (concerned) Girls! Are you OK?
BLOSSOM: (smiling) Oh, we're fine. We were just telling our friend the Mayor here that Citiesville could use your help. It's just too much for us to handle.
BUTCH: No kidding! This town is a dump!
BOOMER: (evil grin) But that's about to change!
BOYS: Let's go!
(They fly back out. Fade out, and back in, to the Mayor standing at his window looking out. The Girls float behind him expectantly.)
MAYOR: Amazing! Absolutely amazing! We could sure use them here in Citiesville.
BLOSSOM: See? I told you. We can do everything they can.
BUTTERCUP: Only better, 'cause we've been doing it since we were born and they've been alive for two whole days.
BUBBLES: But you never even gave us a chance.
MAYOR: (turning) Girls, I owe you an apology. How can I make it up to you?
BLOSSOM: (smiling) Oh, I can think of something, can't you, Girls?
(They giggle.)
(Cut to the six children floating outdoors, outside Citiesville Hall, just as the sun is setting.)
BRICK: Wow, it sure was great for the mayor to give us a place to stay.
BOOMER: Yeah. We could be here for a while.
BUTTERCUP: We're counting on it.
BUTCH: Huh?
BUTTERCUP: (catching herself) Oh... (flutters her eyelashes) We'll be counting the days until we can see you again!
BUBBLES: Yeah, we're really gonna miss you!
BOOMER: Aw, we'll be home in no time.
GIRLS: No!
(The Boys look surprised.)
BLOSSOM: What we mean is, Citiesville needs your help more than Townsville does. It's your duty.
(They float up to the Boys and give them one last kiss.)
BUBBLES: But don't worry. The mayor said we can come once a week for a visit!
BOYS: All right!
NARRATOR: And so, the next week...
(Cut to the office of the mayor of Citiesville. Each Girl stands next to her counterpart. The pairs look happily at one another. The Mayor stands off to one side.)
MAYOR: Girls, I want to thank you. The Boys have been a real blessing to this city.
BUTTERCUP: I'll say!
BLOSSOM: Yeah, the place is really starting to shape up!
MAYOR: But I think we'll be needing their help for quite some time. Is that all right with you, Boys?
BRICK: Sure is, Pops!
BUTCH: Yeah, he told us we could call him that.
BOOMER: (proudly) And he's been teaching us all kinds of manly stuff!
BLOSSOM: (looking at Brick) Yeah? Like what?
BRICK: (dragging his foot across the carpet, shyly) Like, that you Girls can do the same stuff we do.
(The Girls all smile at that, and look at the Mayor.)
MAYOR: Yes, I'm very proud of them. (wipes a tear) They're like the sons I never had.
BUBBLES: Well, we're proud of them, too, aren't we, Girls?
BLOSSOM and BUTTERCUP: Yeah! Reward time!
(They float up to the Boys, lips puckered. The Boys pull back in horror.)
BOYS: Aggghhh! COOTIES!
(The Girls turn toward the Mayor with a smile and a wink. He holds up a thumb and forefinger in a circle and smiles, and winks back.)
NARRATOR: Ahahahahaha!! Those boys DO learn fast, don't they?
(The usual closing scene comes up, with the Girls against the hearts background.)
NARRATOR: So once again, the day is saved...by us guys!
(The Girls cross their arms and scowl.)
NARRATOR: Oops! I mean, by the Powerpuff Girls! Oink! Oink! Please don't hit me, Girls!
THE END
Story written February 2002