I look around and see there are many doors
Some doors are blue, some red and, and some purple.
Which one did I go through? Red one of course.
I wonder if Blue one's better or Purple?

The Red one says "I am the best of all doors,
Don't you feel it in you? Feelings to stay."
I think again; I ponder and wonder.
My head starts hurting; Feelings go away!

"Sweet one do not worry. It will be fine.
Someday, somehow, someway, you will know it's fine."

Forever So Oh baby I want you to know That I love you ever so; That the past is gone-- I have forgiven you evermore; That the future is coming-- But be patient, still, Wait for me, my beloved, Wait and please don't ask when-- The time will come, The time will pass ever so blindingly fast. So baby may your words be so blessedly true May every promise you made to me Be a fortune come true.

Here is what I've written in 2003

Sonnet 12: Surrendering finished on 9:51am Dec. 23 2003

I'm single once more, how funny is that? I fell in love too quickly, thinking that We were meant to be, that the love would last Instead of being wise, I went too fast, Too fast for thinking if the love was true. Now I must change, and I know what to do

I must surrender wholly to my God. I'll surrender all or the plan be flawed. I'll give my trust that He will find a man, I'll give my desires to find my own man, For my love is blind, yet God, He can see The man who is perfect for only me.

Now I have given six months of my life To surrender and live the single life.

Sonnet 11: Sweet Solitude finished on 12:36am Dec. 16 2003

I sit and wonder what I am meant for, What I am meant to do, or be, or not be. I'm twenty, two decades old, wanting more-- More of life and more of understanding: What is the purpose of my short life? Am I meant to lead or serve, teach or heal? Why do I endure my mind through such strife? Wondering what is truth and how it's real.

I sit in silence, in sweet solitude. The clock tics and time passes, and yet still I ponder the past and dream of what would What would become of me, what hole I'll fill I'm a puzzle piece, some hole I will fit What is the puzzle's picture, what is it?

Sonnet 10: I Miss You Dedicated to my boyfriend.

I think of you constantly, my sweetie. You are the man of my dreams and much more: Sofisticated, cute and my sweetie Who overflows with traits that I adore.

I wish I could have you here with me now. I'ld give you a hug and a big fat kiss. But for now I must wait, someway, somehow. My love, my baby, my cutie I miss.

So slowly the days go by one by one; I never thought that it would be like this. To feel lonely and yet loved by someone-- We are far apart, yet I'm happy I'm his: His girl, his baby his cutie and love; I'm his special someone and he's my love.

Sonnet 9: Not Their Style This one was written on April Fool's Day

Tonight I feel so very gullible. How could the people I trust be so cruel? Told them these thoughts, now will my anger cool? Cool enough to be friends with them again?

For now I won't listen, won't hear them talk 'Cause they won't say sorry, won't be beggin' Begging to be friends, begging just to talk Begging is not their style, they are too proud; Too proud to seem desperate or humbled. That's why I don't want to be from that crowd-- A crowd that can't tell when it has stumbled Across that line of beautiful friends And dispicable jerks, like ex-boyfriends

Sonnet 8: Waiting

I am waiting for the man of my life. I wonder what it's like -- to be a wife. I am waiting to be swept off my feet, Wonder what we'll be like when first meet.

Will he and I think it's love at first sight? Will he see me in a different light? Will he and I think it's love at first glance? Will we forever be in sweet romance?

I must admit I'm not very patient; It will be at God's time or else not meant, Not meant for him and I, not meant to be. Oh please, dear God, don't let me die lonely!

So I will wait and wait for God to say "Wait no longer, dear child, he's here today."

Sonnet 7: No Goodbye

I've wasted lots of time thinking of you Since you left me so many weeks ago. You didn't say goodbye. You were not true. I messed up again, I learned a bit though.

I knew that we weren't so great of a match, I don't think we had much in common now. Well, I guess I learned more about love's catch: Blindness of love or lust. (Do not allow.)

What I do not understand is why would You leave without a goodbye or a call? Goodbyes are important, they are a should. What were you thinking? What gave you the gall? To come and go, without a short farewell While I am still stuck in a clueless hell.

Sonnet 6: Someone Special

Today I feel so tired and weary After a long day at work, my feet ache, I want to sleep, my eyesight is bleary And so I think of you and I, and ache Because I miss you more and more each day I feel greedy, wanting you to myself Wishing we could be alone and away I wonder if you feel the same yourself?

I hope one day I can willingly tell My parents about how I feel for you About how things have been going so well About how we are together and true, Not living a lie, not hiding our love Just being together, with our sweet love.

Sonnet 5: The Perfect Love Dedicated to a great friend, but not the same one as mentioned in Sonnet 4.

I want to live a happy life. I hope That one wonderful day I will become A wife who does not sit around and mope Or grieve because her husband is so dumb.

This is my wish and my great desire, Not just to fool around with some Mr. Wrong, Nor go shopping for guys like a buyer, Nor dress slut-like wearing a tiny thong.

Looking back in the past, I feel stupid I chose so badly, and I didn’t think About what I was doing, what I did, Or about how things could change in a week.

I don’t want a temporary boyfriend Just a man to love me until the end.

Sonnet 4: I'm Still Mad

My friend, you were the first to break my heart. Why did you make me slowly suffer? I am still hurt and wish to stay apart. You had me fooled, and I was a sucker My friend, you looked into my eyes and said Very romantically, “I love you.” And I truly believed what you said But your romantic love would not stay true.

It took you a while to figure out That you loved me not, not anymore. How could you leave me hanging out? Not telling me the ugly truth before, Before I gave you my heart sincerely. I’m still hurting. Yes, I’m still mad, clearly.

Sonnet 3: The Night After

It has been a day since I've seen you last And I hope I won't for a thousand more For you stole my heart and then it was cast Away from your grasp and onto the floor.

Once long ago, you looked into my eyes, You said, "I love you," and I said so too, But now I think that you have told me lies; I guess I was mistaken about you.

You promised that you would never hurt me, But what's done is done and now it's too late. How could you just turn away and not see A poor girl suffering her sad fate:

To wait impatiently for just one call, Then to see you and watch you end it all.

Sonnet 2: The Night Before

You are my boyfriend or that's what I thought Until you ignored the one you should love. I thought you cared and liked me a lot, so why have you left me lonely, my love?

Before you would call almost everyday Now I despair to see a silent phone Not one missed call or message to replay Just wondering why you left me alone.

You said that you were just way too busy, Too busy to please a sad, lonely heart? Too busy to say something like, "Miss me?" Or too lazy to fix a broken heart?

It only takes a second to say, "Hi," It takes a second to say, "Goodbye."

Sonnet 1: Will We Ever Be?

Watching the sun set with colorful skies

Or seeing the stars shine light from above But not looking into your darling eyes I'll slowly suffer without your sweet love.

I desire to be together with you Otherwise the day's beauties are ugly Everyday is dreary, dull, and blue But with you beside me, I'll live gladly.

I miss having you near, stroking my hair Kissing me and chatting the time away Now where have you gone? I don't think it's fair That you don't care, if I'm not there today

I am so lonely but why don't you call? Do you miss me? Do you love me at all?

Diary Entry 02/09/2005 Lord, Another day I'm broken again. Another day that I'm single. Another day, another broken heart. Lord, how long, how far will we be apart?

Jesus, I want to touch you. Jesus, I really want to get to know you; Jesus, will you be my love? My all? My reason to live?

So here I am, Another ex-boyfriend on the list. So here I am, Another boy I've kissed. So here I am, Another trail I've walked; Another trial I've passed. Lord, thank You, Thank You for bringing me through.

I'm so glad that although I've lost another man, Although I've suffered another heart break, At least I still have You. Amen to that! ~Stacy Hernandez~

Psalm 51:10-17

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will turn back to you. Save me from bloodguilt, O God, the God who saves me, and my tougue will sing of your righteousness. O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise. You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

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