Forgiveness
... a powerful tool for Growth...?
Or
a Weapon against the Walkers of the Way ?
Recent events with
another forced me to look
at the whole concept
of forgiveness yet again .....
as I was expected
to do just that... forgive actions taken....
for the sake of
the peace of all....which I did...but not
in the sense some
others involved seemed to want..... :)
Here's what I did
instead
First off ....To
forgive .... one must first condemn......
I condemn no man
or woman.....for being human and having faults.....
but ( there's always
a " but" after such a sentence isn't there ? ... :)
I do hold them accountable
for their ill actions....
.and expect them
to learn and grow from those mistakes.....
and make amends
if they can.....as must we all...
its one of
those givens we all know... or should...
Forgiveness......
Forgiveness and understanding
we are asked so
very often to give..... and it's the right thing to do......
but is it always
the right thing ?
As Walkers of the
Way all too often this very concept and how its perceived by most is used
against us.... and becomes a detriment to our fellow travelers on
this planet and ourselves.... as it can enable our fellows..... to
behave in whatever manner they please..... even to do hurt..... yet we....
the Walkers of Light
are expected
to always forgive...no
matter what
But what of the
ones for whom there is no intent to do better...?
Who sees the fact
we forgive.........as an easy out for any mistake or ill intent ?
This is where our
forgiveness..... becomes a weapon against us...
as it means the
fellow traveler can behave in poor judgment
that they don't
seek to improve..... or hurtfully....or out and out wrongfully
while we
are to be big enough to forgive them
for it....while
they can go off and do whatever detriment they will again
...
knowing that....
we will forgive them for whatever they do,
because we are a
" Good " person... :)
In such events
our forgiveness is no gift.... we harm our fellow with it in fact
as we , in effect
, tell them... its alright...be a detriment to yourself and others....we
will forgive you... which absolves the other party of any responsibility
for their actions , as most perceive that it no longer matters what they
do.....as we will forgive them
In such cases I
still " forgive " them..... for being human.. but I do NOT excuse
them....which is.... unfortunately, what most people think your are
doing.....when you say the words..... I forgive you.....
Forgive their faults..?
Certainly as none of us is perfect.... :)
But excuse behavior
?
NO
We are
all
held
accountable for our actions for good or ill....no matter if it's just because
we had a bad hair day or just plain stupid choices....the fly trapped in
the spiders web has committed no crime but fly in a given space.... but
it pays for its choice....right or wrong has little to do with it.....in
the case of the fly it has no chance to make it right on the next flight.....
We
Do
Each moment we live....
we make choices.... not all of them good....
but for each act
we take....we must accept responsibility for them.....
and if being forgiven
when we choose wrong .... means we get to skip that part....then our fellows
do us no favors to " forgive " us.....as we do not grow....
but stagnate in
our growth....after all...... we have no need to improve the self
we will be forgiven...
:)
Now there are those
who will say.. this is hurtful to the person making the demand.....
that to hold another to account we must be feeling..... hate or anger.....or
playing a mind game of superiority.... that we sully our own soul
with our discontent
and our demand for accountability
Anger, hate, games......all
are a waste most certainly....... but accountability?
We all have a right
to expect it....and a responsibly to ourselves
and the world at
large to require it of ourselves and others
We live on this
planet ,in each others hip pocket, most of the time and therefore must
deal with one another... Yet we are told that we must show tolerance and
forgive...... to have tolerance for each other is the highest ideal of
all.....but again, one often used against us...because to many ...
that means that "forgive and forget and move on " bit again.....And if
we fail to do this...
we must be an Intolerant
person or we would.." forgive
" them
Forgiveness is not
Tolerance
Tolerance is when
we accept the others right to believe differently than we .. to live as
they want..... except where it infringes on the rights of another...
Abe Lincon is quoted
as saying
" Your right
to swing your arm........ends at your neighbors nose "
It does not require
hate or anger.. to hold a person to account for their actions as is often
believed... " you haven't forgiven me" ( meaning you still expect me to
do something about this..) ..."therefore you are mad at me"...
this is the rant
of a child
This is yet another
aspect of the whole forgiveness thing ...that is widely misunderstood
...that you have to be mad at someone to want and or expect accountability
from them...... One word on that....... balderdash !
( Im trying to be
polite this week..... heheheheheheh...)
Karma alone will
dish out whatever one has coming ... as they have created it
by their own hand
... so why seek to punish ?
This is not about
punishment
So what's my point
? The point is we are expected to " forgive, forget and move on "
which we do.. but what if they do it again.. and again and again ?
Each time we are
to forgive..? We do.. :)
But accounting for
such actions taken must be made.. .especially for
a repeated Ill action
which ...if we are doing our job....they know is outa line
It does not sully
ones soul to know that your fellow man is fallible and capable of all manner
of foolishness ......it's facing reality with open eyes to aid our fellows
in growth....which is what we are supposed to do......without hate or malice.....help
each other......even if that means to shun them for their actions to get
the point across because to do less...could be dishonest in the very least...
and a lie at worst
I don't need to
hate someone to choose to have nothing further to do with them till they
get their act together..... if I can not help them any other way....
I understand them
and I forgive them....
but It don't mean
Im gonna sit down to dinner with them
and pretend everything's
just fine and dandy ! How do I help them grow
if I do ? Not to
mention such would play merry hell with my digestion :)
Having understanding
does not equal an excuse for the behavior either..
so often the cry
is heard... " you just don't understand me.." when what they really mean
is..." your not letting me do what I want "... :)
It does not help..
if to "forgive " means the other party or yourself..
does not grow and
mature...and we are expected to make this clear to others,
as they should for
us....This is often mistaken for being judgemental....its not... its pointing
out basic......known facts...... but instead
it is often suggested
to and by other Light workers to......
" Leave it
to the Gods to take care of the wrong they do "
Can
you say .... Major Cop Out ?
We are our brothers
keeper in that we are part of the Price of Karma.....and expected to aid
them......as they are expected to aid us, when we fail to act in
good faith....to wait and leave it all to the Gods, is to be cowardly which
is not a way for a Walker of the Light......it also has the effect
of subjecting them and all with whom they come in contact to their
brand of misery for their whole lifetime...if they are especially dense
and never get it...... which sounds like a drag for all seasons at best..
a disaster in the making at worst....better to let them know now
that their actions are not in their own, or others best interests
and have a Price
to be paid for them in This lifetime
!
This is not hate..
or anger.....or coldness towards our fellows.... this is love in
its best form.. when you care enough to say...there is accounting to be
done and make it stick......it will happen weather we point it out
or not.... but it might be a lot easier on them or us as the case may be
:) ... if someone holds us to account the first time.....instead of letting
natural events that rise from our actions do it which can be a lot more
harsh about it than any one person might be to them Karma is Karma.. and
has no pity and hurts a lot more
than just the One
who started it all ... when that act rebounds back
And my last point
that to allow ourselves to be USED so by others ...
because we will
forgive...and forget... makes us a target for abuses of all sorts
by anyone who cares
to dish it out !
For our sake...
and our fellow travelers.... we must hold each other accountable..or
none of us grow...towards the light
and the eventual
unity of soul
Not to mention the
Great Mother
didn't put us here
to be a punching bag for anyone
who wants to take
pot shots at us ! :)
Personal
responsibility
is the name of the game...
We choose how to
act..
We take the effects
each act creates....
It's time, we....
the Walkers of the Way... with Love ...
remind the ones
who hide behind "forgiveness "
That each act brings
its own Price
Blessings Be
Esta
Proud member
of ANUH community :)
Web
site....Pagan and Proud
