My Life at January 2008
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January 31, 2008(Thursday)
My professor and I spent several more hours to proof read the paper. The degree of carefulness when proofreading the paper makes me feels like that I am proofreading a Bible, trying to make it as accurate as possible. At the end of the day I felt so good to have submitted this paper. Smile!
Carmen and I also went to see the doctor today. And originally we planned to go to prayer meeting as usual. However my professor emailed me the last version of the paper so I have to proofread that immediately. It is because the deadline of the submission is tonight. Carmen and her parents also spent time to organize the closet of Cailyn. There are so many clothes!
January 30, 2008(Wednesday)
I had meeting with professors today about the queueing/healthcare project I stopped worked on about half a year ago. They still haven't had the data from the hospital yet. However, they also pointed out some mistake that I made. Every time I had meeting with them and found out some mistake, I felt so uneasy. For the rest of the day I worked on the paper again. The deadline is tomorrow night. The professor is also working hard on this too.
January 29, 2008(Tuesday)
I spent a few hours today for the paper. And today is also the last day for Carmen and I to enjoy the "two-people's world". Tonight Carmen's parents arrived and afterward we will have our baby Cailyn. Therefore, we went out for dinner and went to read comic book.
January 28, 2008(Monday)
I had only 6 hours sleep, very few compare to the 9 hours sleep I usually get. I had a meeting with professor this morning about the paper and I am working on this most of the day. There is also some job candidate coming to do a presentation so I attended as well. At night time I am more or less done with what I can do, so I decided to take it easy and watched some movie. I have to clear my mind before proofreading and editing again.
January 27, 2008(Sunday)
Since I have emailed this revision of my paper to professor yesterday, I am pretty free most of the day. I am able to read some paper and watched some movie. However at midnight, he sent me an email saying that there is still a lot of work and he gets pessimistic again about making the deadline this Thursday. Therefore, my stress level (actually it is more like my "urge" or "impatient and want to get it done as soon as possible") immediately increases tremendously. Therefore I worked for 3 more hours and slept at 3:30am.
January 26, 2008(Saturday)
We went to have lunch and a meeting for the Cantonese group leader. At night we went out for grocery shopping and dinner too. We are enjoying ourselves while we can because after the baby is born, thing will be very busy.
January 25, 2008(Friday)
I taught I-Core class this morning. This is the fourth semester that I teach this material, and each semester I teach four different classes. Therefore I know the material really well. I also tried to go slow and let students to get involved. Ask them to go to the board to do some exercise, and ask students for the questions. I think that I did a really good job today in teaching.
Afterward I had lunch with a job candidate (applying for IU) and then I went to work out with Carmen. She is still the only pregnant woman I saw in the exercise area, and she is very physically fit, compare to other pregnant woman.
At night, we went to the Mandarin graduate group for Bible study again. I am still learning Mandarin one step at a time but I think that I am definitely improving.
January 24, 2008(Thursday)
I had a meeting with professor today. Unlike so many other meetings in the past, I actually felt good after the meeting. I had worked so hard after last week's meeting. It is because I want to get the paper done by Jan 31. And he thought that I did a decent job, and he will play around with the paper from now on. I felt so good and I don't have the usual stress after the meeting!
We also talked about finding the dissertation topic. I need to spend the next three months simply reading lots of paper and magazine just to find the right problem. It will be hard! Let's see what will be done!
January 23, 2008(Wednesday)
I am still struggling with not able to find the dissertation topic. I felt so dumb. Probably I need to walk away for a few days and hope that I can have some clearer idea afterward. The Game Theory Econ class is also very difficult. I was sitting in for the class because I can't commit to this class after Cailyn is born. The Econ people are doing very abstract theory stuff. That is way beyond my understanding. For business people (like us), I hope to find some easy model and apply to some scenario. I don’t need to show the existence of equilibrium (or something like that).
At night we had dinner with Zach and I had a baptismal/discipleship class with him.
January 22, 2008(Tuesday)
Since Jun 2002 I started the second time reading English Bible as devotion time (4th time if including Chinese), I have recorded all the familiar verses on a separate journal. I finished reading Dec 31 2007. However because of slack off I haven't recorded anything for a year. I finally have the time to do it and I finished writing down all the familiar Bible stories and Bible verses! I felt good! Moreover ever since summer 1994 I enrolled in the discipleship training, I memorize 64 Bible verses. I usually memorize 3 or 4 times per year. Today is the first time that I memorize out loud and share this with Carmen! I felt really good again about this!
She helped me cut hair. Next time, Cailyn will be here making noise!
January 21, 2008(Monday)
Today is the Martin Luther King Holiday and there is no school. I was still trying hard to find the dissertation but I am running out of idea. I was doing some research on various business news and I am finding the right trade off. No idea yet.
January 20, 2008(Sunday)
I went to church today and then Sunday School. Nothing much is going on. After submitting the paper to prof, I am brainstorming the dissertation topic.
January 19, 2008(Saturday)
It is very cold today. Therefore we stayed home most of the day. We only went out for grocery shopping and read comic.
I also emailed my paper to professor and I have to wait for his feedback, which will be next Thursday. Therefore I will be quite free for the next couple of days. I better think about the dissertation topic soon!
January 18, 2008(Friday)
I had meeting this morning with professor, and then I went to listen to another job candidate presenting today. We also went to work out in the afternoon. Throughout the last few years I was in IU, Carmen is the only pregnant woman that I see doing exercise. (There are some that do deep water exercising, but not workout or stretching). This is good for her health and I think that most pregnant woman are too tired, lazy or busy to do exercise. Therefore I am confident that Carmen will have a smooth labor process.
At night we went to the Mandarin graduate group for fellowship. They were talking topics such as "if you have never heard about the gospel, would you be saved". Interesting question. I tried my best to use my broken Mandarin to share. I hope that it brings the point across.
January 17, 2008(Thursday)
As usual, I spent a long time working on my dissertation today. We also went to have a routine checkup for the baby. Cailyn is now 6.5 pound (about 45 percentile compares to other). Carmen's Cervix only left with 10% and is 1cm dilated. The baby can come anytime! This is getting more and more exciting! That means, I must be more and harder working to finish the paper.
January 16, 2008(Wednesday)
Today is a full day working on dissertation. The deadline is Jan 31 and I am working my butt off so that I can get something done. Let's see how it goes.
January 15, 2008(Tuesday)
We did grocery shopping and spend as much time fun as possible. I had a meeting with professor in the afternoon, and as usual after the meeting there is so many things that I need to do. I am aiming at submitting to a special issue of a journal and the deadline for submission is Jan 31. I really want to make this date but I am not too confident because there are so many things that we need to do. For the whole Christmas we did not meet because my professor is not here. I am afraid that we can't make the deadline.
At night we had a deacon board meeting and since two of the six deacons can't come, this is a relatively short meeting. It only lasts for 1.2 hours. The shortest meeting in the church history (a short lifespan starting from 2006)
January 14, 2008(Monday)
There is someone coming from University of Michigan to present because he is applying for the faculty position at IU. I attended his talk and had lunch with him (and with other PhD students). I think that his talk is pretty interesting and well motivated. I don't have anything like that right now and I am not sure whether I will have that later. For now I will just try to do my best. He (like the candidate that came last Friday) is also working on Game Theory. Currently if I have any technical question there is no one in our department that I can ask question. I wish that they can join earlier so that I can learn more from them
I am sitting in a Game Theory class from the Econ department this semester. The material is tougher than the material in last semester but I think that this professor is much better than the previous professor.
January 13, 2008(Sunday)
After church, we did some cleanup at our house and organize the room for the baby stuff again. It is because for the last several months our church friend Joyce (and her husband Nicky during weekend) would come over to stay at our house every other week. Therefore we did not do a lot of organizing. Now they will return to Chicago for good; in addition the mattress that parents gave to Cailyn arrived. Therefore we set up the baby crib too. It seems like that we have most things settled down. Hopefully when Cailyn comes, thing will be smooth.
January 12, 2008(Saturday)
This afternoon my ex-classmates Valya Kuskova organized a baby shower for our baby girl Cailyn. We have talked about this idea for several months and she is extremely enthusiast to help us to organize this event, with the help of our church friend Linda. We had a lot of food, and we played games as well. This is a great time to get-together; we invited friends from school and friends from church to join. I think that we had fun. We played two "paper-based" games. One is naming the "child-version" of different animals (e.g. for dog, the child version is "puppy"). We also played a cross-word puzzle about various baby things too! Since most of us are "English as a second language", we had a difficult time figuring out the answer. Nevertheless we enjoyed the game too!
At night we went to the hotpot of our church. We also watched the movie "Ratatouille" and "I am a legend". I am quick and smart in games, but not so good in understanding the movie. This is certainly a good time for me to get away from study and relax.
I was checking the number of people visiting my online diary page, and I found that on average there are two to three unique visits per day. I just wonder who you are. If you don't mind, Please send me an email and let me know.
January 11, 2008(Friday)
I am teaching the I-Core class today. This is the fourth time (and last time) that I have to teach this class.
Our department has opening for professor and so there are students coming here to give a job talk and interview for the position. I will have to do it next year this time. Today there is someone coming from the University of Pennsylvania. I missed the talk because I have to do the teaching. However there is a lunch with the PhD students and I get to know him at that time. Afterward I had a meeting with Professors about my paper. I haven't met with them for a while and this certainly feel good to do some productive thing. But it is stressful and lots of work again after meeting, as usual.
At night the fellowship is Bible study. There are many new students coming this week and most of them joined us tonight. We had some games and Bible Study. I found (and I have known for along time) that, my brain is turning very quick and always able to come up with some tricky or interesting idea. But I hope that Cailyn will not be like me.
January 10, 2008(Thursday)
We went to a regular pregnancy checkup today. The doctor says that the position of the baby has lowered a bit and she is ready to go anytime, probably sooner than our due date. I suddenly felt very nervous and excited, because the time (of being a father) is so close! I am not yet ready! (I don't think that I ever will). I shared this with parents and they are excited too.
I have been studied a lot lately (for the last 2.5 years) and I don't have much energy and motivation to do studying today. Therefore I read some spiritual book and magazine.
January 09, 2008(Wednesday)
I am studying very hard lately (for the last 2.5 years). The reason I give myself is that I want to get a good job such that Carmen and Cailyn would have a good and stable time. And we can live in a larger city so that we don't need to live in a small college town like this. However, I reflect that this is not the whole story. Carmen told me that I am very nice to her and she felt great. It reminds me that, if I have a great job but my family relationship is not good, then that is useless. We would rather be living in some remote place (e.g. South Dakota or Wyoming) and have a good family relationship. I reflect that the main reason I study so hard is because of pride. I want to get a good job to erase the shame I had three years ago (being rejected by dozen of universities). Therefore I am learning to step back, relax and re-orient myself such that I don't worship "study" as my idol.
Nevertheless I also spent most time today studying. But I am learning to do thing with the right attitude. It is not easy but I am learning one step at a time. Pray for me.
January 08, 2008(Tuesday)
Carmen has quitted work for about 2 months. Lately she has done a lot of cleaning and preparation at home. I don't want her to be at home all the time, so I suggested to go to Indianapolis (about an hour drive) today. We went to buy some diapers and drawers for baby. We also had Chinese food as dinner too.
At night, we had a meeting regarding our group Macedonia. There is a lot of newcomers joined us. Moreover our involvement in the church will be kept to minimal when the baby was born. Therefore we have to discuss how we have to carry thing over. It is time for someone else now. Our job in the group is almost done!
January 07, 2008(Monday)
I want to attend an advanced Game Theory class. However since we will have a baby in a month, I did not register for this class. I plan to sit in instead. The class is supposed to be Monday and Wednesday's afternoon. However, I went to the wrong class today! This is also a PhD level Micro-economic class with lots of game theory stuff. Therefore when I was attending this morning, I did not notice any problem. However, I found out later that I went to the wrong class! How stupid I am!
My professor Seb gave me a paper that he wrote to proofread. Therefore I spent several hours today reading his paper and trying to give some comments. We went to a breastfeeding class in the evening too.
January 06, 2008(Sunday)
I am the sermon speaker today for the Sunday worship. My topic is on "choose water? Choose boat?" This is based on the gospel of Matthew Ch 14 23-35 (Peter walks on water). The idea is that we should step out of our comfort zone and choose water, even though this is a bit risky. I did not have a lot of points. I only focus on this one. Thanks God that I think that I did a pretty decent job.
We also went to workout. For the last three weeks, the place that we usually go to work out (SRSC) is closed for maintenance. Therefore we have to go to another workout room which is much older and not as nice. The SRSC (Student recreation and sport center) reopened today and we glad that we can use the equipment that we are familiar with.
January 05, 2008(Saturday)
There is an American old man (about 70 years old) helping new students by delivering used furniture to them. He used to be a wrestling coach and got a call from God about 20 years ago to help new international students through giving them furniture. This morning he gave a lot of furniture to new students in our church. I very appreciate what he is doing! I went to help out with the moving too, because he only has a helper and it is not good to see an old man do all these heavy lifting!
Carmen led the parenting group this afternoon. The topic is about "protecting the child" and "accepting the child". We shared that for now our fear about the child is premature birth and health related problem. Different parents in our group shared their fear. We can see the young parents usually fears about health-related issue while the old parents fears about their children making the wrong choices. Moreover, I am only two of the people who go to church since I was born. I shared that by seeing parents, uncle/aunties and grandparents dedicated a lot of their time serving in church when I was young, this shape how I view serving in church - must dedicate as much as I can.
At night we went to do some grocery shopping and reading comic.
January 04, 2008(Friday)
The fellowship today s on welcoming new students. There are about 8 of them! However the orientation from the business school ends at about 8:30pm (our fellowship time is 7:30pm - 9:30pm), by the time they are here it is quite late. We only sang a few songs and had game.
January 03, 2008(Thursday)
We drove some new students to buy grocery in the morning. Then we went to work out in the afternoon. There are so many people! Students are coming back now! The gym is so packed!
At night we went to prayer meeting as usual. Prayer meeting has canceled for the last two weeks and it is good to have that again. Carmen also has finished organizing most of the clothes for Cailyn! She surely has a lot!
January 02, 2008(Wednesday)
I had meeting with classmate Greg today on a project. Then at night I helped some newcomers moving house. Parents also came up with some Chinese name for our daughter Cailyn and we are in the process of finding the best match. Thinking about the name is not an easy task!
January 01, 2008(Tuesday)
Carmen did a lot of house work today. Also I am trying to set up a system to put the clothes and other accessories for Cailyn. Given the small area in our home (which is already bigger than many people's house in Asia cities), I am trying to develop an efficient way to store things.
At night we went to our friend Peter/Linda's house for dinner. They recently went to Taiwan to visit families and took wedding photo (but they have been married for more than a year).