My Life at April 2003
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April 30, 2003(Wednesday)
There is not much going on today at work (again). I learnt how to use "trillian". It is a chatting application. Originally, I have icq (for Vancouver friends), AOL (for work) and MSN (for Venezuela friends and work). However, by using trillian, I can merge the three applications' contact into one. That is quite convenient. However, there is no instant notice when an email is arrived to my hotmail account.
Another thing that I investigate today is some instant text message to cell phone. My cell phone cannot send text message but I can receive text message. Now there is some website that I use to send text message. That will be cool. However, I am not sure whether the message will be received or not. And there is the same thing that I can send to people in Vancouver too.
At night we went to Mimia's house to discuss about Pastor Loh's farewell party. We all want to make it warm and nice. Let's see what we can do.
April 29, 2003(Tuesday)
Geocities did not allow me to save in the file manager. I used a trick to make it work though. I save the HTML code in notepad and then convert it to HTML file. I upload this file to the homepage and it works! I love notepad.
There was another Outreach tonight. Originally Pastora was the host but since she hurt her back on Monday, Paco organized and I helped out. I shared about my love relationship and my view of love relationship. Here are some of the topics that I shared. I started to pray and read books since Gr.7. How I met Carmen in church. What some issues that every lovers need to work on, e.g. in-law, financial, future family planning and so on. Whenever we had fight, we will pray at the end because we are not only hurting each other but also to God as well. I showed Carmen's photo (the one that we took in the sticker-card photo when I was back in Vancouver Aug 2002) and they all said that Carmen is pretty. I am more open to share about my love relationship.
There was a Chinese girl named Yemmy. She had been a Christian for several years but had quite a poor spiritual life and rarely goes to church. She helped out in some skits in the Outreach program last night. (Yes, I am aware that she rarely comes to church). She asked her non-Christian boy-friend to come of the outreach and ended up that he stayed upstairs for the whole program. Therefore, she had a fight with him and was weeping about that. Previously people in the church thought that she is "hopeless" but I am glad that at least she cried for that. She knew that she was taking a challenging road (by dating non-Christian) and discovered that it is very difficult. I told her that she has not reach the point-of-no-return (getting married) yet. She is smart enough to know what I mean but whether she will do what I suggest is another story.
April 28, 2003(Monday)
I was trying to update my online diary but geocities is very screwed today. I can not save in that page and it has been the problem for several days already. I have no idea when I can upload my diary again.
I went to visit Pastora Karen with Paco and Che So at night. She hurt her back yesterday in Panama while attending the inter-church conference for North and South America. I feel that they are very “bad luck”. Previously when there was no gasoline, Pastor always lined up for gas and for two times at least, he spent 4+ hours in lining up and ended up that there is no gas when it is almost his turn. Today, Pastor needed to stay in Panama to teach a Christian course until Wednesday while Pastora must come back in wheelchair with someone else in church. Moreover, when she went home, there was no electricity. And the telephone can only receive call but not dialing out. Anyway, she was supposed to be the speaker for tomorrow night’s outreach; we have to think of a back-up plan now. We ate dinner at Che So’s restaurant; I enjoyed the Dim Sum from her restaurant. (There are only three restaurants in Caracas that has Dim Sum)
April 27, 2003(Sunday)
I was the singspiration leader today and led the following songs: “Shine Jesus Shine”, “Jesus Lamb of God”, “Power of Your Love”, “High sing into cloud” (Chinese song), “I use prayer to be before you” (Chinese song). I am trying new combination this time because there is no ACM song. Also, instead of asking Chi Kong to play piano, I asked him to sing and asked Cristina to play guitar. We did not have a lot of time to practice and I am not happy about the performance. Originally I planned to teach them “Story time” during the Sunday school but there was some Christian questioned came up. Therefore, I shared my view about “Creationism vs. Darwinism” and “Why there is suffering in the world” instead.
I went to eat lunch with Ah Men, Ricky, Ellen and their co-worker. I went to Che So’s house and had a meeting about the Chinese Youth follow up program. I expressed my view that I need a break and cannot take any additional workload. I will continue do what I am doing but will not do this follow up job. I have done several in Vancouver (e.g. William, Chris, Derek and Tai) and really thought that this is a worth-while investment; however, I feel the gap between the Chinese youth here and me. My unknown work situation also caused me doubts too.
After an afternoon nap, I ate dinner at Che So’s house. We talked the Lui’s situation yesterday and we need to handle it carefully. None of the people that I talked to (e.g. Ricky, Mrs. Wong and Che So) thought that there is any problem with me. I am glad that I did not ruin my image. I told her that it is necessary to handle Victor, her 13 years old nephew that lives with her carefully because of some potential psychological problem.
April 26, 2003(Saturday)
I went to play tennis with Ricky, Ellen, Chi Kong, Kitty, Cristina and Ah Men for two hours and then had lunch with them. Afterward, Ah Men and I went to Ricky’s house for about an hour and talked about some issued we discussed last night.
There is a Chinese fellowship today. It is the idea of Ricky and is for the Chinese speaking Sunday School. It is mainly for the Chinese adults that are in his Sunday school. I went to sit in and listen to them to share. There were a couple Mr. and Mrs. Lui (the parents of Chi Kong) and also Ah San that were from MB church and transferred to Baptist church beginning of this year. They used to be the church deacons in MB church for the past few years. In the sharing, Mrs. Lui, with lots of bitterness, attacked Pastor Semson (the pastor in MB church) saying that he does not have love. I am extremely irritated and tried to defense for Semson. I was saying that he has love, but the way to present it may differ from what they expected. After my 5 mins sharing, Mrs. Lui was totally freaked out and started to defense herself big time. Her main point was that I am a visitor here and know very little thing about the MB church; I should be silence. She thought that I am not welcoming her to the church (I invited Chi Kong to church in the first place!). It is false because my main point is only defense for Semson and saying that their way to express love may differ from what she expects. I seldom see this verbally aggressive scene in my life.
I had word to attack (don’t you know that one of my strength is to think fast and talk fast?) but I decided to be silence the whole time. I know that if I am going to talk, it will not be from God but from my aggressiveness. Afterward, I even apologize to her publicly for my speech, which I did not regret at all in my heart. I wanted to make sure there is peace at church and also to have a clear conscious at church.
After music practice, I went to Mrs. Wong’s house and talked to her about what happened today. I am glad that everyone else in the church understands the situation and is logically. She was one of the people that I can count on for the support. What I did today is only to float the problem to the surface. We also talked about the Chinese youth Outreach program and whether it is possible to combine it with the MB church. This is one of the hopes that I have but on the other hand there are lots of church issues and administration involves that would prevent it.
April 25, 2003(Friday)
I was supposed to go to the customer Seniat for the traffic analysis with a big analyzer with my boss. However, he was busy so I did not go. There was no prayer meeting at night because Pastor Loh, Pastora Loh and Mimia went to Panama for an inter-church conference for all Chinese churches in North and South America. In addition there will be a Chinese fellowship tomorrow afternoon so Mr. Wong canceled it. I do not agree with it because we should not cancel regular church program without a serious reason.
Paco and I went to Ricky’s house for dinner. We talked about the Chinese youth situation and also the Chinese youth Sunday School. Moreover, we talked about the definition of salvation. This problem had bothered us for a long time because of the emphasis of work. We arrived with a conclusion that faith is the requirement and work is the proof. In addition, we discussed about the incompetence of the church administrative team because of lack of professional training. We briefly discussed some church people relationship problem too. We left at 11:50pm.
April 24, 2003(Thursday)
I was a bit sick today. I guess that I caught a flu yesterday morning. As if that is not enough, one of my housemate just came back from China. (However I did not contact her. And she did not sneeze. I don't think that I did catch the SARS!)
I went to Seniat for traffic analysis. I left my laptop for collecting data and then went home to have a very long afternoon nap - from 12:30 to 3:30. Feel better afterward. I went to pick up my laptop and then went to office to work on that traffic report. My boss told me that I need to use another (big) sniffer instead of my laptop sniffer. I may have to redo the work.
I had Spanish class at night. I tried to talk to the cleaning ladies (who do not speak English) as much as possible since Tuesday. I ask my co-worker to show me some Spanish too. The reason I took the class tonight is because I want to feel better that I did do something for my Spanish situation. Now I have more confident to talk to people in really simple Spanish.
My parents called at night regarding about my health situation. They wanted me to move out from the apartment for a few days. I am concern myself about the situation too but I need to have a balance. I don't want to be over-worry about the situation. I dreamed of having SARS at night, but I know that "fear" is more fearing than the disease itself.
April 23, 2003(Wednesday)
I went to customer Henkel in the morning to install a VPN3005 and Router 2610. It went pretty smooth and I was back to office by 1:00pm. The company driver who drove us there was dangerous. He drove fast and cut lane. Venezuela driver is dangerous enough and he is one of the worst.
There is no electricity at my house dinner lunch time because the landlord forgot to pay for the bill. However, when I returned home at night, everything was ok.
I was a bit sick today. I went to Ah Men's house for dinner and Chi Kong's perfume really irritates me. therefore, when I was teaching Ah Men for a song that he needs to sing next Tuesday, I lost my patient a little bit.
April 22, 2003(Tuesday)
Nothing much happened at work. I went to church at night for the music practice. Also, there is water so I can take a shower at home. (I am not taking it for granted, as some of the time there is no water)
April 21, 2003(Monday)
There is nothing much going on today. I was updating the photo homepage in the morning, and almost bored to death in the afternoon. I developed a course last week about VPN and someone else will teach the course this Thursday night, Friday night and Saturday whole day. My boss told me that I am supposed to be in the class during that time to support. That is sucks and will be really boring.
I went to Che So house for dinner and talked to Carmen on phone about our wedding preparation. How to handle our money will be a big issue in our relationship and we must learn how to be constructive now.
April 20, 2003(Sunday)
I heard gun sound at 3:50am and then there were police in the street. However, I don't see any people hurt. I slept for a long time today to make up for last few days. I went to church to practice music after lunch and then both Baptist Church and MB Church had a combined worship in the afternoon. I was the singspiration leader and I led "Wonderful Hand" (ACM's "You are king"), "Come worship God" (ACM's "Come revive me"), "In Jesus" (ACM's older song), "Hevenu Shalom" (ACM's "Prince of Peace"), "Shout to the Lord" (ACM's "Prince of Peace") and "Please send me" (ACM's "Prince of Peace"). These songs are familiar to the Baptist Church but new to the MB Church. I like ACM's songs.
We had dinner at church together. I spent quite a long time helped out with the clean up and washing dishes. I have more joy in this kind of serving than the "front stage" serving (e.g. song leading or hosting program). Pastor Semson gave me a CD that contains 268 photos for the Asamblea, church and Venezuela. I went home early (at 8pm).
April 19, 2003(Saturday)
I woke up at 4:30am because we have to be at church at 5:30am. We went to "Puerto Fancias" beach. The bus ride was 2 hours and the boat ride was 30 mins. There is no dock in the beach so people have to walk into the water in order to get onto the boat. The water is as deep as 1 meter. Moreover, the tide was pretty strong. There were kids, and old people went to this trip, so that makes the boat ride very challenging. Every one of us gets wet even though not everywhere planed to swim. It is very easy to imagine how chaotic the situation was at that time.
The beach is a nice place, even though as nice as "tu cacas", the place that I went last July. We took photos, swam and had fun. Since there is neither change room nor shower, the bus ride home was wet and salty (everyone was wet because getting on and off the boat).
I am glad that there is water at home so that I can take a shower. Afterward, I ate dinner at Paco's house. We discussed about the drama for Pastor Loh's farewell party. We also expressed the difficult problem at church. This is not talking about church politic because I can really feel that he is tackling the problem, not the people. He told me that he has been separated from his wife and his child for 2 years and cannot see them until next year. And his situation was not bad because he can icq his wife whenever he has time. His dad's situation was even worse. His dad came to Venezuela and separated from his mom for 10 years! The telephone call was expensive so he can only mail a letter every several months. His dad went back to China to visit his family once during those 10 years. He told me that since I am from HK and Canada, I cannot truly understand why Chinese wanted to go oversea. I felt I am so lucky on one hand but the position in China is so hopeless.
April 18, 2003(Friday)
There is Asamblea in the morning and afternoon. Since I have been to many conferences and camps, I do not feel particularly different, but others thought that it is pretty good. I went to work to check email during lunch time and then went to eat lunch with MB church's youth. At night, I went to eat dinner with the Baptist church Chinese adults. There were about 40 people went there at that time. It is a big group.
April 17, 2003(Thursday)
I went to church and practice for the music performance for two hours in the morning. Afterward, we went to Che So house for lunch.
I went to an Immanuel Church for Asamblea. The seven Chinese churches in Venezuela will gather at Caracas for these two days. Baptist Church had a music performance. We sang an Espanol song (don't know the name), "You Permit" (ACM's "Come Revive me") and Stream of Praises with the rap version. I thought that we did ok. Even though we had some mistake, we managed to pick them up. We wore Sunglass when I rap the "Stream of Praises". I did not laugh and it sounds pretty cool.
Some of the youth went to Sambil (a shopping mall) but I went to Ah Man's house instead. And then we all gathered and went to eat dinner at a Chinese restaurant. We joked around and made fun with each other. I went home at 9:40.
April 16, 2003(Wednesday)
Today is a really relax day. The whole week is called the Holy week; school and some companies have the entire week as holiday. Tomorrow and Friday will be the statuary holiday so this is the day before the long weekend. People were relaxing, watching TV (from their computer) and surfing the net. Many people left early or did not come to work at all. I spent some times edited the Venezuela Church sharing.
I went to Che So’s house for dinner.
Tomorrow and Friday will be the Asamblea for all the Venezuela Chinese churches. People will go to Caracas for this meeting. There is usually prayer meeting Wednesday night for the MB church and Friday night for the Baptist Church; for this special occasion, both churches hold a combined prayer meeting at MB church tonight.
More to come later!!!!
April 15, 2003(Tuesday)
Today is another easy day. I worked on the VPN course that will be delivered to the junior engineer in the company. Also, I tried out the hot dogs that are sold on the street. They are cheap! A big one only cost Cdn $1.5.
I went to church for the Asamblea music practice. My "Stream of Praises rap version" was pretty good. We are going to wear Sun glass and dance like black people during the performance. Even Pastora Loh is willing to dance with us (She withdrew afterward because she said that she is too old for that). The only problem is that it is too funny. I am really afraid that I will laugh at that time.
April 14, 2003(Monday)
I almost witnessed the first major car accident. I was walking and I heard a not-so-loud bang sound. And when I turned around, I saw two cars stop in the middle of the road. No one was hurt because it is not too "major". However, one of the car has the bumper fallen. The people here always drive dangerously (even in my standard!) therefore I always wonder that there should be a lot of car accident in the street.
I did some lab work for the upcoming VPN courses. I went to Ah Men's house for dinner because Che So and Paco are not available at that time. I furnished on the "Stream of Praises HK style rap talk" at night.
April 13, 2003(Sunday)
This is the first Sunday in three months that I don’t have to help out in anyway. No music performance and no singspiration leading. Therefore, I don’t need to dress up. (But I have to play guitar for the song “Power of Your Love?. I was talking to Chi Kong about the music performance in the Asamblea and also the song leading next Sunday. He felt uncomfortable about the very last notice. There is nothing that I can do and I am stressed myself and had a bad mood. So I asked Mr. Wong (the chair of the church council) to talk to him. I decided not to use the song we practice last night because it is too difficult for them (that is the song “Jehovah’s blessing abundant" from Stream of Praise #2). We end up singing “Stream of Praises" and “You are willing" (From ACM’s “Revive me?.
During Sunday School, I shared that I am not machine and I have my up-and-down time. I told them that I felt lonely, without a co-worker and I do not feel the support. I have experience these kind of thing previously and I should be able to handle that. However, I still wanted to share with them so that they know what I am going through and what they will go through if they continue to walk this serving road.
Instead of going to shopping mall with the church youth, I went to MB church. I sat in the back corner, instead of the front row like I did in Baptist Church. This actually tells my feeling about the two churches. I went with them for their Asamblea presentation practice. They were more organized and practiced in advanced, as opposed to the Baptist Church.
I had a cool idea about the Asamblea performance. Instead of plainly singing Stream of Praises, I composed the rap version of that song. It took me 1.5 hours and I am sure that it will be a blast.
April 12, 2003(Saturday)
I went to “high class club" with Cristina, Ellen and Ricky and played tennis there. It is a sweating exercise that I enjoy. I went to MB church in the afternoon and talked to Pastor Semson about Pastor Loh’s farewell party briefly. It is really sad to find out that other churches have invited him already for the farewell party but there is nothing until now that Baptist Church, his pastoring church, had done. Pastor Loh’s agenda is pretty much full so we cannot obtain the best date. Instead of joining the youth fellowship, I read Newsweek and slept at church.
We had music practice at night. There is a lot that is going on. We had to practice for the Asamblea music performance and coming Sunday’s singspiration, all of which I was noticed the last minute. And there is Tuesday Outreach that I need to prepare too. I can feel the stress and the pressure.
I stayovered at the Wong’s resident. The secretary helped me for some tax application and I have no idea what she did. Finally I have the time to ask Mr. Wong (because he is good at the legal thing). The government should refund me for about Cdn$500 but he told me that the government would never (or takes forever) to refund my money. That is unbelievable and unreasonable! What a corrupted government it is.
April 11, 2003(Friday)
I was the Santa Claus today. I bought some chocolate “gold sand" from Curacao yesterday and gave it to the work people, one each. Basically I only have enough for the receptionists, cleaning ladies, junior engineers and some of my team-mates. I did not give any to my boss because I have given them big present when I returned from Vancouver last Christmas. Obviously what I am doing here is hope to win their heart and improve my relationship with them.
People were nice to me too. The cleaning ladies voluntarily gave me a cup of coffee (I had previously asked for it several times in the last few weeks) and my boss Osmundo bought a McDonald Sundae for everyone, including myself! I am happy.
I need to go to another customer site (Fondo Comun) for a packet capturing. I have previously done something like this for the Seniat and so my boss asked me to go this time. For all the times that I went to customer site, this is the most confident time. I went with the junior engineer (and also my translator) Daniel and the thing went well.
After dining at Ricky’s house, we went to prayer meeting. Pedro led the book Revelation and it was off topic (as usual). We also discussed about the farewell party of Pastor Loh. I was assigned to be organizing the program of that day with Ricky. After the church’s 10th yr anniversary, I found myself escalated to the entire-church-level ministry that beyond my youth-fellowship experience.
April 10, 2003(Thursday)
My Venezuelan residency status was destroyed last December when I got caught in the immigration office in Caracas. Therefore, I am only a tourist in Venezuela and must leave the country every three months. My company paid for my trip to Curacao today. It is a small island in the Caribbean Sea. I have never heard of it prior this week.
I left home at 8:30 and arrived to the scary immigration booth where I was arrested previously at 9:30. Since I am a tourist, I need the arrival paper, which I forgot at home! I am thankful that the officer is nice enough to let me go. The flight was 12:00-12:40. I read a lot of Newsweek magazine during the wait; I tried to study some Cisco notes but lack the motivation. I am not motivated after my exam in November. I must revive myself by August for my MBA.
This is my fifth solo trip; previous times are San Jose in June 2001, Halifax in July 2001, San Jose in August 2002 and Brussels in November 2002. As usual, I spent plenty of time walking; first, I need to ask for a map, know what language they speak (English, Spanish, Dutch and local language) and what currency they use (US Dollar and local currency). I am quite tired today because of the heat from the bright sun. I took a lot of photo too for the people in Vancouver to see.
During the walk, I crossed the “high bridge” one that similar to the bridge in Halifax city centre. It was high (about 15 floors high) and scary but I forced myself to stop at the peak and took several photos of the city. Afterward, the police told me that it is forbidden to walk on the bridge. (I did not see the sign) They asked me to sit inside the car. I thought that I was heading to jail, but actually they just drove me to my destination, which is some arbitrary place because I have no destination. They asked me where I stay and I told them that I am just coming here for one day. Even I feel weird with this answer myself, but that is the truth.
The people in this Island are very friendly. The taxi drivers showed me around and told me information about the island, even though his English has strange accent and I cannot understand. The police was nice enough to be my driver too. However, on my return trip at the airport, the immigration officer at the washroom was mean. I was changing cloth because it was hot outside but cold in the flight. He thought that I am doing something illegal and asked me to go to the immigration room. He searched but could not find anything.
The flight left at 6:50. It first went to Valencia and then arrived to Caracas at 8:00. I took taxi home but I don’t have enough Bolivar for the fee so I have to pay some in US with the exchange rate of 1US to 1000Bs (the official rate is 1600Bs and in the black market, it was from 2000Bs to 3000Bs)
I spent 1.5 hours to write the diary and also prepare for the digital photo so that I can upload them tomorrow easily.
April 09, 2003(Wednesday)
I chatted with a CCIE from China. He is thinking of working at Desca. This is my hope because my job would be secure. Currently, we are hiring for one more CCIE. There are 3 now and we need 4. A possibility is to fire me and then hires two new CCIE from Colombia with a cheaper salary. This is good for the company because these two Colombia would be fluent at Spanish and cost cheaper. There are 8 CCIE in Colombia and if they all turn down, then my boss may hire the new CCIE.
I need to design a course for the junior engineer in my company with the other CCIE Roberto; he will do the teaching. I enjoy teaching; I enjoy staying in the lab and design courseware too.
I spent an hour teaching my company’s financial manager (aka CFO) some networking concept. The first time I heard of him is last November, when my big boss told me that we have hired the CFO from the HP Company. He told me that he reasoned with the CFO about my existence because I am expensive. That was a bit scary at that time. This January, I bluntly went to him and asked about the company’s financial situation causally, which was my first communication with him. Afterward, I asked him for pointer when I was researching about MBA. (He came from a top MBA School in US) I also let him know about my availability if he needs help with the networking concept for quite some times, which is a good way to network with people on the top. I am proud that I can turn from the doubtful relationship last November to a friendly situation now.
I went to Ah Men’s house for dinner again and Chi Kong drove me home afterward.
April 08, 2003(Tuesday)
Today is a quiet day for me. I can do some catch up work in my job. I did a report for the site visit yesterday. Also, I wrote the traffic analysis report for previous customer Seniat.
I went to Ricky's home to talk about church stuff with Mimia. We discussed about the Chinese youth Sunday school because I may leave any time. Most of them are new believers and we need some adults to look after them. However, there is no adult available. Moreover, we talked about the VBS too. I told them that my life changes because of VBS. In summer 1999 when Norman emailed to people in VCAC for VBS help in FCGC, I was the only person responded. It is because I was brought up at church and the church adults really spent lots of time to teach me Sunday School at that time. So I don't want the children without VBS because of lack of teacher. And then when FCGC's Carmel fellowship needs a big brother, they asked me go over because they knew me from VBS. Therefore, this starts my real serving (not that what I did in VCAC is nothing) in fellowship. After this preparation, God sent me to Venezuela to work. All these start with a simple respond to help out in VBS.
April 07, 2003(Monday)
I woke up at 4:40 for a business trip to Valencia (a remote city from Caracas) with a co-worker Daniel. The bus trip was from 6:30 to 9:00am and 5:00 to 7:30pm. Daniel is a junior engineer in my company and was my tour guide and translator for today. As I stated previously, I had a pretty good relationship with this junior group. He taught me some Spanish today and showed me around to different places.
The customer name is called Motoca. They have some SDLC connectivity problem and I am responsible to fix that. None of the people in my company, except one of my boss Mario, have experience with this. I was playing around with different type of configuration from 10 to 3 and have no luck solving the problem. The customer recovered the network in the old way so that they can continue to do business. Therefore, we had to leave at that time.
One good thing about the business trip is that the boss will pay for the bus fare and also the food. I had a good breakfast and lunch (which only total to about Cdn $7). Daniel had to do some personal thing so I travel back alone. I felt like I was taking an airplane flight.
Che So invited me to eat at her house again. I called Carmen at night and talked for quite some times too.
April 06, 2003(Sunday)
We had a Chinese choir performance "not regret one life" (composed by "Uncle West", author of the movie song "all because of you"). This is a love song and I asked Chi Kong and Mrs. Cheng to sing duet. People had fun in the practice too. We had "prayer walk" in the Sunday School. We went outside to the street in several groups and prayed for the people on the street. I taught them something about prayer too.
I had church council meeting 2-5. I told them the urgency to have some people take over me or else the ministry would not sustain when I am not here. Pastor, Pastora Loh and I talked for 2.5 hours. We talked about church politics. It is true that each of them serves God faithfully, but they have different perspective. Therefore, there is misunderstanding. I hope to be a "buffer" or middle person. I don't want to bias to any group.
April 05, 2003(Saturday)
I went to hiking with churches friends (Victor, Wilson, Cristina, Megan, Kin Ping, Cindy) in the morning. Little Cindy (6 yrs old girl) was too tired and I carried her for about 1/3 of the road. That was heavy and tough! Afterward, I went to lunch with Ricky and talked about my job situation. He had some friends that work in Cisco and also other IT company. (Not a lot, but one or two). He will forward my resume to his friends. That would be great if I am able to find the next job. He told me that in this changing world, there is nothing as loyalty. As long as I don't plan to work in the company for over 4 years, I should keep on finding job. That shed some lights to me because he is talking from an employer's perspective. So if my boss expects me to find the next job, I would not have the guilt when finding job while I am working. And my job hopping situation (actually, I was forced to hop because I was laid off every time) is not too worst, just that I am unlucky.
I went to Che So house in the afternoon then to church for the music practice. I went to Che So house to stay over at night. This week, I spent three dinners plus one stay over at her house. I really appreciate her hospitality to me.
April 04, 2003(Friday)
I was told yesterday that I need to go to customer MRW this morning to demonstrate that the problem was resolved; but it turned out that someone else went already. On the other hand, I spent 1.5 hours troubleshooting for the problem for UCV. I was originally assigned to fix the problem this Wednesday. Yesterday people told me that it was fixed but actually not yet. I have not fixed the problem but identified where the problem is.
I emailed my big boss about my travel plan to Vancouver (Hansel is getting marry) in July and Indiana USA (Online MBA) in August. I was requesting for a one-week training course between Jul 28 ?Aug 8 so that I can save the air ticket back to Venezuela in the mean time. It costs USD $881 for a two-way ticket between Caracas and Vancouver and USD $1032 between Caracas and Indiana. On the other hand, a round trip ticket Caracas to Vancouver to Indiana and to Caracas costs only USD$939. It makes sense financially and is my best plan.
He gave me a bad reply. He said that there is no money for training now. In addition, since I have to leave the country every three months (because I don’t have Venezuelan residency), it *may* be necessary to terminate the contract. Bad. What struck me the most is that, he announced in the general meeting in Feb 12 that I will be one of the last to be laid off. He even had a Colombia working plan for me previously. Now he suddenly changes his attitude. I was working very hard and being Mr. Nice all the time. So why? (Typical complain for God after people suffer). Because I can not solve problems? Not technically competent? Or hidden financial turmoil for the company?
Usually when these kinds of thing happen, I need to think and quiet. Hence, I went for a walk and got myself a McDonald ice-cream cone! Here are some of my instant thoughts: I need a job because MBA (about US$40,000 for two years!) and wedding are expensive. The after-tax take-home pay here is good; I want to help out the church too. Moreover, the worst case scenario is that, not only I get laid off but also I don’t get my salary in the last several months in US dollar but in Bolivar because the company has no US dollar.
On the positive side, it does bring me back to the basic of life. It helps me to identify what is important and what is not. At worst, I am financially back to May 2002. However, I learnt A LOT during the past 12 months. What I was trying to focus previously is the "bonus" - let my boss pay for the training and also the air ticket to save me some money. The basic is that, if he is not willing to do it, I *may* still have a job. (Of course, having a cancer or car accident or family tragedy will bring me even deeper to the basic of life!) I was trained to be positive and I am proud that I will not jump off the building if bad thing happens. I know that things are in God's hand. Being laid off twice in three years helps too! Finally, he said that it may be too expensive for the company because I need to leave the country every three months. So if I pay for that trip, would it change his mind?
So here are my future plans. I will not have training. So if I did not get laid off, then I will go back to Vancouver Jul 4-20 and then to Indiana in Aug 10-16. Yes, this is expensive, but at least cheaper than taking Jul 20-Aug 10 as vacation or getting laid off! And if I get laid off, (either May 18, my one year in Desca, or hopefully after Jul 3) then I will find a job. It would be best to find a job in USA (or China?) as a network engineer and then study for MBA online simultaneously. It would be even better if they support financially my studying! If not, I hope to have a job as any kind of “junior?computer engineer in Vancouver (an old man like me competes with fresh university grad?). This is not a good choice but better than not working. Before I find a job, I can be a tutor. Now I must do job search again and hope that the Iraq war end and US economy rebound. (Well, instead of asking this miracle, it may be easier to ask for my boss not laying me off)
It takes me 2.5 hours to arrive to this analysis. I felt sad and blank when I receive his email in 2:00pm. However, after the walk, ice-cream and icq to Carmen, things are more or less sorted out. I am quick to recover.
After dinner at Ricky's house, we went to prayer meeting. Today, instead of studying the book of Revelation, we have devotion sharing. It is quite quiet, until people shared about the SARS disease. Afterward, I told (almost rebuke) them that this should not be the way. Most of them are Christians for longer than I am (>12 yrs!) but yet they do not have much to share. However, when it comes to SARS disease (or church politics), there is a lot of sharing. It is true that these people are more dedicated than the Christians I met in Vancouver or HK; I still hope that they can improve the situation. I even said that the church is like these because the people are not dedicating enough. Why do I suddenly have the mood to share this deep feeling in my heart? Probably what happened during today helps too!
I had quite detailed info on my online diary for the last few days. However, I would like to tell you, the reader, that my personal diary (which I have maintained everyday since 1991) is not as detail. For example, I only had 9 lines (1/8 of this online diary) in my personal diary. I should revisit this online diary when I am old.
April 03, 2003(Thursday)
After working on the Seniat traffic report, my boss asked me to go to customer site (out of the blue again) to fix something. It seems like that there is a lot of surprise lately. Actually my boss asked Roberto to do the job first and he said that he is with something. And when my boss knew that I am doing that report, Roberto said that it is not an urgent thing, so my boss asked me to go instead of Roberto. I am kind of mad at that time because he "put me on the table".
Usually I go home for lunch everyday to sleep, exercise, shower and practice piano. (All done within my two hours lunch period!) Today I have to stay at work to do this job. And then, I went with another co-worker to customer MRW from 2 to 4. The problem is not completely solved but the ISP has slow connection so we went back to office. I quite enjoy going to work with the support group members. Their "rank" and age group is smaller than the "consultant" group (my group). They are quite friendly to me, and they know little English so I can practice Spanish with them. I went with these people several times already.
My boss told me that I must solve the problem completely today. There is some stress and pressure here. Luckily by 7pm, things are more positive, so I can leave and go to MRW again tomorrow. I went to Che So's house for dinner. This is the third time this week! She cooked some Chinese soup and asked me to go to drink.
I got nice encouragement from Carmen and my dad about the diary I wrote yesterday. It is good to know that I have a strong backup in Vancouver. If anything does not work out, there is still a place I can go to. Of course, I will not give up so easily.
My visa to Venezuela will expire in a week. A Canadian Citizen only has 3 months stay in Venezuela. Therefore, next Thursday I am going to Curacao for a day in order to renew my visa. Curacao is a small country in the Caribbean Sea and should be a nice place for honeymoon. I am going there a day and take the Dutch Caribbean Airline which only cost USD $99. Here is the schedule:
Apr. 10 (Thur)
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DC930 Caracas - Curacao
11:30 - 12:15
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Apr. 10 (Thur)
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DC 930 Curacao - Caracas
18:00 - 19:40
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April 02, 2003(Wednesday)
There was a customer that has IPSec problem and I spent 2.5 hours to troubleshoot it in the morning. It should be easy but I cannot solve it. My technical skill is rusty. The ISP connection was broken so I need to revisit it tomorrow. I went for hair cut during lunch and had a "military style" short hair. I went there and said only "muy carto" (very short). I gave a Bs10,000 bill (about Cdn $10) and she gave me Bs3500 changes. No other conversation is needed.
I got an email from my co-worker, Roberto. It was in Spanish and every letter is capitalized. He was complaining (wow, the entire email was in CAPITAL LETTER!) that my chair always hit his chair (we sat back to back inside a small place. "Sometimes" my chair hit his and vice versa) and interrupted his studying. He sat behind me but we seldom talk after January (about the time he said he passed but actually he failed his CCIE test) but email instead. E-world! He wrote in Spanish that if you don't understand the email, ask my friend for explanation. If I don't understand, how do I know about this sentence? This is the first time that he emails to me in Spanish. Anyway, every company email is in Spanish and I use a free translation website to translate the email. I remembered that in Vancouver when a Caucasian join a group of Chinese, the conversation would change from Chinese to English. Venezuelans are seldom as nice. He did not cc this email to anyone, but who knows whether he “bcc?the email to my boss or not!
I was shock, upset and angry in the first instance. However, I felt funny and pity for him afterward. He failed his test three times (I passed it first chance) and jealous. This is the only way that can make him feel better. He talks to everyone except me; share snack (just once) with everyone except me. (I am sure that other people can feel his special treatment towards me) Anyway, I apologized by replying his email and also verbally. I even voluntarily shake his hand! It must make him shock and uncomfortable because I did not act like I hate him. Every time, including after this incident, I would voluntarily say hi/bye to him (and to other people). Sometimes he HAS to answer or else it looks like he is deaf. I do not care how he treats me; my job is to be as nice as possible myself. I am sure that the people in the surrounding would be puzzle about I apologize to him (and also keep on being nice) without knowing his email. To treat him nice, according to the Bible, is like pouring red-hot carbon onto his head. I don't have a big urge to revenge because I know he is spiritually and emotionally poor, especially failing exam and probably receive ugly face from boss. According his personality, I am sure that he will say bad thing about me to other people, especially to my boss. There is nothing that I can do. This is not Hubert if I revenge by bad mouth though. (The Venezuela Baptist Church politics really teaches me something!) Previously I gave a lot of support and assistance to him but why does he treat me like this? Because he sucks?
I felt that I handle crisis professionally without any complain nor argument. This is exactly Proverb 15:1 "A gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger". I am proud of myself and also the capacity of my spiritual life that allows me to absorb this danger. If this maintain, I would be a great man! (However, I worry that all these get accumulated and I will burst out one day. I hope that this will not be the case)
This incident actually brought up my SUPER Mr. Nice working personality. I don't think anyone can be nicer under my circumstances. I am trying to please every person, no matter he or she is my supervisor, co-worker or cleaning ladies. It is obvious that I need to "brush the shoes" of my boss. However, I also tried to talk (in Spanish) to the receptionist (even sometimes she is too busy to talk back) and try to make the job of the cleaning ladies easier; I joked with as many people as possible and pat the shoulder of my male co-worker. I remember early this week when the receptionist understands my request (in Spanish) of faxing something (the GMAT additional score report for IU MBA), the cleaning ladies praised the receptionist. (Here is my Spanish ability: Read ?ok because every email is in Spanish; write ?not as easy but ok with the translator, however the word may not be good; listen ?if they speak slow, I can understand some; speak ?this is the hard part that I am not good at yet) I have never treated a group of people so nice.
And this is how I was treated. For most people, they would reply to my hi. However, when I talk to someone, anyone would have a priority over me. Let say, I was talking to A. When B came, then A will talk to B and ignore me. No matter A and B are supervisors or receptionists, I am their last priority. (At least, they talk to me. What more can I ask? But I must say that I am not happy about this) Of course, when A and B are talking, I would wait until they finish. The “hostile?group is my team with obvious reason ?my salary (and Roberto) is higher. Money matters! They will ignore my hi sometimes but greet each of my neighbour warmly. Today’s case is quite extreme.
Here is my perspective about the entire situation. I strongly believe that being Mr. Nice will eventually pay off. I need to be Mr. Nice or else there will be no one on my side (even though now there is no one on my side anyway) and suffer. From a Christianity perspective, I need to be the light and the salt. I want them think that “chino is nice?rather than “chino is weird? God must be preparing me now so that I can be ready for something bigger (as if going alone from Vancouver to Venezuela is not challenging enough). I don’t have a choice so why don’t I view the entire situation positively and happily? I learnt several days ago that I really need to ask for strength for the day-to-day work. Not only for the people relationship but also the technical ability. I don’t know the future but I know who holds the future!
I went to Ah Man's house to dinner. The church friends are nice to me and treated me for dinner (every night!), and packed food for me so that I can have lunch tomorrow. I am always toggling between this extremely nice situation and the hostile environment. I spent 1.5 hours writing and proofreading this diary because I really want you to know what I am going through now, yet don’t worry about me because I am doing fine.
April 01, 2003(Tuesday)
Today was a busy work day for me. I have to write a report for the customer Banco de Caribe that I went yesterday. In addition, I have to open another Cisco TAC case for NetUNO. It took a long time to make the long distance telephone call to USA. I am glad that I don't have to pay the money. Every time I call a different Cisco Engineer, I have to explain to him about how to communicate and also the nature of the problem. I have done that for over 10 times this year and almost drove me nuts.
I got a Federal express mail that I am accepted to the Indiana University (IU) MBA Online program. I am not very surprised by that but I am relieved. I only apply for one university. I remembered that I only apply for SFU for the master of engineering too. And I applied for both UBC and SFU for undergrad but SFU rejected me at the undergrad level because of my relatively low TOEFL score. (Other than that, I can get to whatever university I want to). I spent some time to check the info and emailed them with some questions too.
I went to church at night to have a brief meeting about the April outreach. In addition, we discussed that we should change the date of the Chinese Praise and Worship from Apr 18 to the middle of May because people would not have the energy after the long combined meeting. We also tried to translate the song "Sumergeme" from Spanish to Chinese. Chi Kong and I went to Che So's house for dinner and talked about the Chinese PW program briefly. There is only very few people that knows how to sing (And don't even think about sing WELL!)