My Life at October 2002
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October 31, 2002 (Thursday)
I took the morning off today in order to prepare for my 8 hours straight studying from 12-8pm. It was a tough and exhausting time. But that will be what I exactly have to go through during the exam, minus the stress and the worry, plus the good night sleep.
My mind was about to burn out by 7pm. Therefore, I stopped working at 7:30pm. I walked to church for 30 mins. Instead of the Baptismal class, we talked about my Sunday School and Tuesday night Outreach. People noticed that I looked tired. Actually I did not felt very tired. It was just a mixed of tired and thinking. I packed for a while at night and went to bed at 11pm. (Carmen phoned at 1:30am and chatted for 3 mins. She tried to call before but no one answered. And I received mysterious call with no one on the other end. I guess that that is her.)
October 30, 2002 (Wednesday)
Another day of hard work. I had the rental lab at 4-8. Therefore, I spent the time doing at night. Nothing really interesting happened today. The exam is getting closer and I am getting more excited too!
October 29, 2002 (Tuesday)
One of the people in our group went to Cisco in US to work for several months. Desca asked him to go in order to broaden his experience. This is a huge invest because Desca would not get anything during that several months but still have to pay the salary. This person came back today; people welcomed him warmly. Well, I wonder that one day if I left the company, would anyone still remember me. That is quite sad. (But on the other hand, if I leave Venezuela, I am sure that the two churches will remember me! After all, this is the church people that I care, not the work) This "split" personality existed in me since I started to develop a strong relationship with church during 1992.
I was quite bored in work today. I was waiting for the DirecTV installation. And I did not rented the lab time today.
At night time it was the first "last Tuesday of the month" outreach. I thought that church has a guitar electric chord but that proved to be a mistake. People spent the first 10 mins troubleshoot this. Of course I am not going to waste the time of others and started right away. There were about 30-40 people altogether. I do not know half of them. This Tuesday program actually started in the afternoon and there were actually 10 more people but they left. Other than I spoke fast in the beginning, everything else were ok. I even sang solo for the first time! There was one person accepted Christ. I hoped that they like this kind of program and willing to return next month.
Some youths invited me to go out afterwards. I thought that we were going to some "drink thing" place to chat but it turned out that they were going to Karaoke. They wanted to hear me sing (hey, my fans!) but I refused, not that I am shy but because I do not know any of these songs. I also told them that I am more music-instrument-oriented while Carmen sang way better than I do. (I guess that when Carmen reads this, she would tease me again) Hope that when Carmen comes here in December, she will show them what is really meant by singing. :-)
The Baptist Church told me that I am quite "welcomed" in the church, no matter they are old or young. Of course, I am happy about that. I am very thankful that I have the "beloved" feeling in this strange and new country. However, I must be very cautious about this too. There are politics in the church and I am putting myself in a very dangerous position. If I use it well, I can help people. On the other hand, if I say anything wrong, I would make people stumbled. In some occasion, I find myself to be too influential. I want to prevent myself involve in any of those politics too. And Jesus says that, when everyone says that I am good, then I am in trouble. These are something that I must beware about.
October 28, 2002 (Monday)
There is nothing much happening at work today. I have nothing much to do except preparing the long night. I went out for a walk and relaxed myself. I felt quite sleepy.
The studying started from 8-12. It used to be 7-11pm (because I rented the 4-8pm Western Time). However, after the end of the summer time in North America, it turned out to be 8pm-12am. I was quite productive at that time, and I did icq my parents too.
I was not the only person at work during that time. There were two more people. One was working as night shift and the other one was studying for some Cisco exam. Therefore, I did not feel as lonely.
I was home at 12:30am. After some Tetris (my favorite game) to slow down my brain, I went to bed.
October 27, 2002 (Sunday)
I taught the Youth Sunday School in Baptist Church second time. Actually my plan is to make it a Chinese youth fellowship. People seemed to be enjoying the game, songs and story time (This is the overview of the entire Bible in 18 times. I prepared this in 1997-98 in VCAC Canaan fellowship and the taught once again in FCGC in 2000-01) I prepared. Now I have earned a very high respect among the Chinese congregation in the Baptist Church, no matter they are youth or older people. They always called me "Hubert teacher" and applauded at my work. It even made me, a very "hu" person, quite embarrass sometimes. Of course, I will tell them to return the glory to God. I guess once I know that I am important among that group, I do not need people to praise me *too often*, speaking from the bottom of my heart.
We practiced the song for the coming Tuesday outreach and then I chaired a brief meeting about the future monthly outreach. I had tones of experience that I wish to download to them. They seemed to be quite naive and do not know how to do this kind of program. I enjoy serving in this kind of outreach and the Chinese Sunday School/fellowship more than the music ministry. Music is just a tool and people are the end. However, in Venezuela, music is my stepping stone to serve in the two churches.
After the meeting, I was late to MB Church. And I slept for 35 mins during their Sunday School time. Of course, I did not sleep in the classroom but went to a quiet place for a nap. It is quite exhausting to be in charge of so many things in the morning, no matter how much I enjoy it. The reason I went to MB Church is more about the meeting for the singspiration meeting in the join retreat next March. They talked in Spanish and I have no idea what they talked. However, in the second half of the meeting when I start to speak, most of them changed to a Chinese mode.
I spent 28 mins skimming through the entire book of Genesis. I am planning to have the story time for the entire Bible in 18 weeks for the Baptist Church youth fellowship. I am asking them to read through the entire Bible in 18 weeks. I, be the person who ask, must set a good example and be faithful in this request too.
There is many opportunity to serve in the two churches here. I enjoy this feeling much more than several months ago when I have nothing to do. The huge challenge lying in front of me is the "church politic". There are quite a lot in the two churches and I must be careful. Not offend anyone without losing my ground.
October 26, 2002 (Saturday)
Today is my planned relax day. It is always good to stay home for the whole day and relax. I spent quite some time to play with YiSon. That is a good way to relax and to spend the time at home. I do not go to window shopping and there is no church meeting today. It will be boring.
Carmen gave me a call during my afternoon nap. We chatted for quite a while and told her about the church ministries that I am involving and so on. During the call, people from my company called me. He went to a town to install the equipment for the DirecTV project. The thing that I did does not work. I had to sacrifice my relaxing day and went to work. Of course I did not enjoy that, but this is what I am paid for. I also recalled Dr. Chu told me that the doctor would not be a good mood when he receives a call in the middle of the night about some urgent surgery. I can perfectly see why now. I am also thankful that this happens on this time, not during a time that I am in church doing something or in the middle of the night. However, I must plan ahead so that there will be someone back me up during my visit to Belgium.
The problem is with the Virtual Private Network (VPN) IP Security (IPSec) that I configured. By deleting the commands and retyping the commands, it works again. I have no idea why but IPSec always gave me problem during my studying. Is Cisco like Microsoft, where if I shut down and restart it and it works again? By the way, my test on next week is exactly on VPN and IPSec. If I can not troubleshoot it (which I can!), then I will be in a big problem. I treasure these real life working experience because so far most of the knowledge that I posses are in a lab environment.
Since I am at work, I studied a while. Not to my surprise, I am not the only person here. There are a few junior people here studying for exams too. And of course, the other CCIE that will take the Security CCIE test in Nov 20 was also here studying. However, he is not as focus and as concentrated as I am.
As usual there is protest about the government. I went by the plaza that is located closed to my office. There were many people, not with an angry mood but a celebrating mood. There are people selling food and other souvenir. The only difference is that, the event is a protest instead of a festival. People sang songs, walked and bought stuff.
October 25, 2002 (Friday)
It was raining on the way to work. I brought my umbrella. One of the best things is to see those people without umbrella, especially those dressed with business suit, getting wet in the street. There are many holes in the street and they
are flooded with water during the raining time. When we need to cross the road, we need to either jump over, walk over or go to a further place where the water level is not as high. I saw a business dressed ladies without umbrella landed into the water, which cover her entire feet. It is so funny to see her expression.
I rented the remote lab in the afternoon practiced again. I cannot believe that next week this time I will be on the flight for the exam already.
I went to Baptist Church for prayer meeting at night. It is always sad to hear the church politics, no matter which church I go. God gave us a united heart but people always split this to several parts.
October 24, 2002 (Thursday)
I used to take taxi to and from DirecTV for the last several weeks. I was told that I can not reimburse the taxi money from now on because there is a separate "transportation" expense for me each month. Well, no more free taxi service :(
I went to Baptist Church at night. Pastor Joseph and Helen Lee was there. They were missionaries from Vancouver who had been in Peru and Guatemala for many years. People from my church went to have "short term ministry" to their site often too. I knew them, but they did not know me (but now they do). We had good food and many left over; I brought them home so that I will have good food for the rest of the week.
I went home at night and played Tetris from game boy again. I am addicted to this game now (just like how I was 12 years ago).
October 23, 2002 (Wednesday)
There were a lot of people demonstrated (again!) against the president. He is such a influential figure that he is able to make the whole city to hate him and write songs defiling him. The demonstration seems to me like a large scale party. People were honking, shouting and waving the Venezuelan flag. It made me feel excited too.
I finally had a talk with my parents. The phone card did not work so they called me instead. It is good to know that everything in Vancouver are normal.
YiSon broke the TV last week and there were someone came here to pick up the broken TV. YiSon looked at that and repeated the phase "did did ah" (fallen in Chinese) about a hundred times within that 30 mins. He was pointing the finger at the TV, with an innocent look, conveying the message "did did ah" to me many times too. It is so funny to see this. I scare him that I will put him inside the TV. He then hold me very tight to show his fear. I also made some noise to simulate the fallen TV in order to scare him. He responded with that little innocent look with the word "did did ah" again. Now he is afraid to even touch a TV. That is so funny.
October 22, 2002 (Tuesday)
I was challenged before lunch time by a co-worker that why I always disappear after lunch time. I explained that I was working in DirecTV for the last couple of weeks. Well, I still need to build up the trust.
Today is another day of "anti-government". There were 12 high rank army officer stopped recognizing the president as the president. People everywhere honked like crazy for protesting against the government. People also gathered together for demonstration.
One way to relax is to play with YiSon. I shared my sausages with him, and my ice-cream too (something like, "he one mouth, I one mouth" of ice cream). That was fun and entertaining, both seeing his reaction of eating the cold ice cream and teaching him how to say "please", "thank you" and "ice cream".
Chi Kong from MB church came to my house at night to discuss about the singspiration in the retreat of Mar 2002. Too bad that it is in Spanish, or else I can "shine" (or I should say, I am thankful that it is in Spanish, or else I will be "hu" again).
October 21, 2002 (Monday)
Today is another "on-strike" day and thus there is no work. It is a study day for me. I rented the remote lab and worked for 4 hours. Originally I wanted to rent for eight hours but there is no availability.
The city is a bit weird today. When I exited from the Metro, there were two soldiers carrying long gun. And people everywhere horned for some rhythm. On the way back home, the metro somehow stopped at my second last station and I had to walk for 10 mins.
October 20, 2002 (Sunday)
I taught the youth Sunday School of Baptist Church in the morning. There were six people in my class. Actually we spent most of the time in sharing about ourselves. In my opinion, they need sharing and fellowship more than learning. I was trying to make this more like a fellowship than a Sunday School. Afterward there was pot luck; we then practiced the music for Oct 29 Outreach night.
I went to MB Church afterward. Instead of attending the service, I hide in a room and rest. It is tiring to go out the whole day. (Am I getting old?) During their Sunday School time, I as usual looked after YiSon and other kids. The Spanish youth invited me for a short meeting that discusses the singspiration leading for the Retreat next March. It turned out to be an unhappy argument. It was more or less like the experience I had previously. It was not the youth but the mom of a youth that was nasty. I am glad that I do not understand Spanish, or else I would response nasty too! (She argued in Chinese, but since the rest of them talked in Spanish, I may have missed some detail)
We had the second Chinese fellowship at night. It was not as good as I expected. The food was late and I was mentally tired after responsible for the whole day too.
October 19, 2002 (Saturday)
I spent 8 hours at work studying for my exam because I rented the lab. The connection was really slow and it made me mad. I also photocopied some fellowship stuff and song books. It was an exhausting day. The worst part is yet to come though. I bought a "subway" type of bread for dinner. It was hard and dry and tasted awful (I fully aware that many people in Venezuela can not afford this Cdn $3.5 food). I missed all the good food that I used to have.
I purchased a phone card previously but I do not know how to make it work. I really want to call home and call Carmen however I can't. Carmen called me at night and we talked about lots of thing. Every time when I talked to her, it brings back my memories in Vancouver and decreased the rate of my "de-N.American-ize".
October 18, 2002 (Friday)
I was at DirecTV the whole day because I was told that there will be people here in the morning for the "cut over". However, that did not happen until afternoon. Therefore, I spent most of the time practicing and studying my exam because there were lots of equipments there.
I went to the prayer meeting at Baptist Church at night. I did not initiate the family singspiration for the MB Church. There are several reasons to it. First, I am taking an exam soon and I do not want to be distracted by that. They do not seem to be too enthusiastic in this anyway. I found that attending two churches is quite heavy for me. It is ok if there is only music serving. However, since I can see the potential of serving in the Chinese fellowship too, it is better to stick with one. It is a pain to choose one now, but I am still waiting for the best time. Since the Baptist Church people treated me very good, I really want to be there. (However, in September, since I was involved in the music ministry for the Chinese Community, I was more stick to the MB Church)
I was preparing something for the MB Church Chinese fellowship at night. Overwhelmed with the amount of work again.
October 17, 2002 (Thursday)
I went to the Chinese cell group at Baptist Church at night. I taught them some new songs (which I have known for about 10 years!). Pastor Loh also reminded us (particular me?) that God will require more from those that He has given more.
I talked to Mrs. Wong about the Baptist Church function. I expressed concern that I suddenly serve too much in church and must beware about the human relationship too. She also told me that she would like to "hand over" the Chinese youth to me and I have a separate group of Sunday School class for them. It surely sounds exciting to me, but I feel that attending two churches at once would be a problem. I am having good relationship with two churches and it would be a pain to leave any of these now.
October 16, 2002 (Wednesday)
I went home during lunch time and saw a beggar. This is a very common thing in Venezuela. When I was in Vancouver, I always saw the homeless people asking for money. I was not sure what I should do to them because I had a feeling that they were cheater.
This situation became more common in Venezuela. People told me that I would always see women carrying babies and beg for money. There is some kind of organization that brought these women from the Amazon area and be a "professional" beggar. Pastor Semson told me that the woman may be a cheater but the baby definitely is not. Therefore, he will give some spare change to the woman because of the baby.
Today when I was at the metro station, I saw a woman beggar by herself sitting there begged for money. I walked away, but during that several steps I felt heavily convicted to give some money. Therefore, I returned and gave her 100Bs (which is about 10 Canadian cents) This little change does very little to myself but I am sure that that would help that woman. I am not sure that whether she is a cheater or not. However, I just know that life is too unfair for her. The Bible taught us to share the possession with the poor. I find that to be a bit too extreme.
I also think that, is there hope in her life? If I can perform miracle, I would be like Peter and John and asked her to stand up (Acts 3). I have never seen this kind of hopeless person in Vancouver (Most of the beggars in Vancouver are either adult, drug addict or drunk). I do not mind to give even $10 but that may caused me robbed (most of the people here only have several dollars in their pocket!)
I still do not know what to do, besides having a little bit of spare change in my pocket, when I see this kind of hopeless person again. I just want to complain that why some of the elites are so rich and not willing to share their wealth and make the world better. However, when I have this thought, I would question myself, am I one of this elite? From a Venezuelan perspective, anyone has an income of over $300 is considered to be top 20%. So what should I do? and What would Jesus do?
After working in DirecTV in the afternoon, I went home relaxing, listening to some Christian tape that I brought over in August (the TV is broken) and studying.
October 15, 2002 (Tuesday)
I went home in the lunch time. YiSon was quite naughty that he pulled the TV down. The glass hit the floor and this several-months-old TV was broken. Of course Mrs. Chu was annoyed by this. It is funnier to see how YiSon reacted though. He was so scared afterward that when he looked at this broken TV, he cried. Also, when I tried to put him into the hole that used to hold the TV, he was scared too. This is a good lesson for him, and from now on, he can not see any TV. (But the true sufferer is Mrs. Chu because there is nothing else that can keep YiSon quiet)
I rented the remote lab and spent 8 hours studying that. I felt that I would have about 40% chances to pass, given there is no surprise.
October 14, 2002 (Monday)
For some reason, I was quite tired. An hour sleep after my devotion in the morning and an hour afternoon nap made it even worse. That adds up to about 8.5 hours. Am I over-slept?
I went to DirecTV in the afternoon. They were planning a cut-over for two or three weeks already but the service provider was so slow that they can not yet do it. I really hope to get rid of this project soon or else it would affect my CCIE studying.
Rather than studying, I was preparing song lists for the Oct 20 MB Church Chinese Fellowship and Oct 29 Baptist Church Outreach. I looked through a lot of Chinese songs that I used to sing in around 1995 when I was in Hebron. It brought back a lot of memories. I had such a fruitful and happy fellowship life!
October 13, 2002 (Sunday)
Since I was out the whole day yesterday, I did not want to attend two churches today. After all, it is quite demanding to go to two churches, especially they are not "my style" (i.e. boring). I struggled to skip MB Church. I found out that it was canceled anyway (quite rare) because there was demonstration around that area.
I stayed at Baptist Church to study and to sleep. It was a bit relaxing (but of course if I were at home, it would be much more relaxing. However, I may not be able to concentrate as much on studying if that is the case though). At night, I had dinner with Pastor's family, Ricky Lam and another Mr. Lam. This is to celebrate the Thanksgiving Day in Canada. Ironically, I did not celebrate much when I was in Canada.
On the way home, Ricky told me the importance of insurance in US. He had a friend in US that happened to have an accident and made a person crippled. Her insurance was expired for only two hours. And that caused her and her family more than ten million dollars. Every time when the pay cheque comes, a huge portion was gone to that crippled person. They can only maintain their basic living. Even a music lesson for their young kids is a luxury. I am thinking, would that happen to me? Since I had a feeling that God would have some thing big for me (not necessary something bad. But I just list the negative thing here), what would that be? Accident? Health problem? Losing job? These are bad but not worst. When I accidentally (of course! I would not do that on purpose) harm someone, the guilt is extremely bad. To make it worse is the case about, when my family suffered with me. Pray to God that this would not happen to me.
October 12, 2002 (Saturday)
I woke up very early in the morning (5:15am). Probably Hansel in Vancouver had not gone to bed yet at that time. And then there are about 45 Baptist Church and MB Church people went to beach to swim. It was about 2 hours drive. The tide ("long" in Chinese) was huge. I had a hard time to walk away from the shore. Sometimes I even had flipped because of the strong tide. But that was fun. I had put on sun screen. I hope that I will not be burnt this time.
I tried to study at night, but the motivation and energy were not there. Carmen gave me a phone call at night. That was relaxing and good to hear her voice.
October 11, 2002 (Friday)
I rented a remote lab again and concentrated on studying from 11 to 7 pm. Usually it takes about an hour to load the initial configuration (How slow my connection is! For most of the time, I type faster than the display!) For the previous two times I rented a four hours slot. Today's eight hours slot is more productive. And the connection did not hang up (like what happened last two times) and my mind is more focus. If I am taking the test today, with some luck, I would have 30% passing chance.
I did not go to Baptist church for prayer meeting and there was no family singspiration tonight. Rather, there was a family Bible study (that rotates from places to places) led by Pastor Semson.
October 10, 2002 (Thursday)
Today is the demonstration day for the Venezuelan against the government. Most of the companies and shops are closed because there was a march. My boss, however, wanted us to go to work. However, since most of the co-workers went for the march, the rest of us went home during lunch. When I walked back to the metro station, I saw many people. The streets were all packed. I only experienced that in Vancouver Sun Run or the 1989 Tiananmen Square strike in HK. I walked anti-flow to the metro station. That was quite challenge. Well, to be a person that does not follow the general trend is difficult.
I spent the rest of the day at home relaxing and studying. Originally there was a cell group at Baptist Church but it was canceled because of the instability.
I watched a Chinese movie called "Forever and Ever" (if directed translated, it is four words: "earth long [time-wise] sky long [length-wise]"). This is not a Christian movie but has many Christianity value in it. It talks about a person, Siu Fu, who was born with some blood disease. The hospital is almost his home. When he was about 17, he got AIDS because of the mistakes made by the nurse. His mom was with him and encourages him along the way. His positive attitude encouraged many people during his 23 years life span. One of his famous quotes is, "it does not how long you live, only whether it is abundant or not that matter". He also likes to write and pursuing to graduate from university and become a writer.
It gives me some reflection. I always want to influence others. And I have a feeling that God is preparing some kind of "bad luck" (or trial, depends how you put it) that are waiting for me to conquer. And if I am able to overcome it, I will be "pure as gold" and become a good testimony. The result sounds very exciting to me, but I am sure that there will be a lot of cry along the way. What will I feel when I am in the midst of it, and read what I am writing now?
October 09, 2002 (Wednesday)
I did not think that anyone in Venezuela were aware that today is my birthday. However, I want to hear someone says this to me. So I decided to tell YiSon and teaching him speaks "happy birthday". When I say "happy", he can only learnt "py" and when I taught him "birthday" he can only says "day". Therefore, I can only hear "py day" separately (i.e. I said between "py" that the next one is "birthday") But at least better than nothing.
My parents and Hansel gave me a phone call to my cell. I actually get to hear real life "happy birthday". This is so good. And Hansel reminded me that it is one year anniversary for him to work. Time really flies. I still remember when Hansel is not listening to me and not willing to take Gr 10 Math when he was in Gr 9.
The best way for me to spend my birthday is to take an exam. I took the Cisco IP Telephony (9E0-402 CIPT) Exam today. That is NOT FAIR that I pass the exam. The passing mark is about 50% (or 700 in a scale of 300 to 1000). I do not know 60% of the questions. I was quite (about 70%) sure that I will fair the test when I did the last question. I prepared to break the pencil (a way to release my anger if I fair the test. I did it once when I failed it last time). What a surprise! The first thought is "no sky reason" (a Chinese phase that means that the heaven is not fair). But I pass the test, what the heck.
This is how I rationalize I managed to pass the exam. I am excellent in common sense and guessing the mind of the question writer. In a multiple choice question, I can more or less eliminate several of them and left with two. That means that I can take any test and still manage to get a decent score. Of course I have a bit of luck too. The pass exam this time actually does not help at all. (I hate project course in university. I usually perform poor in that kind of course. I like the "bursty" exam nature. This is opposite to my character though, because I am a constant level person rather than a bursty person)
I went to Ricky Lam's house at night. Guess what? That is actually a surprise party for me by the Baptist Church. This is an idea from my sweet Carmen. Originally I planned to spend my 28th birthday weeping in the corner (or something close to that) but she prevented me from this disaster. During this kind of festival I especially miss my family and Carmen. However, her thought and the love of the church prevented me from this down feeling. I felt lifted and happy. Thank you Carmen and thank you Baptist Church. We ate (they all wanted to prevent my birthday meal from getting sausage and egg alone. So they cooked a lot and I can bring some home to eat), played a game and also ate a birthday cake. I was so full, both physically, emotionally and spiritually. I find that I owe this church too much!
I also recalled that every birthday in my childhood, my parents would host a birthday party for me and my cousin. This is a good tradition that should be continued for my children too. Also, since Carmen and I have the same birthday, I always think that there is no way to surprise her. Well, she proved it otherwise. This is actually a very good birthday gift - the sense of love and prevention of loneliness.
I am sometimes quite opposing to the idea of a birthday party held in church. It is something that is not too fair. Of course, the person that has someone to celebrate would be very happy. However, what happen to those that has a birthday but no one celebrates with them? One question that hit me hard yesterday is, "why me?". (Well, because Carmen told Pastor Loh!) I am sure that there are other people in the church that passed their birthday quietly without anyone noticing it. It actually brings along with a lot of other "why" questions that I have. Why I have a healthy and loving family? Why I have such a open-minded and well-respected grandfather? Why my parents are not divorced but dedicated their 200% to the family? Why Hansel and I has a relationship as thick as it can possibility be? Why I do not have a wicked girl friend but have one that is so sweet to me and give me support that beyond her ability? Why my Vancouver friends not only remember me in their prayers but also treat me as their very best friend? Why I am not poor? Why I am able to use the Internet and have the advanced knowledge? Why I am healthy? Why I was chosen to be a servant of God? Why my life is a blessing to myself and a blessing to others? And why my computer has not yet crashed and caused me to lose all these thought?
Life is so UNFAIR. But that is the way it will be. There is no way, or ever would have a way, to find out the answer. So I do not need to spend the time here thinking about it, just live my life continuously. Well, hopefully that all these questions will come in handy when one day, I have cancer or have accident or some other bad thing happens to my surrounding.
October 08, 2002 (Tuesday)
I rented the remote lab and I spent four hour around noon doing the lab. For some reason, that is not the exact equipments that I requested, so I wasted sometime here and there. The company promised to give me another time slot. I do not really care because my company is paying for that anyway. I found out that without an afternoon nap makes me so tired. I really need the 8.5 hours of sleep a day!
I saw some photo about Canaanite went to a short term ministry. It once again ignites my thought about the use of STM. Previously I thought that the STM people are dedicated and willing to spread the gospel. For some reasons, I felt disgusted about the STM thing. Local people treated them differently; they are the special group of people and the "everyone is equal" concept is missing. And the ministry is not long lasting because there is no follow up involve.
I went home early (6:30pm) and caught up with my sleep. Did some studying at night too.
October 07, 2002 (Monday)
I went with Pastor Loh and his wife to look at an apartment. The apartment itself is quite good. The price range is reasonable too. The husband of the family is able to speak English (although he smokes). That is a local family and I think that they are catholic. The only complain that I have is that it is about 5 mins walk from the metro. It sounds ok but actually it would adds up if I have to walk through that 4 times a day (go to work, go home for lunch, go back to work and go home at night). Pastor Loh will bring me to some other house later.
After lunch with them, I directly go to DirecTV for work. I arrived home at 6:50. I left my room door open when I practice piano. And then YiSon (and the Chu family) came home and walked inside my room. He even tried to touch my violin. Usually I am "Mr. Good". I asked him to leave me alone but he did not listen. Mrs. Chu asked him to go out and he stayed too. Therefore I look at him and carried him outside. Somehow he felt my "kill air" and started crying. I did not feel guilty at all because he was naughty. Mrs. Chu told me to don't pay attention to this and leave YiSon cried and reflect.
I had the Spanish class at night. Learning Spanish is a torturing and humbling experience. I know that this is key to my survival, but I do not enjoy it at all.
October 06, 2002 (Sunday)
If I have to lose my voice, today is the worst day because it is one of those "must speak" day for me. Guess what? I did not lose my voice, but close to it. I do not quite understand why because I have practiced singing for 3 hours previously (well, may be not quite, because usually I am just playing the instrument) and have just lost my voice once or at most twice (1999 gospel camp. And I was sick at that time. I am not this time)
I led singspiration in the Baptist Church. I have led many singspiration but this is the first time that I led during a Sunday worship service. I still remembered in 1996 I bravely approached to the Worship leader in Fraser land church and request for that. Of course, it was turned down at that time. And I lost my voice for this long-waited day. This must be a good thing for me because I would not be prideful. During Sunday school, I tried my best (voice-wise) to explain gospel to a new comer named William.
After the Sunday Service, one of the kids came up to me and praised Singspiration time. I ignored him somewhat because I am into something at that time. I felt regretted afterward because I should tell him to practice music well and serve God like what I did today.
I skipped the afternoon MB Church service again because I want some resting and studying time. People phoned me and worry that I would not come tonight to host the fellowship. Night time, there was the first youth fellowship for the MB Church. This is a milestone for my serving in Venezuela because I believe in building people, not just ministry. People shared about themselves and identified with the need too. I learned a lot about other people. Too bad that my voice was almost gone, or else I can have a better time with that. It is easy to start out a fellowship; however, the challenge is on maintaining it. I really wish that there will be more people that have the heart and willing to maintain the fellowship.
October 05, 2002 (Saturday)
I felt tired today, even though I had about 10 hours of sleep today (and average of about 9 hours of sleep per day in the last week). In the afternoon, I went to Baptist Church to practice singspiration with them and I have "throat sand". We had dinner with the New York Short Term missionaries. I went home at 8:30 and I wanted to practice with the Cisco equipment that I borrowed from work. However, when I turned on the equipment ("firewall" in this case), I do not have the password. (There is a "password recovery" procedure; however, since I do not have the internet access, I do not know how to do it) Instead of studying, I can not overcome the temptation of TV (wow, weird thing for me!) and watched the "Tomb Raider Lora Croft" movie.
October 04, 2002 (Friday)
I am learning how to study with joy, rather than stress. In the afternoon, I went out for a 30 mins walk and relaxed myself before the long night. My concentration and health situation was much better, compared to Tuesday night. However, the telnet session kept on hanging. This interruption really made me mad. Parents and Carmen tried to call me at night but the Venezuela telephone line was busy so they were only able to dial in after many trials.
I went to Ricky's home for dinner before the prayer meeting. It is always sad to hear that wherever there are people, there is politic, even in church. At night, Dr. Chu asked me to help finding a scripture from the Bible. I love this kind of challenge, but failed this time to find the verse. It is something like "how you day will be, how your strength will be".
October 03, 2002 (Thursday)
My boss approved me to take the Security CCIE lab exam at Brussels (Belgium) at Nov 4. Here is the info about my flight.
Nov 1,2 (Fri, Sat)
|
KL776 Caracas - Amsterdam
17:35 - 07:50
KL1723 Amsterdam - Brussels
09:00 - 09:50
|
Nov 5 (Tue)
|
KL1722 Brussels - Amsterdam
08:25 - 09:30
KL775 Amsterdam - Brussels
10:40 - 15:35
|
I am learning how to study with joy, rather than stress. In the afternoon, I went out for a 30 mins walk and relaxed myself before the long night. My concentration and health situation was much better, compared to Tuesday night. However, the telnet session kept on hanging. This interruption really made me mad. Parents and Carmen tried to call me at night but the Venezuela telephone line was busy so they were only able to dial in after many trials.
October 02, 2002 (Wednesday)
I have scheduled my Security CCIE lab exam on Nov 4, however, my boss seemed to be not too supportive. I was quite depressed because he was supportive for the last several months, but he changed now. I was browsing the Internet and saw about "several ways to know that you will be laid off soon". For some reason, I have a fear that I may be laid off again. This caused me even more stress.
After awhile, I had a break-through in my mind. I have already gained a lot during the last several months. For example, my experience greatly broadens, I know how to live by myself, my family, Carmen and my life were greatly changed. These were beyond price! I would be a different person even if I were to leave now.
I stayed home for the afternoon because I am sick. Actually, I am not really sick at all. It is because I feel a lot of stress in the morning and I was sick yesterday. Therefore, I decided to take an afternoon off to relief myself. Except a very minimal headache, I am perfectly fine. I went to Baptist Church for the singspiration practice. This is the first time that I serve in the music ministry in Baptist Church. The MB Church people really accepted me and I hope that thing would be the same in Baptist Church too.
The writing-exam thing is causing myself too many stress. That is true that this is a good way to retain my job, however, I gave myself too many pressure. I am losing the true happiness. When I look at someone who has something, I told myself that if I get that then I would be happy. However, when I get that, I want something more. In a sense, this pushes me to improve. However, it also prevents me from satisfy, enjoy, sit back and relax. I scheduled my exam one step sooner because I wanted to push myself. Now, I "think through" (a Chinese phase that means I truly understand) I would not really mind (it is easy to say now. I hope that I really would be ok at that moment) if my boss requested me to postpone my test. To help out and serve in church give me much greater satisfaction and joy.
To my dad and mom: Please do not worry! I am ok. Thanks for your caring in advanced. Instead of hiding these feeling from you, I express here. However, please do not worry me! I am really ok. This is just my way to grow up and experience. Please, again, do not worry! I am ok!
October 01, 2002 (Tuesday)
For some unknown reason, I have a headache and do not feel well for the day. I can not concentrate on anything. I slept for more than an hour during lunch time. Also, I spent some time in the afternoon to sit down at rest. However, I still feel not good. I cannot go home to rest because I rented the equipment rack from 7-11pm. Therefore, I have to work till the last minute!
I had my laptop fixed today, hence I did a lot of downloading, trying to restore to the shape that it was two weeks ago (all my data is GONE)
My health situation was not bad during that renting lab four hours. However, the progress is pretty poor. The connection speed was slow and there were some stupid mistakes. During those four hours, I can see the Vancouver people go online and I can chat with them.