1. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

2.It's harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to stick.

3. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

4- 5- People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"

6- People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

7- There's nothing left to learn the hard way.

8- Things you buy now won't wear out.

9- You buy a compass for the dash of your car.

10- You can eat dinner at 4:00.

11- You can live without sex but not without glasses.

12- You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.

13- You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.

14- You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.

15- You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.

16- You got cable for the weather channel.

17- You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

18- You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

19- You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

20- You send money to PBS.

21- You sing along with the elevator music.

22- You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn.

23- Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.

24- Your back goes out more than you do.

25- Your ears are hairier than your head.

26- Your eyes won't get much worse.

27- Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

28- Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.

29- Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

30- Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

31- People send you this list ...

WELL---SOMEONE SENT IT TO ME!!