| Here’s a quandary I’ve been pondering for quite some time now; Why in the blue hell is a senior, or any student for that matter, forced to “take” an Economics class? Tyrannical bastards. We do have a choice though; Macro- or Microeconomics, but trust me, there is little difference. Anyone who would voluntarily subject his/herself to this didactic torture is beyond the scope of stupidity, in the wrong direction. And they probably liked A Walk to Remember. Seriously, try and survey anyone, at least in my school, of at least average intelligence (you may have to search for a while), and ask them what they think about Economics. Then, to clarify, ask their opinion of the curriculum (or lack thereof). I am willing to bet that the word “bullshit,” or a suitable synonym (alliteration) will be included in the response. Oh, sure they’re content with their mediocre grades, like Dana, unless they are of the spineless sort that strive for the A, like Pat Steele. I won’t deluge the audience (that means you) with what I really think of those losers. Oh, what the hell: They’re losers. Anyhoo(TM), back to the task, debasing the fundamentals of Economics (ha!). It takes a special kind of moron to devote their life to the study of money and its exchange. You know how I study money? I look at the serial numbers and see if it’s worthy of Liar’s Poker (if you don’t know that game, I’ll teach you for free). I also like to make sure that it’s green. I had an incident with pink money a while back…I don’t want to talk about it. Come to think of it, Chris McEntee once said “I think it was Benjamin Franklin who said ‘if you lay all the economists in the world head-to-toe, you still wouldn’t reach a conclusion,’ or something like that. Maybe it was someone else.” Thanks, Chris. I like to be reasonably sure of a quotation and its source before I go around spouting other’s wisdom, but whatever. He got into Purdue. I got into USC. You decide. Damn, another tangent again. I hate those (by other people). Seriously, y’allTM, this is such a horrible class. There is no conceivable alleviation to its abhorrence, not even the great Mike Ditka could assuage the horrors of the class. If it was a co-teaching course with Jenna Jameson and Kobe Tai, well, maybe… But it would take a lot to dislodge Economics from the abyss of absurdity (I just made that up). Eloquence aside, I have devised a simple analogy to epitomize the rationale of this dissertation, based on a collection of ramblings from my Dad, the neo-Hobbesian sociologist (he went to college for that): “Bullshit is Bullshit. That’s given. Popeye said ‘I yam what I yam.’ Therefore, following no particular train of logic, Economics is Bullshit.” Down with Capitalism! |
| It's all about the Benjamins |