I recently got the chance to sit down with The Fag Behind The Mask himself, Kane Hodder.
Bobster Productions: Hello, Kane. How are you today?
Kane Hodder: I'm doing great. I've been filming all day. I'm so cool.
BP: Um, no you're not. Anyway....Did you enjoy working on Jason X and the last 3 Friday movies?
KH: Of course I did. I mean, first off, I'm sooo hot. Second, I have big muscles. And third, I'm Jason Voorhees. CHE CHE CHE AH AH AH.
BP: Great, wonderful. Um, I don't know how that exactly answer's my question but ok.
KH: Yup, I rule.
BP: You're cocky.
KH: Yeah.
BP: Ok, next question. Are you gay?
KH: Huh?
BP: Ok, let me put it in words that you can understand. Do you prefer to sleep with men or women?
KH: Oh, men, duh.
BP: Ok, so yeah. You're a flamer.
KH: (He giggled at this point) Yeah.
BP: If you were to get into a fight with Kane "The Big Red Machine", who would win?
KH: Oh me, hands down. Look at me. I'm not exactly small.
BP: Shut the fuck up! "The Big Red Machine" would rip your arms off and shove 'em up your ass.
KH: Hhhmm, he might shove something up my ass? I like, I like.
BP: Figured you would. So, in Jason X, you become a more cyborg-like Jason by the end, correct?
KH: Yeah. That shit was so cool. Now I can do the robot and not get picked on for it.
BP: Did you make a joke? Because if you did, that was fuckin' stupid.
KH: You're just jealous.
BP: Of what?
KH: Me, because I'm a great actor.
BP: You're a fuckin' stunt man. Which reminds me, how did you get to play the role of Jason anyway?
KH: Well, of course you had to be a great actor to get that role, which I am. I was hanging out around Paramount studio's one day. I went into the bathroom, you know, to masturbate and this guy came in. He said to me "Hey, you're hot. You wanna be in a movie?" and I said "Yes please."
BP: Oh really?
KH: Yes, for real. I'm not lying. So I got the part. I remember the first day of shooting for Friday the 13th part 7. I was so nervous. I was all dressed up in my jason gear and I remember the director saying "Ok, Kane what we need you to do is breathe very heavily into the mask." Let me tell you, breathing heavily into a mask is very hard. Only skilled actors like myself know how to do it. But I was so nervous. I kept fuckin' up. Instead of breathing into the mask, I was shooting my boogers into the mask. It took me at least a month to finally get it down.
BP: You shot your boogers into the mask? How in the fuck?
KH: Yeah, I tend to do that a lot when I'm nervous.
BP: Ok, I think that's about it for this pathetic interview. Kane, it was, um, nice to get the chance to talk with you. Bye bitch.
KH: Bye man. I RULE!
BP: No, you don't!
BACK!
Disclaimer: This interview did not really happen. It's all a joke made up by me due to boredom. If you have taken it seriously, you're a fuckin' moron.