VAHRAM HADJIAN'S POETRY

( 1935 _____ )

A SCENE OF DEATH

Translated from Armenian by Daniel Janoyan
Glendale, February 22, 1991
 
I hear the bells of the other world,
Where I am also going to leave to and also go.
I will also one day bid my friends farewell,
And a cold tombstone will be the last witness of my tortured life
To stand over my grave with thoughts very mystic.

I will be departing and I will be going far, far away,
Not longing anybody nor also disgusting.
And may be no one will comment anything about my very dark and damp grave.
My loss might bring wonder and perhaps sympathy to men,
But with my death the world will have at least one less pain to care.



ADDRESSING TORTURE

Translated from Armenian by Daniel Janoyan
Glendale, February 22, 1991

You entered my door and entered freely.
I became a guest, while you — the landlord.
You became too close and faithful to me.
You felt I was an orphan, no one caring for me.

You accompanied me everywhere,
You visited me every single hour.
And like a lightening, you came and passed,
Destroying everything just like a gust.

You looked at my rays suspiciously,
You became jealous even at my hopes.
You even interfered in every
Single word and line I wrote.

You, O life of mine, you were born of sins,
You are a heavy and difficult burden.
You are my senseless torture,
You are my lord and eternal shelter.



ONE DAY YOU WILL WONDER
(POEMS AND VERSES)

Translated from Armenian by Daniel Janoyan
El Monte, July 13, 1995

It is said when people get older, they get wiser. They become more optimistic. A human being learns his lessons and continues to grow through his living experiences until he reaches his climax. It seems the same thing has happened to me. It seems I too, having grown old, I have been matured and through which I was able to write these poems and verses expressing my philosophical thoughts that have not yet been published. At this point I would like to present them to the NOR GYANK readers.

I too was in love just like everybody,
I too got all the pleasures of sweet-lipped ladies.
Occasionally, prostitutes were hugged by me,
And later, I cried and hated myself for days to be.

* * * * * * 

They laughed at me
They brought pain to me and left
And, woe to them, just before I died,
They came and cried for me.
They took away my water from me,
They ate my share of bread.
They spread salt on my wounds
And whatever I had, they took away from me.

* * * * * *

I have nothing else in this life.
Everything is gone and flown away.
It seems I am in a monastery now
Where nothing is left for one to find.
Where the walls are naked and wet,
Where a thought swells in one’s mind.
Where even God, Himself,
Tends to cry over one’s fate.

* * * * * *

 Where are you heading O good man,
This place is the same for everybody.
Do say nothing and do have no complaints,
This place is the same for everybody.

 Since the day you are born
You become a slave of the dead, my friend.
You become a bondman and death becomes your master, my friend.
What can you tell this brutal universe, my friend?

* * * * * *

 I too, I too was able to live my share of life.
I too was able to see my sixtieth birthday.
I bore my fate as my crucification.
What can I say? Woe to this dishonest world of ours.

* * * * * *

 You will also come and pass by
Whether your path be dark or bright.
Don’t ever mess up your feelings
Attempting to be lucky.
Try never to apprehend
The secrets of life and death.
Give way and lean towards torture
And enjoy yourself through the stars.

* * * * * *

* * * * * *

 Live up your life and enjoy it so long as you are alive.
Love others and be in love as much as you can love.
Don’t let pain ever your doors open,
Don’t ever leave your glass of wine not drunk in full.

* * * * * *

 No matter how much I laugh or I live up to be,
I will still remain thirsty.
Although for good I will get drunk for love
I will still remain thirsty.
No matter if I had all the pleasures of life in one day,
And I become the master of all women,
I will still consider myself to be thirsty.

* * * * * *

 You will be living your moments of life
Though I know that is also a lie.
You will be burning just like a candle
Until your nights become so dark.
Until your hopes are shattered down
And your dreams become breathless,
Until your heart is also broken
And your days become destroyed.



I WANT TO

Translated from Armenian by Daniel Janoyan
Glendale, December 30, 1999

Some thoughts come into my mind
Some thoughts which strange do often sound.
I want to reach the summits of some mountains,
Mountains, that come and go within my mind.

I want to be a wild flower of a mountain
That has been approached by no one before
I want my heart to be burned by a love spark
Ignoring and forgetting my entire unfortunate life.

I want new heavens to become stars within myself
To take away my sincerity along with the dark.
My new longings to take new flames wake me up
To burn down my entire life with only one warm hug.

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