Promos -- July 12, 2005

"Lessons"
Date: July 12, 2005
Match: Total Damnation vs. Scott Tokage
Fed: KWRS

-- The camera fades in on a very serene scene. In the foreground we see a cherry blossom tree swaying in the gentle breeze of the early afternoon, it's pink petals gently floating through the air before resting upon a lush field of green grass. Birds glide through the air singing sweet songs about all manner of birdly persuits. All the while the sun shines brightly, a large golden disk suspended in the light blue sky among a few tiny whisps of bright white clouds. The camera begins to pull back and we see that we were looking through an immaculately cleaned window above a child's desk, like one you would find in any elementary school. As the camera continues to pull back and around we see fifteen more desks all lined up neatly and precisely in four even rows. Adorning the walls are various school related motivational posters with mottos like "Stay in school or you'll be very stupid" and "If you can't read this sign then you need to learn how to read". At one end of the room we now see two people standing in front of a chalkboard. --

-- On the right (our right, not theirœs) is a very pretty yet slightly slutty looking japanese woman barely eighteen years old and about 5 foot 6 inches tall. Her long, shiny black hair is pulled up into two pigtails on either side of her head framing her high cheekboned, overly makeuped face. She's wearing a long sleeve white shirt which fits snugly over her thin frame, the buttons down the front obviously under tremendous stress as they strain to keep her rather large and heaving chest from spilling out. Her plaid, pleated skirt barely covers anything, so short in fact that if she were to bend over even the slightest bit everyone would discover the color of any panties that she may or may not be wearing. Her loose socks and shiny black shoes with shiny silver buckles complete the schoolgirl/slut look. --

-- On the left is a young man of what loooks to be about twenty three years of age. He's dressed in a rather sharp looking black suit with a dark purple shirt and black neck tie. His hair is a few inches long, styled neatly around his face and is a reddish pink shade with long black streaks throughout. He looks japanese as well but his features are not as distinct as the girl's. His skin is the tiniest shade lighter, his dark eyes the slightest bit rounder. He looks to be about six feet tall and around 210 - 220 pounds. On the back of his left hand we can see what looks like the end of some sort of tattoo that continues up his arm which is hidden by the jacket he wears. All we can see of it looks green and scaly and tapers off on one end. The man smiles into the camera and begins to speak, his words giving no hint of a foreign accent. --

"Highspot" Scott Tokage: Good morning class. My name is -- he turns around and writes his name on the chalkboard as he says it -- "Highspot" Scott Tokage. Some people call me Highspot, friends call me Scott or Tokage-san, you may call me "sir"... or "sensei"... or "lord of all things wrestling". Take your pick. Just be sure you show me the proper respect as your wrestling superior and we'll get along wonderfully. Now, I know since I'm new here to the KWRS that many of you may not know who I am or what I'm all about so I've temporarily transformed my game room into a class room in order to take all of you pathetic losers back to school. Since most of you retards rode the short bus to I'll try to dumb the lessons down as much as possible so even your feeble brains can understand. Yes, that will be extremely difficult but just try to keep up. Sakura-chan, if you would.

-- The girl standing to Scott's left, who up to this point has been staring blanky into the camera and smiling widely, thinks for a second before a sign of recognition flashes across her face. She speaks with a very distinct and thick southern american accent. --

Sakura: Huh, what? Oh yeah, Sakura chan. That's me, right? What did ya'll want me to do?

Scott: -- With a slim, forced smile upon his face -- If you would please set up the board for the first lesson. -- She looks at him confused -- Write the word math on the chalkboard.

-- Sakura grins and nods her head in understanding. She pops the gum in her mouth as she complies and writes "MATH" in large rounded letters on the board. --

Scott: Good, thank you Sakura-chan. Yes, our first subject today is math. We'll start with something easy. Let's see how high everybody can count. Please repeat after me. One... two... three... okay, you can stop there. Those are the only numbers you're ever going to need. You can practice your counting while on your back in the ring. If you forget what comes next and need some help just listen to the referee. He'll happily assist you to three by counting out loud and slamming the mat three times as you stare at the lights in the arena. I'll be there for moral support as I pin your shoulders down until you get it right.

Scott: Let's move on to something a bit more complicated, algebra. Sakura-chan, please write this equation on the board. "S" equals 20 times "M". Now, assuming that M equals the overall talent of any competitor in the New Era besides myself, what does S equal? Anyone? Anyone? Sakura-chan?

-- Sakura, having problems with the writing of the equation, gave up after writing "Es ekwels" and has instead decided that it would be a good idea to draw five cartoon kitten faces. Hearing her name she looks up from her work and attempts to give an an answer. --

Sakura: Ummmm... Five?

Scott: Oh, so close but no. The answer is S equals my overall talent. Get it? That means I'm twenty times better than anyone else in this place. Understand?

Sakura: -- shaking her head and looking perplexed -- No.

Scott: Tough. Let's move on to the next subject... history. My history as a professional wreslter is covered in wins and surrounded by gold. Those of you that know a little something about my history will know that I'm generally regarded as a tag team wrestler, but I'm here to say that as of right now I'm concentrating fully on my already succesful singles career. I say it's already succesful because guess what happened in my first ever televised singles match at a previous federation I was in?

Sakura: -- raising her hand and bouncing up and down -- Ooh, ooh! Pick me! Pick me!

-- Scott smiles at the sight of his bouncing assisstant. --

Scott: Yes, Sakura-chan?

-- Sakura holds a sheet of paper up to her face and reads the words written on it very slowly.   --

Sakura: You won your first singles belt, the Light Heavyweight Championship, in a match where you beat off three guys.

Scott: Uh... I think you meant to say that I beat three guys, right?

Sakura: Nope, that's not what it says right here. Says you beat off three guys.

Scott: Then it's a typo, dunce! Get it right. What the hell am I paying you for if you can't wrap your tiny brain around one simple sentence?! You know what, why don't you just stop talking all together. Just stand there and look slutty. Try not to forget how to breathe.

Sakura: Whatever, brainiac. It's your money. By the way, ya'll better wrap this up within the next ten minutes 'less you want to fork over another hundred bucks for my time. I could be lying on my back making twice the money I am right now.

Scott: Fine, let's just move on to the last subject of the day, science. More specifically, physics. Now please, I would like for Total Damnation to pay particualr attention to this portion of the class. There will be a test, young man... this Sunday actually. Now repeat after me, "an object in motion stays in motion unless acted upon by some outside force". What does this mean for you? Allow me to explain.

-- Sakura flips on an overhead projector and places a page depicting an anime looking character jumping off what looks like a corner of a wrestling ring. Written out to the side is "Scott Tokage" with an arrow pointing to the jumper. Standing in the ring is a guy in a black monk robe with his hands covering his face in fear. Written beside this character is "Total Damnation" with an arrow pointing to him. --

Scott: In this clevery rendered diagram we see two objects. First is a representation of me. Here you see me soaring through the air with a cross body or corkscrew moonsault or some other spectacular feat of athletic prowess. Below him is a representation of Total Damnation, my joke of an opponent in my first ever KWRS match this week. Notice how he trembles in fear and can't watch as he senses impending doom. As you can see I am the object in motion. Pay close attention here, this is the tricky part. You, Mr. Damnation, are <b>NOT</b> the outside force that will stop my motion. No, you're not nearly clever enough to slow me down. The only thing stopping me from moving in a forward direction is the mat that we'll both be landing on. You'll just be there to cushion the blow for me as I drive your body down and crush you under my slim yet powerful weight.

Scott: This all sound a bit too advanced for you? Here's an easier statement for you. "For every action there is an equal yet opposite reaction." You've heard that before, right? Again, allow me to explain what this means for you. The actions I take in the ring will have an equal yet opposite effect on the reactions your body gives. For instance, the pleasure I will recieve from giving you an extraordinarily painful beating will be proportionatly equal to the anguish you feel.

-- Sakura changes the picture on the projector. We see a drawing of Scott wearing a huge smile. Below him, laying in a crumpled heap on the ground, is "Mr. Dumbnation" looking quite sad with tears streaming down his face.   --

Scott: Understand? Good. Here's another example of this principle. Let's say I have you in one of my many painful submission holds. The amount of pressure I apply with be proportionatly equal to the force at which you strike the mat when you tap out. If I put it on right, and I always do, I'll have you break your own hand trying to get me to stop.

-- Sakura puts up another picture on the projector. This one depicts Scott applying what looks like a cross legged STF to "Mr. Dumnation" who is slamming the mat with both hands. Above them is an equation which reads "pressure = pain = crybaby taps out". --

Scott: This Sunday I start with Damnation but sooner or later I'm gonna have all of you big fat babies begging for me to stop pummeling you. I'll bash your skulls and look good doing it. You better look up to the sky because when I descend upon you with my graceful fury you'll be on your back before you even knew I was there. You're all in for a big time beat down as I swiftly climb my way up to the very top of the federation. I'll make you bleed and suffer like you never new was possible. My technical skills are unsurpassed and my high flying style can only be considered high risk to my opponents. My submissions are perfection. One second in any one of my holds will have you tapping like... uh...

Sakura: Gene Kelly.

Scott: Like Gene Kelly. What? Gene Kelly?

Sakura: He's a famous tap dancer

Scott: Who the hell cares?! Didn't I tell you to shut your hole? Heh, I bet you don't hear <b>that</b> very often. Anyway, you'll be tapping up a storm. Get in the ring with me and I'll give you a physical education the likes of which you will never forget. I'm ready for some moron bashing action and in my new location here in the KWRS there are morons as far as the eye can see. Get yourself ready, chumps, Tokage-san is in town and looking to make a name for himself at everyone's expense.

-- Scott smiles smugly at the camera, satisfied with his performance. He now turns slowly to look at Sakura who has her arms crossed in front of her and is looking away from him with an annoyed look on her face. --

Scott: Come on, honey. I didn't mean anything with that hole comment. I didn't think girls like you could be offended. Let's turn this camera off and go to recess. All this school crap has really given me the urge to learn all about you. Let's start with anatomy.

-- Scott reaches out but Sakura slaps his hand away. She looks even more annoyed now and points a finger in his face. --

Sakura: You're not paying me enough to get treated like this. At least my other customers don't act like I'm some stupid broad. The only reason I'm here right now is because you said a lot of people would be seeing this. Now that you're done I'm gone. Besides, your time's up anyway.

Scott: -- voice raised and obviously angry -- Fine, take your bukkake lovin' ass out of my house and don't look back. You're gonna regret it when I'm the main draw in the KWRS. Don't you come crawling back to me . I'll leave you out on the corner where I found you selling your body to the scum of the earth. Now get out of my house!

Sakura: Fine!

Scott: Fine!

Sakura: Good!

Scott: Good!

Sakura: Okay!

Scott: Okay!

-- They both stand there for a few seconds looking at each other angrily. Scott's eyes go wide with frustration as he points to the door. --

Scott: Leave now! Go! Get out! Damn, do I have to draw a picture for you?

-- Sakura turns around hautily and walks out the door, slamming it behind her. Scott cringes as the windows rattle with the force of the impact. He lets out a sigh and sits on the nearest desk. He smiles a little and talks to himself. --

Scott: Man, I really think she dug me! Dumber than an episode of American Idol but who cares. It's not like I wanna hear what she has to say anyway. I think I'll give her a call tomorrow... maybe in six days. Now where did I put that slut's number?

-- Scott gets up and begins to search through all of the desks in the room. The camera fades out as he begins to look behind the motivational posters for Sakura's number. So there you have it friends. The latest episode of what will come to be known as the greatest wrestling story ever told. The story of "Highspot" Scott Tokage! --