-- The time is around three o'clock in the afternoon. In the distance we see a supermarket being baked by the hot New Mexican sun. Hordes of sweaty housewives and small children hurry across the sweltering parking lot, dodging inept drivers as they make their way to the entrance. The camera begins to zoom in. Eventually it enters the supermarket giving us a glorious view of the brightly lit interior. All around we see more housewives and children pushing their shopping carts loaded with all sorts of groceries and junk food. Among the mass of humanity we spot two familiar figures. As we zoom in even closer we see that it's none other than the newest team to be relocated to the House of Hardcore, Big Time! "Dynamite" Dave Drexxel is walking alongside Scott Tokage as he pushes an empty shopping cart. As they turn down an ailse Dave spots a lady holding a tray of complimentary pizza toasty things. --

Free sample lady: Free samples! Would you like to try a tasty bite size "Pizza Treat"?

Dave: Don't mind if I do!

-- Dave doesn't stop walking as he lifts the tray out of the young woman's hands. He then flips the entire contents of the tray into the air and catches about two or three in his mouth, the rest falling to the floor. The lady looks rather annoyed. --

Dave: Don't look at me, honey, you said they were free.

-- He then throws the tray back to her like a frisbee. She doesn't even make an attempt to catch it and it falls to the floor with a loud crash that echos throughout the store. --

Scott: Dammit, Dave. Try not to get us thrown out of here before we get what we came for. **he goes up to the nearest man** Excuse me, sir, can you tell me where to find the cheese graters?

Man: Que?

Scott: What? K? K what? Aisle K?

Dave: No, I think he said Parkay. I think they're near the butter.

Scott: No he didn't. Uh, sir, do you speak english?

Man: Que?

Dave: Que hora es cheese graters, el idiote?

Man: Que?

Scott: Crap! Forget it. We'll find them ourselves.

-- Scott and Dave walk past the idiote and continue to search the supermarket. --

Dave: Come on, I need to pick up some milk. We'll get the cheese graters in a minute.

Scott: Fine. God damn, I got back into pro wrestling so I wouldn't have to do my own shopping. This is complete and total crap. I'm gonna make that rat bastard Solley pay for shipping us down here to this hole in the wall federation. I mean, what the hell is this. A chesse grater match! I'm a wrestler dammit, not a two bit thug who's only talent is bleeding out of every orifice on his body! Like those two asses that were booked to fight, what are their names? Sex Honky or Sex Fiend or something? Let me tell you, the word "SEX" and 527 lbs. definitly do not go together. And that moron of a president out here, Logan Knight! What nerve he has making us go out and buy cheese graters that might very well be used on us just because he's too poor to spring for them himself! That's almost as bad as making us lower ourselves by even being in this damn fed. We could beat every one of the damn nimrods on the roster here without even breaking a sweat and still have enough strength left over to do an all-nighter with three or four women each! Words can't describe the sheer anger I feel right now towards Solley, New Mexico, the two sex guys we're facing, Logan Knight, and the whole damn world right now! GOD DAMMIT SON OF A MOTHER FUCKING BITCH I HATE THIS WHOLE GOD DAMN STATE AND ALL OF IT'S GOD DAMN STUPID AS SHIT PEOPLE!!! FUUUUUUUUUCK!

Dave: Wow, that was a highly articulate outburst, Scott. Don't wear yourself out before the match.

-- Scott is now brought back to his senses by Dave, who unbeknownst to Scott has been pouring a jug of milk out onto the floor and filling it with another jug. He looks around and sees that half of the supermarket is now staring at the two of them. --

Scott: What the hell are you doing?

Dave: You ever noticed how many kinds of milk there are. You've got low-fat, 2% fat, homogonized, no-fuckingfatwhatsoever. The funny thing is though when it says there's less fat in the milk those pricks charge you more for it? So what I do I'm taking the homogenized milk, empty that out and put the no fat milk in it, so that means I save a buck fifty, got it?

Scott: Sure, fine, whatever. Did you hear a word of what I just said?

Dave: **Getting up with his discounted milk** Yeah, I heard you. That Logan Knight guy is a real asshole. I've never even heard of these guys that we're facing, Sex Symbol and Sexual Honky... God, I can't even say that name with a straight face, how am I supposed to fight him. Maybe Honky will pull a Big Pun and drop dead of a heart attack or choke on a ham sandwich or something.

Scott: Dude, that is not cool, you're gonna get us in trouble. I don't care if the guy is a fat bastard, you can't say that you hope he'll die.

-- Dave runs over to the fruit and vegetable stand and picks up a head of lettuce. --

Dave: Quick impression for you. Here's Sexual Honkey.

-- He looks at the lettuce, looks back at Scott, looks at the lettuce, looks at Scott. With a confused look on his face he says... --

Dave: Wha... What the hell is this. I've never seen this before! I'm big and fat and only eat things that come in a greasy sack or can. What is this green stuff?

-- Scott laughs and picks up a can of Overstuffed Ravioli. --

Scott: Here's my impression. **Moves the can a bit and makes a voice for it.** Hi, I'm Sexual honky. I'm fat.

-- The two men laugh and throw the props they used for impressions to the ground. They begin to walk away when they are both grabbed from behind by a man who appears to work at the supermarket judging by his red vest and name tag. --

Manager: Sirs, I'm the manager of this supermarket. I'm going to have to ask the two of you to leave. We've had complaints from many of our customers and workers. If you could please step this way.

-- Dave and Scott look a little surprised but comply with the managers wishes and begin to walk with him down the frozen foods aisle towards the front of the store. --

Dave: Don't you know who we are? We're Big Time, the tag team specialists that have been so wrongly relocated to the House of Hardcore. We're heroes, legends in the business!

-- As Dave distracts the manager by talking, Scott sees an opportunity. Right behind the manager is an open freezer where a boy is kneeling down stocking items. Scott pushes the manager back, causing him to trip over the boy and fall into the open freezer. Dave quickly shuts the door, temporarily buying the duo some time. --

Scott: Come on Dave! We have to get those cheese graters!

-- With that, the two men run down the aisle and disappear from view as they turn the corner. What will become of Big Time? Will they find the cheese graters that they need for their first House of Hardcore match? Will the manager escape and throw our heroes in jail? Will Sexual Honky die of a heart attack before we even hear from him? Find out all this and more by looking for part two of Big Time's "New Mexican Oddysey" right here at the House of Hardcore! --

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