Life's a voyage that's homeward bound.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them. 
"Imagination is more important than knowledge..."
"Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it."
"A man can’t ride your back unless it is bent."
A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you.
"When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends."
A superstition is a premature explanation that overstays its time.
A hen is only an egg’s way of making another egg. 
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.
You're never too old to become younger.
A cult is a religion with no political power.
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
Where facts are few, experts are many.
If little else, the brain is an educational toy.
What worries you masters you.
Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds.
The highest reward for man's toil is not what he gets for it, but what he becomes by it.
The more original a discovery, the more obvious it seems afterwards.
What we call 'Progress' is the exchange of one nuisance for another nuisance.
The only way to have a friend is to be one.
Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine.
A little learning is a dangerous thing but a lot of ignorance is just as bad.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival.
It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value.
Never believe anything until it has been officially denied.
We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?
A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.
He hasn't an enemy in the world - but all his friends hate him.
There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
Your theory is crazy, but it's not crazy enough to be true.
History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
A weapon is a device for making your enemy change his mind.
The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately defeat him.
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
The past is a source of knowledge, and the future is a source of hope. 
Observe your enemies, for they first find out your faults.
We are never deceived; we deceive ourselves.
What luck for rulers that men do not think
Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.
The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.
Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.
If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is doing the thinking.
Ours is the age that is proud of machines that think and suspicious of men who try to.
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves.
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.
Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it.
We need men who can dream of things that never were.
Fall not in love, therefore; it will stick to your face.
Fortune does not change men, it unmasks them.
Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy.
The visionary lies to himself, the liar only to others.
And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.
We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are.
Never fight an inanimate object.
.Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.
The future is much like the present, only longer.
All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.
My Karma ran over your dogma.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
To acquire knowledge, one must study; but to acquire wisdom, one must observe.
Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives.
An artist is a dreamer consenting to dream of the actual world.
Make sure you have finished speaking before your audience has finished listening.
Finance is the art of passing money from hand to hand until it finally disappears.
Don't spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door.
Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see.
What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
The world loves to be deceived.
Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don't.
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August.
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.
There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it.
The public will believe anything, so long as it is not founded on truth.
Be careful that victories do not carry the seed of future defeats.
I know nothing except the fact of my ignorance.
Men keep agreements when it is to the advantage of neither to break them.
I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.
All war is a symptom of man's failure as a thinking animal.
It's a job that's never started that takes the longest to finish.
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
Civilizations die from suicide, not by murder.
If you cannot convince them, confuse them.
It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it's a depression when you lose yours.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.