THE PARTY

SHINRA HQ

Rufus: Here Kitty kitty kitty

Tseng: What are you doing

Rufus: Looking for my cat

Tseng: Scarlet's in the office

Rufus: Very funny.....Oh there is my kitty puddles

Cat: Um...meow

Rufus: I can't reach it, Tseng your a turk right

Tseng: Yup

Rufus: Can you get the cat down

Tseng: Yup

(Tseng shoots the cat and it hits the ground with a loud thump)

Rufus: There is my kitty (Pats the dead cat)

Tseng: Why did you want the cat for sir?

Rufus: He eat some of my invetations

Tseng: Well it's better than what you wanted the cat for last time (Shudders at thought)

Elena: (Walking in) What did he wan't the cat for last time?

Tseng: For sex

Rufus: HEY, I love my kitty

Tseng: No one can love an animal THAT much

Rufus: Hey, we have a special conection

Tseng: Yes a special conection (Mumbles) Up the ass

Elena: (Snickers)

Rufus: Well...time to start a party, I'll invite Cloud and the gang

Elena: Why

Rufus: Dunno

Highwind

Yuffie: Sephiroth, Truth or Dare?

Sephiroth: Oreos

Yuffie:????

Sephiroth: I mean Dare

Yuffie: Do you like Tifa

Barret: Oooooh

Cloud: (Thinking) I know Sephy-Poo loves ME

Sephiroth:....Yes

Cloud: WHAT!?

Tifa: Cool

Sephiroth: Let's run away together

Tifa: Sure

(Brick smashes through the window and hits Cloud in the face)

Cloud: OW a brick hit my face

Cid: What does it say?

Aeris: You are invited to the first ever Shinra ball

Cloud: Heh heh ball

(Everyone sighs)

Laguna: Let's go

Squall: Let's

Rinoa: Did you say something

Squall:.....

Rinoa: Bugger

Irvine: I think it would be great

Sephiroth: You just want to %$#@ Scarlet

Selphie: WHAT!? (Looks at Irvine shocked) You didn't

Irvine: Prove it

Sephiroth: (Holds up pictures)

Selphie: (Looks at pictures)....Hey how come you never got in those positions with me

Irvine: Um...uh (Sweats)....BYE!!!

(Runs into room)

Red XIII: Hey I'm getting changed in here

Irvine: You don't have clothes

Red XIII: You ruined the scene!!

Sephiroth: Shut up

Vincent: Well let's go

Cloud: Heh Heh Go

Tifa: Confused) Huh?

Cloud: Heh Heh Huh

Mog: Shaddup kupo

Choco: Kweh?

Mog: I'm a black belt in karate (Puts on robe and black belt)

Barret: Karate?

Mog: I lied, I'm black belt in Kupjitsu

Choco: Well I mastered my ultimate Limit brake, Chocobuckled

(Choco runs at mog and chocobuckled the daylights outta him)

Mog: Look night time

Rufus Summer House

Rufus: Welcome to my ball

Barret: Sweet foo'

Selphie: (Elbows Irvine) There Scarlet

Irvine: Is to...see yah

Seplphie: %$#@

Rufus: Plumpiol

Jenova: Hi

Elena: (Drunk)...Hello...Jenomi

Jenova: Uh it's Jenova

Elena: And I wanna pony anna *hick* rocket ship

Zidane: Hi

Dagger: Hi

Rufus: Hi..Dagger come in...Zidane piss off

Zidane: Aw (Runs out into the street and gets hit by a fancy car)

Everyone: Look it's Reno

Reno: Wazzup..my niger

Barret: Where the $#@% have you been foo' (Gives Reno a high five)

Cloud: (Whispering) Sephiroth

Sephiroth: JAVA JAVA JAVA JAVA...what?

Cloud: Follow me

Sephiroth: Uh...ok

Rufus: Dagger

Dagger: Yes?

Rufus: Would you come into my room so I can show you my 'collection'

(They both go into the room, a few moments later a loud shreek is heard)

Dagger: AHHHH

Rufus: Shut up and touch it

Dagger: Alright....it's so soft

(A few moments later they both come out)

Rufus: How did you like a bunch of quilts

Dagger: They were cool

Irvine: You showed her Quilts (Shakes head)

Rufus: It's what we did under the quilts that matters

Irvine: Oooooh your nasty

Toilet

Sephiroth: So let me get this stright, we install a video camera in all the girls toilets so we...

Cloud: Right..we watch them...you know

Sephiroth: This sounds like something Rufus would come up with

Rufus: I did

Cloud: Shhh, someones coming

(Tifa walks into room)

Rufus: Sweet

Tifa: Hmmmmmmmm (Does her buisness)

Cloud: This is the best day of my life (Perving on Sephy)

Lounge room

Aeris: Well I gotta get to the toilet

Scarlet: I gotta go first

Toilet

Sephiroth: Heh heh this is sweet

Rufus: OH MY GOS IT'S SCARLET, TURN OFF THE CAMERA

Sephiroth: The lens is smashed (Laughs)

Scarlet: Sephy...is that you

Sephiroth: ^&^$#

Scarlet: ^ ^

\--/

Lounge room

Squall: So Rinoa

Rinoa: Yeah

Squall:....

Rinoa: That does it (Kills Squall)

Squall:.....(Dies)

Choco: Mummy, your back

Chocobo: Yeah

Choco: Where were we, ah yes Mummy why did you shoot me, Mummy I have a fear for the stapler

(High pitched scream is heard from the toilet the Sephy runs out, with lipstick all over his face)

Irvine: What's wrong

Sephiroth: (Find out he has scarlets bra in his hair) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Outside House

(A police car pulls outside the house and a whole bnch of Moggles hop out [It's the Mog Police Force])

Moggle 1: (Whispering) Come out with your hands up

Moogle 2: Well there not listening pull out the rocket launcher

Moogle 4: With pleasure

(Blows up house)

Cloud: Ahhhhh

Rufus: Well my house got %$#@ed up agian, just like every other time

THE END

CLOUDS WONDERFUL UNDIE CHUNKS

PILOT EPISODE

CLOUDS WONDERFUL UNDIE CHUNKS IS WRITEN IN FRONT OF A LIVE AUDIENCE

KEY

# = Audience

HIGHWIND

Cloud: Hi yah all

# Ha ha ha ha ha

Barret: Where is all that laughter coming from

# Ha ha ha ha ha ha

Rufus: HI!!

# Cough Cough

Squall: Rinoa

Rinoa: What

Squall:....

Aeris: Tifa your a two cent whore

# Oooooooh

Sephiroth: SHUT UP

# Ha ha ha ha

Sephiroth: (Slices up everyone)

#........(They are now dead)

Cloud: Sweet

(warp gate opens below them)

Cid: Time to %$#@ing land

On the ground

Voice: HA

Laguna: Who are yo

Barret: Damn foo' Jenova

Voice: Me not Jenova me

(Dramatic Musis Pops up)

Voice: BATMAN

Rufus: (Humming batman theme)

Batman: I will start my own cult...bye (Dispears)

Cloud: Lassie go find him

Lassie: Uh dude, I'm not in the story (Vanishs)

Rufus: Mmmm Batman is cute

Laguna: Let's find that moron Batman

Quistis: Yes, for the better

Cloud: Yes and for little Jimmy

Zell: Jimmy?

Jimmy: Yes me (Jimmy leaves just as oddly as he appeard)

Laguna: ????

Timber Maniacs

Laguna: Do you know a man by the name of Batman

Man: Yes in my day..

5 hours later

Man: Yeah so...he is in the south Midgar ocean

South Midgar Ocean

(A giant boat made outta bats wings in floating in the middle of the ocean)

Cloud: COFFEE!!

Red XIII: Hi

Rufus: Red XIII, your cute

Cid: (Drinking Coffee really fast)

Red XIII: Cid, you can go hyper over that

Cid: Shut up stupid ^$&#^%&#^%&#%^ Loin thingy (Spills coffee) Ahhhh, its too hot..I'll sue (Finds writing of coffee saying HOT HOT)

Ahhhh &$#*

Batmoboat (Yes Smashing name isn't it) Control Room

Cloud: BATMAN!!!

Lassie: Yes

Sephiroth: Piss off

Cloud: Batman

Batman: Yes

Cloud: ^%$$#

Tifa: We will fart on you

Rufus: So Batty-Muffins, After the thing you wanna hit it off?

Batman: Sure, but first I must launch my First Movie then Comics then action figures then cartoon then I'll take over the world Hee Hee Hee

Sephiroth: (Looks evily at Batman) Listen her $#@!man I'm the evil one, you aint worth sh*t you whorish piece of rabbit come$#@$

your ment to be the hero not the evil guy so %$#@ OFF YOU #%&*#%&% FACE $(*$()*$)(*$ &%&%&^%* *$(%*&9057

and*$)*395 89898(*%(#*%(#%*)_#%*#%*_)

#: (Back alive) Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

Batman: Aw! (Blows up)

Rufus: Well my house didn't get blown up!!

Mog: Well um...the wood to make the ship was you summer house!!!!!

Rufus: (Really really really really really really really really really really really really REALLY PISSED %$#@ING OFF) MUST KILL MOG

Mog: Um...Kupo