1 Jul 2003
Football Sunday Parque de Herbert 6 horas

Dear fans,

Owing to an unrelated injury Herbert Park Rangers were sadly left without their key player Jim The Slim Kennedy this evening. Some previously overshadowed players took supreme advantage of this opportunity however by shining both in defensive and offensive positions and extending their shooting range well beyond Kennedy’s in a couple of instances. A goal came out of nowhere from the direction of Donnacha Curley while Carl’s inspiring drive through five players was unfortunately thwarted by Goalie Greg’s quick reflexes. Cormac’s long legs proved effective while Kevin Power’s attacks were formidable as ever. We wish Kennedy a speedy recovery and hope he finds his boat again soon. Our next meeting at Stadio Olympico Hampden Herbert Park Neucamp Maine Road Bernabau San Siro Giants Stadium of Light of Dreams Share The Feeling will take place on Sunday evening at 6 PM where the phrase of the day will be a German one this time: “(insert name of player) lank!” which means ‘(insert name of player) wing!”

Thank you for your attention,

Liz (temporary press secretary and star defender – I claim poetic license)