THE NEW AND *IMPROVED* SECRET PAGE

As many people know, I formerly had a secret page right here. However, a former friend of mine decided to interpret the secrets on my page to mean something other than I intended, and in order to make everybody happy, I took the page down. Then, I had a realization: I WAS WRONG! I should never have taken that page down, as that was a sign of defeat, and for that very reason, the page is now back up, with radical changes. Tim Folker from Geocities emailed me to tell me that there was nothing wrong with my page, and he was right. There was nothing wrong with telling people intimate details about myself. The problem was with the people who thought they knew everything and decided to hurt their "friends" by telling them things that were not true. Therefore, I have a bone to pick with every one of those people whom I have described above.

I recently graduated from high school, which drastically changed my life. I had spent all four years of high school with the same group of friends, and toward the end of my senior year, I began to realize that there were only about three of those friends that I truly liked. The others were caught up in their own pessimistic world, and their attitude brought me down emotionally, which was a sad time for me. I feel that the reason I no longer got along with my friends was that while they stayed the stereotypical teenager, I grew up and realized what life was all about. To all of those ex-friends who are reading this, you have a few lessons to learn. I never got to have my say during the time that we were friends, but I will have it now, whether you like it or not, or even if you don't read it. In fact, you may raise hell all you like, but like the last time on this page, there are no names mentioned, so your complaints are unfounded. Get over it.

• Lesson number one: Bitching about everything will not make it better. In fact, bitching about everything shows that you are not a happy person, and from personal experience, I have learned that most people do not like to be around unhappy people.



• Lesson number two: If you are an unhappy person, your friends will not mind being about you if you are trying to fix that fact that you are unhappy. If you bitch about being unhappy, then they still don't want to be around you.



• You can tell somebody that you are his/her friend until you are blue in the face, but for that person to believe it, you must show it. Friends are not the people who are "accidentally" not invited to parties, but are always conveniently number one on your list when you don't understand chemistry, calculus, etc. In other words, being a true friend is a full-time job.



• MY PET PEEVE: Sometimes you can't blame anybody but yourself. When you grow up, you will realize that you are in control of your life. People are generally NOT out to screw you over. In fact, you had better be very careful about who you blame for something. If you blame them for the whole world knowing about a secret you told them--well, that does NOT mean that they blabbed. (You know who you are) To that person: I never mentioned it to anybody, so there is no way you can accuse me of telling. NAMES WERE NEVER MENTIONED. STOP BLAMING ME! IT REALLY PISSES ME OFF!



• Most importantly, you need to learn that the secret to happiness is loving yourself for who you are--that includes every single one of your faults. I consider myself the happiest person in the world right now because I love myself. I am totally content with who I am. Perhaps you should do a little soul searching to discover the same thing about yourself.

I can make a list to tell you everything I want to say, but I would never cover it all. The list above merely highlights the lessons you need to learn. I honestly cannot say anything more to you because I know that you have already closed your mind (after all, you came here without an open mind), and my words will not sink in. However, I want to make it clear that my objective in reposting this page was to eloquently, but rather bluntly, tell you how it is. All through high school, you influenced me and criticized my opinions. Now I understand that I am my own person, and it's OK to be different. In fact, it's an asset. I want you to know that I have learned the art of forgiveness (something in which Lindsey and I both have had practice), and I will not die holding a grudge against you. You are all in my prayers, and I hope that you will find a way to live life peacefully, without prejudice and without hate. I am sorry that I don't have friends, but I am not sorry for anything I have said. Why should I be? There is no reason. I am now finished with what I have to say. God bless you all.