HIV/AIDS and lesbians/bi women

WARNING: this page provides information on safe sex, thus contains explicit words and links to condom stores. If such things offend you, or if you are surfing with your kids, please go back to the main page.

Most people think sex between two woman doesn't transmit the HIV virus. While it is true that there are fewer risks than gay sex or heterosexual sex, lesbian sex is risky and I am the living proof of it. Some lesbians had sex with men in the past, or are injection drugs users, so they could have become infected and transmit the virus to another woman.

This section is not here to give extensive information on AIDS, as there are many existing sites serving this purpose. I'm here to tell lesbians and bisexual women to play it safe.

The HIV virus can be found in vaginal fluids, blood and breast milk. If your partner is HIV+ and any of these fluids gets into your body through your mouth, vagina, anus or cuts in the skin, there is risk of you becoming infected.

If you have cuts in your mouth or bleeding gums, you might have an open doorway for the virus to enter. Wait at least half an hour after brushing or flossing your teeth before kissing or performing oral sex on your partner.

If you put your fingers inside your partner you may be at risk. You can't always see or feel cuts on your hands, so it's best to play it safe by wearing latex gloves. You can buy a box of these at any drugstore, they are fairly cheap. You can also use finger cots.

Be especially careful if your partner is menstruating. Menstrual blood can contain enough HIV to be infectious.

Oral sex presents a HIGH RISK if you have cuts or sores in your mouth. Always use a dental dam. In the United States, it's fairly easy to buy dental dams, a small square piece of latex used by dentists to cover the mouth. If you can't afford them, you can make one easily enough by cutting off the tip of an unlubricated condom and then cutting through one edge before unrolling it. Another, even easier, solution is to use plastic wrap. Remember to only lick one side of the wrap or latex barrier and throw it away properly when you're done.

Don't share sex toys, or simply put on a condom on them, putting on a new one for the other person.

How do I know if my partner has HIV?

You won't know, unless she tells you. A person infected with HIV often doesn't show any signs of infection, and she may not even know she's infected. You can't tell if someone has HIV just by looking at her. You have to talk about it, and ask questions about each other's past partners - both men and women, drug use, and so on. Honesty is the best policy, but if you want to be safe, protect yourself by using the simple precautions listed above and consider having an HIV test.

Back DONATE My story Saving YOUR money THANK YOU