The Heart Nazis
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You know those conversation hearts? You know, the ones that say things like "Kiss me" and "I love you" on them? Well, NECCO(New England Confectionary COmpany) put out chocolate conversation hearts in the year 2000. The realese was overlooked but for a few - and for a wonderful reason as well.
THESE
TASTE
LIKE
CHALK!
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, chalk. These are not the delicious, crunchy and colored hearts we know. They are pale brown and taste like a combination of chalk and Maalox. And so, one Fourth of July, we celebrated our independance from the oppression of these disgusting things by maiming and torturing the little chalky things.
Disclaimer!
We are not really Nazis. What the Germans did back from early 1930's through the mid 1940's was an abomination. We simply took their name because we harass and maim these little "chocolate" hearts like the Nazis did to the Jewish, minorities, homosexuals, gypsies, the handicapped, and many other "substandard" groups. We do not at all condone this!! We love everyone except the little chocolate hearts! We don't even hate the person who invented them, just the hearts!
Secondly, we are not at all affiliated with NECCO and we do not claim sweethearts or the chocolate sweethearts as our own. They're both (c) NECCO. Oh, and Maalox is owned by someone else too. So please don't sue us or call us fascists, we really aren't!
enter already, sheesh
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