Clean Jokes and Tounge Twisters

I used Spot remover on my dog, and now he's gone.

I believe in the Big Bang theory. God said and !BANG! it was.

Beware of computer programmers with screwdrivers.

They asked my Uncle Ambrose if anybody in his family suffered from insanity. He said,"No, they all seem to be enjoying it."

Think about it: We eat over a ton of dirt a day.

Todays cars are aerodynamically designed. They're built to sit in traffic jams at high speed.

Three little boys were bragging about how tough they were.
"I wear out a pair of shoes in a month," the first little boy said.
"I wear out a pair of jeans in a week," the second little boy said.
"That's nothing," the other little boy said, "I wear out a babysitter in 20 minutes."

Mitzy: "I just read a very stirring book."
Gordan: "What was it about?"
Mitzy: "Cooking."

Strange strategic statistics.
Some shun shinshine on Sundays.
Luscious lemon liniment.
Rush the washing, Russel!
Toy boat.
Goofy gophers gobble goodies gladly.
How many cans can a canner can if a canner can can cans? A canner can can as many cans as a canner can if a canner can can cans.
Fran fans Fred Fred fanatically.

Two carpenters were building a house. One examined every nail before using it and ended up throwing half of them away.
"Why are you wasting those nails?" his partner asked.
"They're no good. The sharp pointsare on the wrong end."
"Yeah, but you could use those for the other side of the house."

Paul: "Why are you staring at that frozen orange juice can?"
Donna: "Can't you see? It say, 'concentrate'."

Beth: "Would you like to join me in a cup of tea?"
Veronica: "I don't think we'd both fit."

It was almost closing time, and the ice-cream parlor was running very low on supplies when a crowd of teenagers came in after a soccor game.
"What flavours do you have?" asked one.
"Chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, peach and cherry," said the clerk. "And you can have any one you want, as long as it's vanilla."

More coming Soon!