My Baby's Birth Story

I found out I was pregnant a year and a half after my marriage with a wonderful man of God, Gilles. I was then 19. It was a dream come true. This pregnancy was such a blessing and joy to me. Even though we really sruggle financially and that we move at that time, it was the happiest time of our life. Our due date was set for October 2, 1998.

We didn't want to know the sex. My husband was hoping for a girl, but I was sure it was going to be a boy. (mommy's feeling huh?!) :) ,p> At 31 weeks, the doctor told me I was 2 cm dilated and 10% effaced. They put me on a monitor and we listened to the baby's heart beat for 30 mins. I was nervous but what a great opportunity to listen! I was having false contraction every 15 minutes since I was about 30 weeks. The doctor told me I was going to have the baby before my due date. He put me on "rest" but happily not "bed rest". Well, my due date came and I was still pregnant. :)

I was pregnant but.... at 6 in the morning I wake up with some contraction. I was so used to having them (false one) that I thought it was the same thing. The only difference was that they were very regular, to the minute. At that time, my husband was working as a wood cutter on a christian land we knew. I liked to go with him, listen to the birds, walk around, read etc. I went with him that morning. My contractions were then every 30 mins, nothing to worry about. I was still not sure if they were true ones. They sure didn't feel the same...

At 2 in the afernoon, they really started to hurt but were still only 20 mins apart. It was time to go home anyway and I was kind of happy at the thought. The thought of delivering in the wood with my husband with birds as witnesses was not quite what I had planned. :)

We arrived home at 3 and it was still the same deal. We went for some shopping at Sears for a nursing bra. (I know a collection of bras size B to DD) lol. We went home and had a light snack (I am glad I didn't eat much that night) and sat down to watch a movie. At the end of the movie, at 8pm, oh girl did that hurt! But, my husband never noticed a thing as I am good to keep it for myself (that is what I thought then :P ) I planned from the start that I was going to have a medical and epidural FREE delivery, as we are missionnaries and I won't have this luxurious choice in Haiti one day. . . so better not get used to it!!

At 8, they were still only 15 mins apart but veryyy painful. As I didn't want to "show my pain" to my hubby (as I knew my face was beginning to tell something now haha), I said quietly that I was going to take a bath. He later told me he knew exactly why. :) It felt good in the bath tub. I stayed there for 2 hours. :) At 10, the contractions were 10 mins apart. My man went to bed. I went too. . . but got up as soon as I hit the matress. From 10 to 2 am. . . I walked in the apartment, tried not to wake my man, tried to have some confort somehow, checked how far apart the contrations were and how long. During each one of them, I told myself "that is it, that one is that last one for here, we have to go". As soon as it was done, I told myself "Well maybe we should wait longer" lol. My man was dead asleep and I was on the floor on my hands and knees trying to get through them like a big girl. hahaha! Don't forget that they were only 10 mins apart. Well, finally, at 2am I waked up my man. He was not happy. hahahaha! He thought I was only at the beginning. I told him I was having them since 6 am the last morning. He looked at me with this look on his face like if I was joking. hahaha. He believed me when the next one hit me and I couldn't help it but falled on the floor and breath. :))

At the hospital, the nurse was not in a hurry when I told her they were "only " 10 mins apart and last 90 seconds exactly. When she examined me she had that look on her face and said "Why did you wait so long??" I was 6 cm. I then took another bath. I was having so much back pain it was unbearable! I didn't screamed at all, but breathing very fast and holding and crushing anything I could not to let myself cry and scream like if I was dying. I screamed once in a very uncomftable position and found out it hurt MORE (for me anyway) when you scream because all you think is the pain. With the breathing, my focus was on something else.

I stayed in the tub for about 35 mins. When the nurse checked me again, I was 7... only 1 more!! I never thought a second about the epidural, as I told myself from the beginning it was NOT an option. I think that if you tell yourself "well if I can't do it i will take it". . . well dear sisters... be sure you will take it if you give yourself that option.

It took another 2 hours to get to the 8cm. My labor was so slowwww. Finally the big 9 came. . . but oh boy I felt I was not going to be able to go to 10! I was in active labor since a big 12 hours! I was "still" not screaming but was having some hyperventilation because I was breathing so fast. The contractions were every 30 seconds and lasted for 90 seconds. When I am in labor, I feel like I am on fire. . . I am so hot. . . I would need someone to put ice all over me all the time, someone just for that job. :))

I really started to feel like pushing. . . but. . . I was "only" 9 and the doctor told me it was not time and to hold it. Oh boy that was so hard. . . impossible to do. The contraction were killing me. One hour later it was still the same deal. . . still 9. . . another hour passed. . . by that time, I was in such pain from holding from pushing that I was kind in another world at each contraction. The doctor and 5 nurses were looking at me helpless during all those 2 hours. I was then still breathing very fast but as any women would do I was saying "hoooooo" all the way through. I didn't know what to think. Finally, the doctor asked me if I would like an epidural. at 9 cm?? My husband was then so upset and crying (he is a though guy!) He didn't let me choose and said "YES NOWW" haha. Well, guess what? The anesthesist was on duty and couldn't come. . . so, the doctor told me that was no sense, that I was not going to be able to endure that any longer and would pass out from the pain and so that they were only another solution before the c-section. . . to open my cervix herself by forcing it, but it was going to hurt a lot. I thought that could not hurt more than the contraction I was having for 28 hours now!! She tried it and oh yes she was ritht it hurt and I saw all black. . . but it WORKED!! I was 10!! Oh man I was soooooo happy to hear the word "push now". I push about 10 mins only! The baby was out. . . with the vacuum help and a 4th degree episiotomy. The nurse guessed 9 pounds. He was "only" 8 even, 22 inches long. . . a perfect baby boy. . . We took a picture right then, 5 second after he was out. I don't remember it but it is my favorite picture ever. :)

Gilles was crying as loud as me and our baby. :)) I was amased by the labor pain but especially that I did it!! Even more that this baby who was then inside of me was in my arms. . . nursing and drinking my milk like if it was the most natural thing in the world, like if he was telling me "was it worth it mom? wanna do it again?" lol It took a hour to "repair" my episiotomy. But now I don't have any "memory" of it (except the scar). It healed perfectly and didn't affect at all our sex life (can I say that to encourage others?) lol

10 months later, I gave birth (in 7 hours only) to beautiful twin girls. . . at 6 months pregnant. They died. Friend, please let me tell you this. . . all the pain, all the back labor, all the pushing holding, the 4th degree episiotomy, the 28 hours labor, the 8 days at the hospital, the epidural free and hard delivery that I experienced with my son. . . all that pain is nothing compared to the pain of my soul when our twin girls died in my arms after hours of labor spent alone. . . ENJOY your labor, smile in it, rejoice God in it, remember it, laught at it, because that pain is the most wonderful one that you can ever experience. . . because it brings you a life. . . God's creation. . . your child. . .

Please. . . don't ever be scared of labor. . . I can't wait to spend another 28 hours in pain. . . to hold a crying child. . . to hold a life, a soul. . .

Don't ever think bad things about labor. . . I did. I don't anymore. Because I know that is not pain. . . that is joy.

~ Lisanne

Copyright 2000 by author
Used by permission