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It starts early in the morning when out come the lucky jeans – a title held since Folkestone ‘99/’00. And don’t worry, numerous washes have not diminished their magical powers. The jeans are now usually combined with a plain t-shirt. I’d like to wear club colours, and do to those games that are not so important or that we are likely to lose and “the colours need to be seen”. However at the end of the day the facts speak for themselves – me wearing a football shirt spells certain defeat. The last time I wore glasses to a game, Waterlooville lost 4-0 at home to Yate. So a clearer indication that contact lenses are the order of the day could not be wished for. Sometimes, however, I feel that ‘going blind’ would have been the wisest choice. A late cooked breakfast is the only pre-match meal with proven results, and once fed the actual getting to the game is the next obstacle. As Much as I enjoy a beer, the recent lifts I have accepted have resulted in home defeats against Dorchester and Weymouth, so I’m driving again – after all, I don’t have to enjoy anything about a Saturday so long as the result is right in the end. Even once I’ve decided to drive you would not believe how many alternative routes there are from Drayton to Havant. I need to arrive at the club between 13:45 and 14:15 and when I enter the ground, I always have to have the right money. I am, however, open to advice about which is the luckier turnstileas both have let me down too often to mention. I single-handedly got us promoted last season by jiggling four £1 coins in my hand during each game, but in the Premier Division it’s not proving enough, and I may have to increase it to £2 coins! Finally I have resorted to an odd custom from ten years ago to see me through the last five minutes of a game in which we are hanging on to a load. I just don’t watch. I’ll look at the wall, my feet, even the church on the hill, anything but the game because what I can’t see can’t hurt me. So, that’s it. The final whistle goes and I can relax at last, knowing I’ve done my bit. And if you don’t believe how effective it can be, look at the Worcester game in the ‘99/’00 season. I followed all the superstitions perfectly, and despite the fact that we only had one shot on target and they forced over 20 corners to our one, there was only ever going to be one winner. They didn’t stand a chance! Chris Hardyman back to index |