First and foremost you must know yourself. Your limits, your interests, how to protect yourself, the safety issues, what you want, what you do not want and what you absolutely will not do. (commonly called a hard limit)
In my opinion, the absolute worst thing you can do at this point is to seek out a Dominant or a submissive before you discover these things and learn about the lifestyle. If someone asks you if you will do something and you have no idea what it really is you can end up with someone completely unsuited to you. It is of the utmost importance that you learn learn and learn some more before you even consider seeking out a Dominant or a submissive.
I strongly suggest that you find an experienced person to mentor you. If you are a submissive, seek out a real time experienced submissive. If you are a Dominant, seek a real time experienced Dominant to mentor you. Members of the opposite sex tend to have their own agendas when dealing with newbies. Especially when it comes to Dominants offering to Mentor a new submissive. I cannot tell you how many times I have seen online a "Dominant" offer to "mentor" a new submissive and in a matter of days he has the new submissive collared or is using her on the basis of training or some other nonsense. That is not what being a mentor is about in my opinion. If you find someone of the same gender and role as yourself you will not be pressured into moving too quickly. More importantly, you will have someone that can openly and honestly answer your questions based on their own experiences in the lifestyle and not what they think you want or need to hear.
I do wish to stress that you need to be very careful as to whom you listen too, especially online. It absolutely galls me the number of people I know to practice only online D/s giving out advice about real time situations. There is quite a difference between role-playing bondage and a session online, and actually placing your life in another's hands. Anyone can put the name Sir, Lord, Master, Dom, submissive, sub, or slave in their profile. However, this does not make them one.
Common sense will aid you a great deal on this journey you have undertaken. It is easy to lose sight of that at times because of the overwhelming desire to experience everything as quickly as possible. Read absolutely everything you can get your hands on. There are many excellent books about the lifestyle available and you can buy them online and have them shipped discretely to you.
In time all the confusing terminology will make sense to you, I promise! I am happy to answer questions that have not been covered here as well so please feel free to hit the email button below and ask away.
Remember to listen to your instincts and common sense! A bdsm relationship is still a relationship when it comes right down to it. Pity so many seem to forget that .
