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Sexuality and Identity Formation/Affirmation

While the avoidance of sexuality forms one prominent theme in the literature, sexuality emerges elsewhere as a site for identity affirmation, for some an absolutely crucial part of identity formation and self-acceptance. Rees recalls feeling "that until a normal woman had accepted me then it would be very difficult to love, accept and like myself" (Rees 1996:127). As for anyone going through serious life changes, the support of a romantic partner of one's identity, and the difficult processes of coming out, changing one's name and undergoing physical transition are of great importance to those who experience them, and is regarded by Bolin's respondents as "a situation most conducive to" transition (Bolin 1988:164). For those transsexuals who "cocoon" until surgery, engaging in sexual relations with reconfigured genitals may form the crown of what Bolin terms "the rite of reintegration" to society as the opposite sex (Bolin 1988). The need for acceptance via sex is considered so powerful that it has been asserted as a significant causal factor in disproportionate rates of HIV seropositivity and participation in sex work (see below).

Especially for those seeking sexual relationships before or without surgery, attracting sexual partners whose sexual history and/or orientation affirms their own gender identity -- a straight-identified FTM having a straight-identified female partner whose sexual history is only with men, or a dyke-identified MTF having a dyke-identified female partner, for example -- seems to be similarly important. Some however, especially FTMs who have come of age in lesbian communities (see Cohen 2001, Cromwell 1999, Nataf 1996), or married transsexuals who refuse to let transitioning end a good marriage (see Bolin 1998), are able to more or less happily negotiate a relationship with a partner whose orientation is apparently at odds with their own identity. Some transsexuals who transition and remain married, however, report that their relationship to their spouse becomes mostly or entirely platonic (e.g. Morris 1972).

For many, playing out gendered sexual roles is of tremendous importance. Tully again provides the archetypal scenarios: MTFs are preoccupied with passivity in intercourse, whereas "almost all" of the 67 FTMs he interviewed "emphasise the importance of taking active, leading control in lovemaking. It is an issue which is intimately tied up with their sense of gender identity and role" (Tully 1995:131). From this perspective, it should be unsurprising that very few FTMs report receptive vaginal or anal sex behaviors, whereas most MTFs report having receptive anal sex (Clements-Nolle 2001).

Learning Manhood

Several authors mention an interesting twist on identity development and sexual behavior, in which trans individuals gain from genetic male partners both a vicariously exciting experience of the maleness they desire to have, and lessons in male physiology and gender performance.

Mario Martino describes in his autobiography his first and only sexual encounter with a man, a friend who he was not attracted to but sought out as "an experiment":

"God, what I wouldn't give for such a set of organs!" [he recalls thinking upon undressing his friend.] I had no enthusiasm at seeing this set on Bart. I could only envision having my own and displaying it for Louise. With Bart, it was like being back in biology class with someone showing a model and slides of the human male genitalia. I was too absorbed to notice gradual engorgement until suddenly the phallus turned into an erect tool. (Martino 1977:109)

Brian Tully also quotes an FTM subject as saying that while the sexual relationship he had once had with a man had been unsatisfying, "he taught me how to make love to a woman" (1995:135). While these experiences were pre-transition, Devor reported similar motivating factors for post-transition sexual relations with men. At the time of their transition, most of her participants had had only cursory genital sex experience with males, only nonconsensual ones, or none at all. "In order to perform convincingly as straight men," she says, "participants needed to understand how men typically behaved in sexual and romantic encounters." Moreover, they lacked a working knowledge of penises, and thus "were desirous of conducting their own fieldwork." Those who dared to undertake casual sexual relations with men came away with "little useful information," but the experiences appear to have helped them consolidate a male identity, and a few articulated a lasting attraction to men (Devor 1997:508-9).

While Devor's participants overwhelmingly favored women in their sexual preferences, Hein and Kirk observed that

For FTMs who identified as gay or bisexual, sexual encounters with biological males provided opportunities to experience gender equality. Gay sex was described as man to man and reciprocal for both partners regarding power, control and submission. Sex with men also allowed participants to develop affinities with their partners’ genitals. One group member described viewing his partner’s penis as a friend. Other participants experienced vicarious enjoyment of male genitals. Group members also valued sexual energy with other men because it provided access to what one participant called cock energy. Some participants believed that having male energy was as important to their transition as having a male body. (Hein & Kirk 1999:112)

Analogous accounts from genetic male transpeople with genetic female partners were not seen in the literature. A likely explanation for this apparent disparity is that transmen and FTMs as a group are less likely to have intimate experience with members of the "opposite" genetic sense growing up than transwomen and MTFs, and therefore are more likely to seek out such experiences for these particular reasons, or to emphasize these aspects of sexual encounters with men.

Next Section: Effects of Hormones

Part II: My Study

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