So I havent posted here in like forver. That because I moved to xanga since well I am outright lazy. Anyways my xanga is at http://www.xanga.com/sleepyguy007. Yes I know its not that as cool.

Anyways, since I last updated this page, I went through depression, graduation, employment summer limbo at ASUCLA, and then got a crummy job as a computer operator in Orange County. I am currently leading the most boring life around and am saving money while looking for a better job. 2004 is coming soon and I hope it is a lot better than the last year. Anyway, if for some reason anyone reads this, check the xanga.

so today i see better luck tommorrow. it was pretty good, i mean the beginning reminded me of myself, though not so crazy. the end, though it seemed unrealistic i think given the emotional states of all those involved was possible. i thought it'd have one of those endings where it explained what everyone did in the future, but i guess not.

also i am sick, just like everyone else though i think i'm coming out of it. i must have gotten it when i was running in the middle of the night this week. overall 4th week was ok, though i didnt do shit thursday or friday since i was sick and slept all day. i did go clubbing thursday night for the first time. it was fun, probably will have to do that again. Lastly i bought a new in box nec 15" LCD monitor on anands for $190 shipped. pretty good price for new. i was tired of my monitor shaking during the days due to magnetic fields, hopefully this will fix it. its a lot smaller, but bah i dont really care much as long as i can browse the web.

Being drunk brings out all the sadness in people. And well on friday i had like i dunno, at least 16 drinks. So well yeah. I think that my only way to deal with things is working out. I am gonna work out so much now, that i'm gonna be bigger and trim. More than even now. I am gonna lift weights, play ball, and run like never before. Life's lessons have been painful for me, but well when it all ends i'll have my happy ending.

Sometimes good things require waiting. Painful, painful waiting that stirs up your insides, makes you wonder about everything and leaves you questions like no other. Music will heal me.

Now for what i've been doing. mostly just wandering aimlessly through life. went to econ and sat with kenny , connie and daichi. connie was the only really prepared one. umm, on wednesday i sang twice in the engineering talent show. i sang stand by me, solo, which was well... i guess i was pretty good, but i was so shaky and nervous. first time and all. but i got over that and i did backup for my friend pete's ron eisley contagious in the last song. it was a great even probably the best event we've ever done at esuc. um. yeah, that was a great experience.

Everything else isnt so great. class is ok, its still class. i dropped 161 again. i was taking it over since i got a D-, but i decided my quarter is already not so great, so might as well not make it shittier. work is still work, very chill and i get paid. been spending a ton of money lately so yeah, need money. need to sell off all this crap i have. anyone want a computer?

I don't know what to do anymore. Things seem to be falling from their highs of a few weeks ago , so i guess the bubble on my stock market has burst. Someone who i've grown to care a lot about is hurting and i cant help at all. Its frustrating. Someone else who i thought i knew pretty well, apparently i didnt, because that person is scary now. Thats pretty horrible too, that i dont even know my own friends. And others are just ignorant to the whole thing , and sometimes i envy them. But I know if i was like them i'd never have found these people who I am so close to now, that i care about them like they are part of me. Sigh. thats my new word/action for the month.

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	High
Antisocial:	High
Borderline:	Moderate
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	High
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

Today i started off well but ended in a near tradgedy. there was the normal work and school, and well the standard hans getting 2 hours sleep. but i made it and i was very upbeat. i practiced ron eisley's - contagious with pete and kim and well some woman giving a deloitte and touche infor session probably hates us now.

After that, me and alice went with our plan of kidnapping eric and meeting at the LAX chili's for a surprise birthday thing. but it didnt go as planned since we couldnt find the chili's. so we drove to claim jumpers in torrance instead , and it was all great. we had 2 ore carts and it really filled us 4 guys up. the girls and sam and mihir had other food like a pizza and some lettuce wraps.

So we left that and went to PV to look at a nice view sam knows about since he's from there. then we came back and took hawthorne down past the ghetto lawndale to get on the freeway. i guess sam lost control and hit a rail on the way up the onramp, and his car like bounced off. his air bags deployed and they were all ok. but his car was messed up. rex almost got run over by a truck, and alice hurt her shin with a contusion. so we had to drive her to ucla med center. i was pretty worried they were hurt bad since i was in the car behind and i know alice doesnt wear a seatbelt a lot and the car was pretty loaded. luckily she had a seatbelt and she didnt break her neck or anything. and sam pulled rex away when the truck almost killed him. the car looked like it was gonna tip over too it was like a pond skipping rock. it was crazy. anyways i'm glad my alice , rex , sam and eric are all ok and i think maybe this might even help give us some new perspective on life.

Today i had a really relaxing day. Hung out, played ultimate frisbee, ate at the donalds. it was pretty good. have a lot of other good things happening too. i think i've never been happier really. last night i went to the beach and got a parking ticket, went to a party too, but all the people i knew left so i only stayed half an hour. ahhh.... life is good.

Well got my grades back and now i'm on subject to dismissal. apparently i really really failed my 161 final, so i think i'm gonna probably take it over after i talk to the prof on monday. Sucks, but well i'm graduating, they cant really kick me out , since i'm getting kicked out either way.

I was mad about that for about an hour, but well now, i'm happy again. things have never looked better for me. i have no job, i'm on std, and things are great.... wow.

Well i just got back from vegas. Lost about $50 and i have decided i hate slot machines. black jack is ok. Ate food, and had a lot of fun, but left with lots of topics to think about. Lets just say it was interesting. I went with sam, alice, eric, rex and diana. Oh well, i think i came out of it pretty well. Anyways here is a picture of me , one of my better pictures ever that alice took of me. I think i'm leaning against a big statue or something since my ankle wasnt all healed yet (i walked A LOT) and well pain killers and leaning fixed it.

sleepyguy007: dude
sleepyguy007: after my last 2 finals
sleepyguy007: all i wanted to do
sleepyguy007: was ball
sleepyguy007: and just 
sleepyguy007: straight up posterize some people
sleepyguy007: and after doing that today
sleepyguy007: the world punishes me
sleepyguy007: and takes me out
sleepyguy007: after just a taste of it
sleepyguy007: i mean when you crossover a guy so bad
sleepyguy007: and score on him
sleepyguy007: that the other team oooohs an aaaahs
sleepyguy007: man you feel good
sleepyguy007: and now i feel bad
sleepyguy007: stupid world
sleepyguy007: i should be invincible

Well CS132 project 5 was turned in. its all buggy and a pile of crap, but better than completely not working. This class has ruined my life, i had a dream about it again where i was doing a crossword puzzle about it in econ with terry. now that was weird. Last time i had a dream where i was like stuck to a chair , and the computer screen just kept saying segfault over and over. GAH, this class has ruined my quarter. Our last project starts soon, and i am debating if i should even try it or just study for finals. oh well, going to vegas spring break, will make it all better.

Anyways, i still havent applied for any jobs. Oh well no one who IS applying is getting any, so whats the difference . been too busy with this stupid class. Then again, i probably should make time. hopefully i'll have some after finals. can spend a good 2 days on it and just do whatever. Also i realized yesterday that all my friends have their strange nuances. well not all of them but some of them you just cant figure out sometimes and you are like what the hell happened? I'm thinking maybe its a communications problem, as some of my friends some things they misinterpret really bad. Anyways...

I happily have sold off my extra laptops, which is good, i had way too many of those. I was mad the other day that one of my hard drives broke. piece of crap. still have to get rid of a few more things, but it shouldnt be too bad. by spring break, i'll have amassed a decent amount of money hopefully, since i lost some on the laptops. but yeah, it should be ok. dell finally mailed out my $600 so thats like a bonus, and i have to sell the dell server i bought that hasnt arrived yet. hopefully that'll provide some nice gambling money too.

I also bought a cool new messenger bag / laptop case by jansport. its charcoal and red and black, and well, it looks likea normal bag, just inside is a padded laptop area, but you cant tell at all there is a laptop in there. This is what i call progress. hehe. Terry is gonna hook me up with command and conquer generals too, woohoo. Oh well i got cs161 to code, shouldnt be too bad, i have a knack for AI programming it seems.

Well i've been doing pretty allright lately. Bought like 4 laptops, resold like 3 of them, because well the 4th one my dad got for me and it was really nice. all really hot deals, but i think i underestimated the economy since i'm basically breaking even on them. oh well, such is the risk you take. Anyways i ended up with a vpr matrix 120-180b5. my dad actually ordered it since he was ordering a hot deal laptop for his friend, and got a compaq and this so he had an extra. he gave me the better one since his friend didnt really care which one, since speed is secondary to him. He got the compaq 2101us which my friend sam also got. Anyways my laptop is pretty badass, $980 after rebate. its a p4-1.8 M, 512mb ddr, 15" screen, dvd/cdrw 8x speeds, and radeon 7500 32mb. also have built in wifi and weighs 5.8 pounds. I also pulled out its 30gb 2mb cache 4200 rpm drive, and popped in the toshiba 40gb 5400rpm 16mb cache drive which is quite a bit faster. very nice over all and has a see through keyboard too which is cool. Its my main machine now, outside of my junk box, which i upgraded recently. the old celeron 500 is an athlon 1900 now, it just sits in the closet though so its kinda a waste.

I have also been working my new job and thats pretty good, Mike might actually be more of a crazy hot dealer than i am i'd put him on par with matt. I've also been selling tons of high end video cards on ebay and though the economy is supposed to be bad, its surprising how many people will still pay $280 for a video card. Lastly i've been doing lots of cs132, which i am probably gonna get a C in unlike the A's i'm probably getting in my other 2 classes. The projects are so hard, and i turned two of them late, and even got sick from not sleeping for so long. that class is the worst ever, because it has ruined like 5 of my weekends this quarter. it's gonna ruin part of next weekend too, but at least i get to go to clippers vs. sonics, and see ray allen. Cs161 has been really easy so far, and i really like the professor, he is one of those rare ones who can keep your attention and actually cares about his class, since well he asked all of us for feedback personally.

In other classes my kick back class econ 160 seems to be going well. I was kinda afraid i was unprepared for the midterm, but i walked in and probably aced it, havent gotten it back yet, but it was super easy, i think i was the first one out of there. It was a miracle i even made it, i woke up like 20 minutes before the midterm, and then Sep drove me over there. The other odd thing was that this other CSE/bizecon major guy told me baim has hard midterms. That guy must be dumb, since it was a cakewalk. The guy teaches at pepperdine right.. gotta be pretty easy, hell its an econ class for god's sake. ok enough bashing econ, since i am dying in my own major that is tougher than hell right now because of cs132. i really need to find some time to apply for jobs, though i think its futile to even try right now since no one is getting jobs at all it seems. oh welli need someone to put in a good word for me somewhere. At least i have IT experience if anything i can do that and not program for a while, just to have a job at all. oh well.

Yesterday, i had this sudden urge to program, and actually finished my cs161 program in like 4 hours. I was amazed, and the code was so tightly written, i think it was only like 30ish lines. Today i was also impulsive and tried to bbq a steak at eric, rex and sams, but the microwave is a bitch and the defrost estimate was wrong, thus basically boiling my beautiful 2 pound sirloin in the microwave. me and rex then tried to foreman it, and eat it, and well eh it was horrible. rex still ate his whole steak though, we made baked potatoes, eggs and spam too. then i fell asleep on their couch and that was that. After i woke up around 1 i watched the matrix prequel animatrix thing rex downloaded. its at www.animatrix.com and its pretty cool i am thinking i'll buy the dvd in june when it comes out.

Anyways as expected i got the job for pc support days at ASUCLA. its $1 more an hour, but an average of 7 hours less a week. I like it better since its a stable flow of random fun money, and well the job is less lonely and well i get to move and do stuff. Sure we do actual work and deal with idiot users, but we joke about it later. Its not all sitting around like the other job. So anyways for the last week i've had 2 jobs, which kinda sucks since its like 27 hours a week, and i had 2 projects those weeks too. Thursdays this means being at work from noon to 5 , and then 6 to 1am for the other job. my other job officially ends this sunday since my boss ray is a lazy ass and didnt hire anyone since he says all the applicants so far are morons. They've got to be pretty damn stupid since the job is not that hard. a highly trained monkey i think could do it. My new job is pretty cool, its only tuesdays and thursdays 12 to 5. like my little community of asucla pc support people (its the same guys, so like ray is still around, and i already had heard of a bunch of them) is pretty cool. Ric the manager is like the old guy who tells about the ibm mainframe days and back when ackerman was running macs, etc. Also my new co-worker who works 1-5 on tues and thurs with me, is mike ikegawa, who is tony's roomate, and well apparently he knows some of you torrance people from NSU. he's a really cool guy, like computers are his hobby apparently though he's poli sci and basically we just talk about random shit while wandering around to all of asucla's sites while checking out girls. north campus really is much nicer than boelter by the way i urge you all to sit there and just enjoy.

Well, i finished my CS161 and CS132 projects. We were writing our parsers in CS132 and it was so frustrating. the book is horrible, the message board is even more confusing. Me and some of my esuc friends, were all there doing the project, and we found a 15" monitor. I thought about throwing it off the engineering building, but it was a working monitor, and woulda been a waste.

Anyways now that that is all done i'm really relaxed. Acne stopped again. CS makes acne i swear it. Anyways, i finished that project early at 10am. so like, i slept from about noon to 6 and went to my IM game. First day for the new team. too many people came, and IM has this new rule where you cant share jerseys which really sucked. we lost like 68-23 , i jammed my thumb to the point of not being able to use it anymore. all my shots were off, they were doubling me in the backcourt, and no one was moving. we turned it over A LOT. and we're out of shape. i dont feel as bad though since the other team really should have been playing in A league not C.

After that i went over to subway with eric and alice around midnight, since i hadnt eaten. ate a seafood and crab which i thought was good because i had one during winterbreak, but i musta been on crack. shoulda got the italian bmt. Anyways, like terry i went laptop again. Mine is the toshiba, and i also got a new hard drive, the toshiba 4019gax, its 5400rpm also, and 16mb cache. most of the reason i got it was for more space, but its 5400rpm too (cost the same on anands new sealed as a 4200rpm does online). So now i'm looking at p4 chip auctions so i can replace the CPU since i figure i might as well if i'm gonna take the laptop apart. really hoping to get one und