Hamburg Kings Player Biographies:

James L. Latona
Captain, Hamburg Kings Hockey Club
Nicknames:  "LT", "Jamie", "Jimbo"
Uniform Number:  9
(formerly number 69)
Position:  Center
Shoots:  Right
Hometown:  Hamburg, NY
Current Contact Information:

Home Address: 191 State Street, #3 Brooklyn, NY  11201 map   Work Address: c/o Fitch Ratings One State Street Plaza 28th Floor New York, NY  10004

Home Phone:  None Cell Phone:  917 513-4824 (aka 51 FITCH) Work Phone (direct):  212 908-0807 Work Phone (operator):  800 75 FITCH E-mail (personal):  jlatonahotmail.com E-mail (work):  james.latonafitchratings.com

Former Residences: Lancaster, NY; Geneseo, NY
DOB:  October 4, 1974
Sign:  Libra
Status:  Single
Education: B.A., Economics, State University of NY at Geneseo
Favorite food: A fine medium-rare prepared Steak, fillet mignon cut
Family: Joseph D. (Father), Sharon (Mother), Gina (Sister), Jenny (Sister), Joseph (Brother), Jeremy (Brother),
Donald (Stepfather), Martin (Brother-in-law), Joseph (Brother-in-law), Angela (Sister-in-law),
Emily (Niece), Corey (Nephew), Zeke (Nephew), Nicholas (Nephew)
 Favorite Arena: Buffalo Memorial Auditorium (aka "The Aud")

Career stats:

1989	Hamburg Kings	8 games played  1G  3A
2000	Heroes of Hockey Playoff Competition	41 pts. - *Grand Champion*
2001	Heroes of Hockey Playoff Competition	35 pts. (3rd Place)
2002	Heroes of Hockey Playoff Competition	12 pts. (6th Place)
2003	Heroes of Hockey Playoff Competition	33 pts. (2nd Place)
2004	Heroes of Hockey Playoff Competition	41 pts. (2nd Place)

Skills:

• Speed - Average
• Agility - Above Average
• Shot Power - Average
• Shot Accuracy - Average
• Stickhandling - Above Average
• Passing - Above Average
• Aggressiveness - Above Average
• Physical Play - Average
• Endurance - Low to non-existent
• Leadership - Above Average
• Tacticality - Superhuman

Founded the team, along with Alternate Captain Kris Blaser during the tumultuous Summer of '89.
Also served as team President, General Manager, Scout, and Player-Coach.  Lists the event and subsequent
season to be, in hindsight, one of the biggest career mistakes of his life.  Served as team captain for 5 of the
eight games he played in (captaincy relinquished twice in interim status to Alternate Captain, K. Blaser,
once to Winger Matt Damstetter, and served as bench Captain/Head Coach for the final contest of the season,
for which no player was designated acting captain [Note: there was no captain for the forfeited Game 9].)
Tied for third among goal scorers, and second among point leaders during that innaugural season of play.

Analysis:  Is quick, though not technically fast over extended distances;  has good balance and puck/ball control;
one of the fastest shot releases in the game;  thorough overall knowledge of the game and its inner nuances;
highly regarded for his faceoff skills;  considers his passing ability to be his greatest asset.  His defensive skills are
a definite weakness, but usually his offensive production can make one overlook those shortcomings;
Can play on the wing and on the point for special teams;  Has a temper, and has been known to take crippling penalties.

 
 
 

Matthew P. Damstetter, doting husband and proud papa
Nicknames:  "Purcell", "Danny", "Private", "Corporal", "Phil", "Matt"
Uniform Number:  11
Position:  Left Wing
Shoots:  Left
Hometown:  Hamburg, NY
Current Contact Information:

Address: 74 Union Street Hamburg, NY  14075 map

Home Phone:  716 649-8915 Cell Phone:  716 472-7037 E-mail:  mdamstetter32yahoo.com

DOB:  February 10, 1974
Sign:  Aquarius
Status:  Newlywed
Education: Graduate, Hamburg Senior High School
Favorite food: Surf 'n' Turf;
Pizza 'n' Wings plus a side salad with a nice Roquefort dressing
Family: Lisa (Wife), Genevieve (Daughter), Philip J. (Father), Dolores (Mother), Angela (Sister),
Joseph T. (Father-in-law), Nancy (Mother-in-law), Tracy (Sister-in-law),
Nicole (Niece), Ryan (Nephew)
Favorite Arena: Court B, Village of Hamburg

Career stats:

1989	Hamburg Kings	8 games played  1G  3A
2001	Heroes of Hockey Playoff Competition	34 pts. (4th Place)
2002	Heroes of Hockey Playoff Competition	24 pts. (4th Place)
2003	Heroes of Hockey Playoff Competition	30 pts. (4th Place)
2004	Heroes of Hockey Playoff Competition	33 pts. (t. 3rd Place)

Skills:

• Speed - Above Average
• Agility - Average
• Shot Power - Above Average
• Shot Accuracy - Below Average
• Stickhandling - Average
• Passing - Below Average
• Aggressiveness - Well Above Average
• Physical Play - Above Average
• Endurance - High
• Leadership - Moderate
• Tacticality - Moderate

Was the first player signed to an official contract of the team, via fax machine.  (And subsequently, only one of
two players officially under contract).  Some consider his over-enthusiastic signing of said contract and reckless disregard
of the fine print to be his downfall.  (That, in addition to his failure to request any form of compensation.)
Suffered a non-hockey chest injury forcing him to miss one game, though was usually eager to play as much as
possible otherwise.  Served as team captain for a single contest, of which the club suffered its most humiliating
("most humiliating" - surely an oxymoron) defeat to the score of 18-1.

Analysis:  Is a quality all-around player in every sense and coveted in high regard;  not afraid, unlike so many others,
to actually run back down the long, long rink, into his defensive end to attempt to backcheck;  unquestionably has
claim to being the player in finest physical condition on the team, both then and now;  offers both a powerful slap and
wrist shot, albeit of questionable trajectory;  can always be depended on for a highly-charged physical style of play,
though that, combined with a genuinely surly attitude, often results in an inordinate number of penalty minutes, usually
occurring at the "worst possible time";  Able to provide group transportation, which was among his greatest assets
and skyrocketed his value to the club.


 

Steven F. Deisig, esq.
Nicknames:  "D", "Dice", "Big Mon", "Pac-Rim Man", "Franchise", "Frank", "Steve"
Uniform Number:  15
Position:  Defence
Shoots:  Both
Hometown:  Hamburg, NY
Current Contact Information:

Address: 265 Buckeye Road Amherst, NY 14226 map

Home Phone:  716 833-0976 Cell Phone:  716 984-1580 E-mail:  deisigyahoo.com

Former Residences: Bowling Green, OH; Bratislava, Slovakia; Ithaca, NY; Syracuse, NY; San Jose, CA
DOB:  October 18, 1974
Sign:  Libra
Status:  Single
Education: Bowling Green State University; B.S., Industrial & Labor Relations, Cornell University
Favorite food: (tie) Pizza Hut Pepperoni Pan Pizza / John & Mary's Pizza Sub
Family: Carl H. (Father), June (Mother), Emily (Sister)
Favorite Arena: (tie) Bell Centre, Montreal, Quebec / Lynah Rink, Ithaca, NY

Career stats:

1989	Hamburg Kings	9 games played  1G  2A
2000	Heroes of Hockey Playoff Competition	33 pts. (2nd Place)
2001	Heroes of Hockey Playoff Competition	44 pts. (2nd Place)
2002	Heroes of Hockey Playoff Competition	35 pts. - *Grand Champion*
2003	Heroes of Hockey Playoff Competition	27 pts. (6th Place)
2004	Heroes of Hockey Playoff Competition	44 pts. - *Grand Champion*

Skills:

• Speed - Average
• Agility - Average
• Shot Power - (Left) Below Average / (Right) Above Average
• Shot Accuracy - (Left) Above Average / (Right) Below Average
• Stickhandling - Average
• Passing - Above Average, though infrequent
• Aggressiveness - Above Average
• Physical Play - Average
• Endurance - Moderate
• Leadership - Moderate
• Tacticality - Above Average

While never officially under contract to the Kings organization (another oxymoron?), was highly sought after and was
the first player scouted for the team, and was always considered to be an integral component of the club.  Difficulties
soon ensued in uniform sizing, practice ethic, and cooperation/courtesy among teammates.  While Steve has been known
to frequently offer ridicule, disparaging comments, and personal critique to the memory of the Hamburg Kings, has also
been known to fondly reminisce (or act in a similar fashion).  Truly a journeyman for the team, he was among an elite who
can claim to have participated (and as far as team standards are concerned, excelled) at all six player positions:
three forward, two defensive, in addition to a short stint as goaltender.  Ranks among his greatest claims to fame
of holding the record for the only period of scoreless hockey while he tended goal, a feat never duplicated,
though often attempted.  Record still stands to the present day.  Also managed to avoid losing a lucrative wager in the
closing moments of the final game by scoring his first goal of the season from a tricky angle at an even trickier distance.

Analysis:  Arguably the best defenseman on the squad;  Unarguably the most knowledgeable;  what he lacks in dexterity,
he more than compensates for in enthusiasm, frustration, and desire;  Only conscious ambidextrous member of the team,
which provides him a greater wealth of offensive weapons, in addition to the ability to overcome shortcomings by merely
changing the curve of his stick.  While he is no stranger to the penalty box, he usually demonstrates high levels of self-control.
Though he is most regarded for his defensive skills, he certainly has an eye for the opposing net (and for glory)
and is often enticed to take the puck the length of the rink, to mixed results.
 
 
 

Kristofer M. Blaser, Alternate Captain, sniper
Nicknames:  "K", "Blaze", "Doc", "Dep", "Mr. Blaster", "Taylor", "Blasser", "Kris"
Uniform Number:  17
(formerly number 44)
Position:  Right Wing
Shoots:  Right
Hometown:  Hamburg, NY
Current Contact Information:

Address: 24 E Main Street Hamburg, NY  14075 map

Home Phone:  716 649-2574 Cell Phone:  716 604-6607 E-mail:  kblaserhotmail.com

Former Residences: Angola, NY; Orchard Park, NY; Oswego, NY
DOB:  October 11, 1974
Sign:  Libra
Status:  Escaped Convict, at large
Education: State University of NY at Oswego; Erie Community College;
B.A., English, State University of New York at Buffalo
Favorite food: Uncle Joe's Diner's Rock 'n' Roll Burger, Blasdell, NY;
Mike's Famous 3-Alarm Cajun-Style Chili
Family: Michael H. (Father), Linda (Mother), Joseph (Brother), Lauren (Sister), James (Nephew)
Favorite Arena: Hamburg Town (Ice) Arena (aka "The Nike Base")

Career stats:

1989	Hamburg Kings	9 games played  1G  2A
2000	Heroes of Hockey Playoff Competition	29 pts. (3rd Place)
2001	Heroes of Hockey Playoff Competition	49 pts. - *Grand Champion*
2002	Heroes of Hockey Playoff Competition	33 pts. (3rd Place)
2003	Heroes of Hockey Playoff Competition	35 pts. - *Grand Champion*
2004	Heroes of Hockey Playoff Competition	33 pts. (t. 3rd Place)

Skills:

• Speed - Average
• Agility - Average
• Shot Power - Average
• Shot Accuracy - Average
• Stickhandling - Average
• Passing - Above Average
• Aggressiveness - Average
• Physical Play - Moderate
• Endurance - Moderate
• Leadership - Average
• Tacticality - Above Average

One of the team founders and to this day, remains head and shoulders above most as their largest supporter.
Without his dedication to the organization's mission, and his steadfast love of the game, the Hamburg Kings as we
know it could not have existed.  (Take that as you will).  Served as team captain for two non-consecutive games,
of identical result.  Holds the prestigious honor of scoring the first goal in the illustrious history of the Hamburg Kings
organization.  (Few would follow).  The whereabouts of that ball remain in litigated dispute.  Was one of only three
sets of siblings on the team, in some form or another, but was the only player to wear his first initial on his uniform,
for which to clarify his person from that of his brother.  One of only a small elite who can claim "iron man" status by
not missing a single sanctioned contest, and has been a frequent proponent to re-organize and re-mobilize the
hockey club for further future play.  Time will tell.  Note that Blaser's signed contract remains on file.

Analysis:  A quality player considered most dangerous as a sniper with a dangerous wrist shot and an even deadlier
slap shot;  has the ability to play on the off-wing;  consistently looking for the quick breakout and offensive turnover;
his hockey knowledge only paralleled by that of Latona and Deisig;  is eager to pass in addition to shooting the puck,
often to positive results;  Has an uncanny ability to get open for the pass and surprise defenses;  Has a measured
control of his temper and prefers to avoid an overly physical contest, which usually prevents foolish penalties.

Has been sighted recently re-honing his skills...

Canadian One-Dollar Coin, Devalued Currency, bellweather
Nickname:  "Loonie"
Uniform Number:  .74
Position:  Statistic against which, all others are measured
Hometown:  Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
Resides:  Canada, U.S. desk drawers, assorted G-strings
DOB:  May 1, 1987
Family: Penny, Nickel, Dime Quarter, 50 Cent Piece, Two Dollar Coin (aka "twoonie"),
and $5, $10, $20, $50, $100, and $1000 dollar bills
Favorite Arena: N/A

Career stats:

The coin was introduced in May 1987, but was unpopular until the government withdrew the one-dollar paper bill from
circulation.  Unlike several American attempts to introduce a similar dollar coin, the new coins were quickly accepted by
the public, owing largely to the fact that the treasury and government forced it upon its citizens "cold turkey", as well as
it's convenient 26.5mm diameter - forever changing the stage dancers-to-teeth proximity ratio.  The Loonie has been the
scourge for female French-Canadien and European entertainers, ever since.  God, keep that land, glorious and free...


Analysis:  The eleven-sided, 26.5mm-wide, 2mm-thick, yellow-gold coin, utilizing the finest Nickel from the Inco
Metals Company of Sudbury and Bronze-plated by the Sherritt Gordon Mines of Fort Saskatchewan,
was unceremoniously added to the ranks of the Heroes of Hockey in the Spring of 2002.  Initially intended in
jest, and later functionally as a supplement for the late or missing picks of others, it has settled into its current role
as waterline for all non-metallic contestants.  Assuming an approximate 50-50 neutrality, the shame and disgrace of
losing to the coin has set an unofficial point floor to the competition.  Never before, has the phrase, "You don't have
to be first, just don't be last", rang so clearly and poignantly.