Our Story

Tim and Sway

Tim and I met through mutual friends; our best friends live together, (thanks Jeff and Caroline!)

She Said:

On Friday, August 30th Caroline invited me to Dos Amigos for dinner (a Friday night tradition with that circle of friends). When I got there I saw a cute guy and a girl sitting at the table, I assumed they were together. Until, Michelle’s boyfriend showed up, then I knew Tim was single, Oh Yah! I convinced Tim to go back to Caroline & Jeff’s with me for some drinks. A great time was had by all, foot rubs to boot.

Saturday, Jeff and Caroline were supposed to go to a “Couples Only” night at Islands, so I was originally not invited; but Jeff said that if Tim came then we still had an even number, even though we were not a “couple”. Caroline assured me she was not trying to set us up. Jeff & Caroline, John & Robin, and Tim & I all went back to Jeff & Caroline’s house for a few drinks (go Scooby snacks!) As the evening wore on, Tim and I sat closer and closer, another foot rub – I’m in heaven. At some point, John & Robin went home then, Tim kissed me. Wow! Our first kiss. Jeff & Caroline's couch will always hold a special place in my heart.

The next night Tim called and said he wanted to see me again. I was torn. I really wanted to see him, and yet… I hadn’t spent any time with my family while I was in LA, and I had already missed Auntie Faye’s Labor Day Party. It was Family Game Night (Tripoli) at my sister’s house; all the family was there: my uncles, their wives, my parents, my sister, her family, and even some cousins. Caroline was already invited. I decided to invite Tim but warn him how utterly crazy my family can be. That brave Man came to my crazy Family Game Night and met the whole clan. Wow! I’m impressed! After a couple hours of Family Game Night, Caroline Tim and I headed over to my Dad’s house to meet with Jeff to play more games and have a few too many drinks. (Yah, Scooby Snacks?)

I had to leave that morning at 5 or 6 am. Tim and I stayed up all night talking like we had known each other for years. We planed to stay in touch and exchanged e-mail and phone numbers. He did get me back to my sister’s house in time to leave. All in all, we had a great first weekend, with many more to follow.

Thanks for being the person you are, Tim, I love you.

He Said:

On Friday, August 30th, I called Jeff up to make sure we were meeting at Dos Amigos as usual. I don't have a lot of rituals in my life, but Friday night Mexican food with Jeff and Caroline is one of them. Jeff and I have been friends for about five years now and we share the same sense of humor. There are some friends who, when you get together, tend to drag you down to their level and then there are others who lift you up to theirs. Jeff is the latter. He's so witty, funny, and creative that I find myself naturally being my best when I'm around him. He and Caroline are the type of people I like to introduce friends to because they reflect well on me. Sometimes eight of us will show up at Dos Amigos on Friday. Sometimes it's only three. But I always end up laughing so hard that I feel healthy for days afterwards.

That evening on the phone, Jeff said they were going to be a little late. Caroline's friend Sabrina was in town and like typical girlfriends when they get together, they were taking a long time to, well, get themselves together. He told me to go on ahead. Dave and Michelle would probably already be there and He and Caroline and Sabrina would get there as soon as they could.

I had never heard of this friend "Sabrina" before. But I admit I was a little curious. If she was anything like her friend Caroline, she would likely be young, (Caroline is more than ten years younger than Jeff), and probably cute, (Caroline is cute).

When I got to the little hole-in-the-wall restaurant, only Michelle was there. Her boyfriend, Dave was running late as well. We ordered beer and food and began to catch up. I guess we were in rapt conversation when Jeff, Caroline and Sabrina arrived.

My first impression of Sabrina lived right up to my expectations. She was young and cute, had a great smile, and a mane of long, blonde hair. When she began talking, I knew Jeff was going to have competition that night and there were going to be two outgoing people monopolizing the conversation. I could tell she liked to talk, and that was fine with me.

She seemed comfortable and easy with strangers in the way I am only with my closest friends. She was young and I was at least ten years older than her. She looked wild and risky to me, whereas I thought of myself as straightforward, dependable, and safe. In other words, she was exactly the type of girl I like.

I decided my job for the evening was to make this young woman laugh as much as possible, and I think I did pretty well. Either that, or she had lots of natural laughing talent. Without Jeff around I might have been a little shy, but with the two of us playing off each other, I was at my best.

When the restaurant closed, there was the offer to go back to Jeff's place for drinks, but I wanted to test the waters first.

"Thanks. But I think I'm going to head home," I said. "I've got to get up early tomorrow and I'm already pretty tired".

"Oh no." said Sabrina, looking suddenly offended. She pointed at Jeff and Caroline then at her and me. "Boy-girl, boy-girl. You're not leaving me to be a third wheel"

"Ow. Ow. Twist my arm," I said, happy at the way things were going. I tagged along and we all went to Jeff's house for more drinks and more comedy. By the time I finally did end up going home, I was positive I wanted to see Sabrina again but wasn't sure how to arrange it.

The next morning while Jeff and I were cruising all the local garage sales, looking for junk to sell on E-bay, I tried to drop some hints about how I had really been impressed by Caroline's friend the night before. I didn't come right out and ask him to set us up on a date, because I was afraid of seeing doubt in his eyes. He knew Sabrina and I were very different, and I didn't want to risk the chance of him telling me that. Stupid, I know. But I hoped the hints would be good enough.

I doubt that it was really the hints that did it, but later that afternoon Jeff called me up and asked me if I'd like to go to dinner at Islands that night with John & Robin. Since it was a couples night, they needed me so that Sabrina could go too. I tried not to show how excited I was at this news. Strangely, I was also very calm. A sense of inevitability was creeping up on me. I wasn't egotistical enough to think it out loud, but I felt deep down inside that I was going to get tangled up with Sabrina in ways that weren't going to be easy to untangle. I had this same feeling when I first met my last serious girlfriend and I was having it again now. I told myself I was foolish and got dressed.

That night at Islands I got a repeat of the night before at Dos Amigos. Lots of fun. The six of us ended up going to Jeff and Caroline's afterwards again for drinks. Robin mixed us White Lifesavers and Jeff poured us Scooby Snacks, (Sabrina's recipe). Again, I didn't have to worry about being funny and witty in front of Sabrina - I was already comfortable with her, so it seemed to come naturally.

Soon the two of us were sitting snug together on the sofa. I was rubbing Sabrina's feet and she was enjoying it. I had an intense desire to kiss her, but I didn't want to do it in front of everybody. I tried to be patient. I massaged Sabrina's feet some more while we laughed over a bad Hawaiian lounge show that Jeff had on video, then Robin and John decided to call it a night. We all said goodbye and then soon after that Jeff and Caroline got tired and decided they each needed to go to bed too. Suddenly it was just Sabrina and I, alone in the room. The TV was off and the room was dark, and I leaned over and Sabrina leaned back and we kissed. It was worth the wait.

The next day was Sunday and we were each busy with our own activities, but that night I wanted to see Sabrina again. I was hoping see her alone - but that just wasn't to be. She called me at home and said that she needed to spend some time with her family since she was only in town for the weekend.

"You're welcome to come join us for Game Night," she said. "But I have to warn you that my family is crazy." She sounded serious.

Oh well. I needed to meet her family eventually, right? I just didn't expect it on the second date! Or with the whole family at once. But there was more in Sabrina's voice than just warning about how crazy her family was. From things she had told me the night before, I knew that she had been hurt a lot emotionally in the past and didn't have a lot of faith in men. I wondered if she felt she was moving too fast with a man she hardly new at all. If I needed to slow things down and build some trust with her, then so be it. I decided I better go to her family's game night at her sister's, even if she wasn't sure she wanted me there.

When I walked into the house, there was controlled mayhem going on. Little kids and a dog were running about, while a table-full of adults was playing Tripoly loudly. It was a hot summer night, so the men were shirtless and in shorts. The women were in nightgowns or shorts and t-shirts. Pennies were in stacks all over the table. I grabbed a stool next to Sabrina and Caroline and tried not to feel out of place. I met her mom, her sister, her brother-in-law, some uncles, cousins, etc. I felt like they were all ignoring me yet looking at me critically - "Who's this strange guy with Sabrina?"

They were rough and loud and relaxed, but overall pretty friendly and I could sense a lot of good family love there. I began to relax too. They reminded me of the Peruvian-side of my family, who are my favorite people in the world.

That feeling of inevitability was creeping up on me again. I remember looking at Sabrina in shorts, sleeveless t-shirt, pony-tail and no makeup whatsoever and having an insane thought:
"This is probably what she's going to look like most of the time after we're married and have kids. Can I live with that?" I tried to come up with an answer, but I was grinning too much to think straight. I kept stealing glances at her all night. I was in heaven.

We left the game a little early because Sabrina still needed to visit her dad that night. Luckily he and her step-mom lived nearby. We called Jeff to meet us there.

I liked the way she was using the last hours of her vacation to the fullest - killing two or three birds with one stone by combining visits with her family, her friends, and me all at once. She seemed more efficient and capable and unperturbed than most women my age. This was a good sign.

Her dad was imposing and scary until you got to talk to him, then his good-naturedness put you at ease. He handed his dining-room over to the four of us and we had our own little party. We played some UNO and some bizarre drinking game of Jeff's (which is always a mistake). Luckily, my house was only a few blocks away, and I was just sober enough to take Sabrina there at midnight.

Jeff and Caroline headed home. I needed to get Sabrina back to her sister's house by 5:00 am so that she and her mom could drive back to Kingman, Arizona. We spend the next 5 hours talking together like old friends and when the time came to say goodbye, I was surprised at how sad I was. We kissed and I promised to call her.

That turned out to be the best promise I ever kept!

Proposal Story Tim and Sabrina's Wedding Page Haackhaven Sabrina's Page