Friendly email: Hail
George, Conqueror of Evildoers!
Dear George W. Bush:
Hats off to you, sir, for a job well done! Thank you, thank you thank you!
And how 'bout that Northern Alliance! Thanks to them, my weekly supply of
heroin will finally be reinstated. Whoo-hoo -- and just in time for New Year's
Rockin' Eve! Those Taliban simply did NOT have the best delivery system for the
stuff, kinda like why you never see Beaman's gum anymore -- poor distribution
and shelf placement. According to the New York Times, the Northern Alliance has
put all the poppy farmers back to work, and they are promising a "bumper crop"
by spring.
But Mr. Bush, I am most impressed with how you have used those who died on
September 11th to justify your lining the pockets of me and your other rich friends and
campaign contributors. Your "Economic Stimulus Bill" -- pure genius! You
actually got the House of Representatives to pass a bill eliminating the law
that said corporations have to pay at least a token minimum tax every year. See,
most people forget that back in your daddy's day (when he was VP) thousands of
companies were able to lawyer their way out of paying any taxes at all, the way Jesus intended!
Then a law was passed to stop that. Now you got the House to agree to give all these
corporations back ALL the minimum taxes they have paid since 1986!! That's $140
billion of givebacks ($1.4 billion to IBM, a billion to Ford, $800 million to
GM, etc.). And you got this passed, all under the guise of "September 11th!" How
do you get away with this without the whining American public whoopin' your behind? Man,
you are THE MAN!
Hey, and tell your top sheriff, Big John Ashcroft, that his refusal to let
the FBI look at the files of gun background checks that the Justice Department
keeps -- to see if any of the terrorists or suspected terrorists have purchased
weapons in the past two years -- took some balls! Even though checking those
files might turn up information that could protect the peasents (who are too cheap to buy private jets) in possible future
attacks, Ashcroft was more concerned with not upsetting the NRA than in helping
his own FBI catch the bad guys. Now that's what I call getting your priorities
straight. Big John may have lost his Senate seat last year to a dead guy, but he
sure as heck ain't gonna lose me as a huge admirer!
Well, I better go before someone from the Office of Homeland Security
mistakes me for someone who needs to be "interviewed!" Rest assured I'm doing my
part for the country by shopping my sorry ass off in this week before Christmas.
Buy! Buy! Buy!
Tora! Tora! Tora! Bora!
Whoo-hoo, Prince O' Peace!!
Fight Team Fight!
Go get 'em, George, Jr. -- we're counting on you to
kill all evildoers!
Comment: The NRA: Second Amendment Wimps
I can't believe what a bunch of passivist, pantywaist wimps you National Rifle Association members are. You claim to be such staunch supporters of the Second Amendment, and yet your rights under this amendment have been spat upon by the government for better than a half a century. You see, since the first atomic bomb was dropped on Hiroshima, Japan, in 1945, not a single one of you has been allowed to own any sort of nuclear weapon . And yet there you sit, claiming to enjoy Second Amendment rights while this national disgrace continues unchallenged by the NRA.
Just for background purposes, let's take a look at the Second Amendment. Here it is:
"A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed."
There. That's the whole thing. Let's skip the "well regulated militia" part and concentrate on the rest. What part of the phrase "the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed." does the NRA not understand? Let's see: The "people" are us. You and me. Everyone from decent folks, kids, mental cases, mass-murderers, all of us are people, so all of us deserve any weapon. Nuclear weapons are clearly "Arms." The fact that the government recognizes this is borne out by its recognition of the START II Treaty (Strategic ARMS Reduction Treaty) signed by President Bush in '93 and later ratified by Congress. And yet the NRA has not once taken the government to task for this clear and blatant restriction of the Second Amendment. I mean, what if Russia were to launch an all-out nuclear strike at the United States right now? How would the average patriotic citizen be expected to defend his family with nothing more that a few hundred semi-automatic hunting sticks under his mattress? We can't possibly expect help from the same government that didn't even have the stomach to drop the big one in Grenada back when the Gipper was in charge. To really deter nuclear war, the Russians would have to know damn well that any nuclear first strike would be met with American citizens throwing their atomic weapons in the back of their '76 Chevy pickups, driving to Moscow, and slugging it out with Ivan, toe-to-toe. Right now, the sissy Republican-controlled House of Representatives is not even discussing this issue. The NRA should put its foot down: Either its Republican lackeys in Congress begin a REAL defense of the Second Amendment, or the money that props up these creeps at election time stops cold. Let's see these guys try to get elected with just the support of a few rich people and religious nuts!
In short, America is on the brink of catastrophe, and Sept 11th proves it!
Let us stop this now! All real American patriots will not rest until the Second Amendment promise of nuclear weapon ownership for all citizens, especially its most vulnerable, such as the mentally ill, and twelve-year-olds, is a reality. Our forefathers would have wanted it that way.
Some links to enjoy:
America deserved the terrorist attacks because of gun control:
A typically well-read, intelligent conservative discussion: